As some of you know (or may very well not know), I am originally from Wisconsin. I spent the first 25 years of my life existing in an extremely cold/frigid/horrible environment.
I think it's safe to say that I got the fuck out the there during the first serious opportunity that arose. (I won't bother you with specifics, but I can say that I absolutely trusted that I'd eventually live in Colorado, and that thought resonated with me unlike any other. Colorado, at least in my mind, was fuckin' cool!)
The only time that Colorado is not infinitely cool to me is when I am reminded of where I grew up, and how, and (even worse) how I grew up.
Right. So. Aside from the fact that I probably hail from Martians (who took pity on my poor, pathetic Packer parental-figure fans in 1969), I still remain connected to Green Bay, in ways large and small.
Ways Large: my sister, my nephews, my parents, my childhood best friend and her family (including her kids), and Kroll's.
Ways Small: Facebook friends, my parents' stupid yearly chicken booyah parties, and the infamous Midwestern work ethic.
Yeah. I also, like, hear that us Midwesterners are disgustingly friendly. Last year, I had the sincerity of my sweetness questioned, as though I was purposely "nice" so that I'd have something to gain. (?) Or, uh, something. And since the person who questioned the validity of my awesome personality was a friend of my roommate's, I didn't pry as much as I should have, most likely.
I guess that the end of 2010/the beginning of 2011 is a bad time for nice people who wish others no ill will, huh?
Earlier tonight, one of my Packer-esque friends messaged me on Facebook. She wanted to reconnect and wish me "Happy Holidays" and shit. She immediately let me know that she was drunk and that her kids (18 and 10) were not with her.
But her best friend was with her. The one who was sexually assaulted the night before graduation, 23 years ago. I remember this well, because I sat right next to this girl during the graduation ceremony. And, through tears, this girl (now woman) told me that "nothing happened. NOTHING HAPPENED! STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!"
I'll never forget the look on her face. I'll never forget the insistence in her voice. And, most of all, I'll never forget the fact that this girl ended our discussion tonight on Facebook as soon as I brought it up.
Does that mean that nothing happened, and that this girl really did just want to forget it, to not talk about it, etc.? I dunno - possibly. Maybe. But what's more disturbing to me than this one, singular event is how people in northeastern Wisconsin tend to treat sexual and/or domestic abuse:
It's not any of your fucking business, now is it bitch?!
In Green Bay and areas beyond, there is very much an atmosphere of "don't talk about it" and "sweep it under the rug". It's pretty sick shit, when you get right down to it. I am not normally reminded (in Ways Large) of how much Green Bay fucking sucks but, tonight, I was bitch-slapped into that very extreme (and yet very familiar) feeling of Ways Small.
A few sorry (and sordid) months ago, I stayed in Green Bay for a few weeks longer than I should have. And, while I was there, I came to terms with a number of things that I have never been able to truly (and honestly) notate before:
- domestic violence in Green Bay is like Fight Club: the first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club; and
- sexual violence is no big deal in NE WI, and the only people who feel that there's a problem in this area are prostitutes, whores, cunts, sluts, and bitches.
...
Sad, isn't it? I'm glad I moved back to Colorado. At least I can be honest about who I am here, and that's nothing short of a blessing to me.
Happy New Year's, to you and yours!