-Madison, Wisc.
Fifty-five-year old 7th grade science teacher Andrew Tobey is grateful to new Wisconsin Republican Gov. Scott Walker. Protests resulting from the governor's insistence that most state workers, including teachers, should give up collective bargaining rights have more than tripled the amount of time Tobey has been able to spend watching recorded programming on his TiVo. He has reportedly referred to Walker as a gift that keeps on giving and his favorite state politician, providing Tobey with a mild sense of indignation and guilt-free vacation days.
"Don't get me wrong, I think the guy is terrible for our city, our economy and especially our children, but I can't help but appreciate what he brought to the table. I haven't had to step foot inside a classroom in a week thanks to him," said 31-year veteran educator at Cherokee Heights Middle School in western Madison, who has been joining daily protests at the Wisconsin State Capitol Building. "This has been the best of both worlds. A chunk of genuine moral outrage plus a second Spring Break, a couple months early."
Tobey graduated college from the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse in 1978 before following his father's career advice to seek a “safe and steady” job in the public sector. He quickly found himself at Cherokee Heights nurturing preteens' interest in mitosis. Having summers off was an additional and outstanding bonus.
Agreeing in principle with the thousands of protesters, Tobey has been attending rallies for at least three hours each day, and intends to bleed as much paid time off as possible. The lifelong bachelor is sitting on more than three weeks in accrued sick and personal leave. Tobey confirms feeling a bond of solidarity with all of his fellow teachers and demonstrators, but also admits enjoying the gift of watching Maury and The Jerry Springer Show back-to-back on WMSN-Fox 47 most days, thanks in no small part to Gov. Walker's determination.
"Let's not kid ourselves, it's far from coincidence that Walker managed to locate a full-blown crisis that can only be solved by enacting the union-busting which has already and always been on the Republican wish list," he said. "But in my decades-long career I had never called in sick on back-to-back days, and then for all of last week I never got out of bed before the crack of noon."
Teachers say they feel bad students' near-term education is suffering, but blame Gov. Walker. They claim holding state workers, with relatively low public sector wages, accountable for solving Madison's financial woes is patently unfair. The lukewarm Tobey is on their side with his indifferent brand of support.
“For 35 years I've been telling each new generation of increasingly arrogant brats what a vestigial organ is, and I'm less than two years from my full pension.” Tobey stated. “So the hell with this. If I still felt like I had a soul then yeah, I'd probably point out the logical fallacy that is blaming school teachers for breaking the Wisconsin budget, but this is for the young bucks to worry about. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a date with Judge Judy, a burrito and a pint of Ben & Jerry's.”