In a long ago former life, I played guitar and wrote and performed my own mostly humorous/satirical material in Delaware, primarily on the University of Delaware campus and in the areas of Newark and Dover. There were two big highlights to my low-paying music "career": doing a benefit with George Thorogood, who hails from Newark; and performing a set during a break in a concert by Tom Chapin at the U of D Student Center. I just wanted to share the lyrics to one of my original tunes - perhaps you'll get a chuckle, as did many listeners back in the 1970's.
Lyrics by Tom Hodukavich, all rights reserved.
Don't Want to Die in New Jersey
Delaware and New Jersey had an argument one night
So they started up a war to determine who was right
It was my patriotic duty to go fight the enemy
And just before I left for battle, I kissed my sweet Marie, and said
I don't want to die in New Jersey
But I swear they'll never capture me alive
And just as sure as the stars above
I'll be thinking of your love
As I fire my bazooka at the cars and trucks on I-295.
Well, my thoughts were cold and drizzly
As we rode our battleship across the Bay
And the explosions rocked my eardrums
As we stormed the bloody beaches of Cape May
General DuPont gave the orders, and like good soldiers, we obeyed
I tried so hard to look courageous, but inside my heart I prayed
'Cause I don't want to die in New Jersey
It's the last place that I'd want to meet the end
'Cause I know that my poor old soul just never could relax
If my body should lie buried in this cruel land of the 5% sales tax.
It's well known that in the Garden State
They're just a bunch of gamblers, thugs, and bums
And that's why us peace-lovin' folks
Are gonna send 'em all to kingdom come
Them Jersey boys they fought like devils
But we gave 'em hell right back
As we slogged the Jersey marshes
Dodgin' the bullets and the flak
And our bones ached from exhaustion
As we launched each new attack
And we all heard all the rumors
But we could not get the facts
We drove our tanks up through Perth Amboy
And we marched on Hackensack
And we blew up all the toll booths
And we ripped up all the tracks
And the factories burned to ashes
And the sky was smoky black
And then a light flashed in my brain
And I was layin' on my back
And as my eyes tried hard to focus
And my lungs they gasped for air
That's when my ears received the message
That a truce had been declared
Well I'm not gonna die in New Jersey
Yeah they say they'll fix me up as good as new
Modern medicine is gonna put me right back on my feet - - -
For our sneak attack on Idaho next week
Well I don't want to die in New Jersey
I don't want to die in New Jersey
No I don't want to die in New Jersey
But I'm not sure
I want to live
in Delaware.
Lyrics by Tom Hodukavich, all rights reserved.
Thanks for imagining the song!