From the "you've got to be kidding me" files:
COLUMBUS, Ohio — A fetus has been scheduled as a legislative witness in Ohio on a unique bill that proposes outlawing abortions after the first heartbeat can be medically detected.
Yes, you read that right. The House Health Committee wants a nine-week-old fetus to testify before the committee before deciding on the "Heartbeat Bill" sponsored by Rep. Lynn Wachtmann, (R-Of course), which would outlaw abortions once a heartbeat can be detected. Apparently, they're going to drag a pregnant woman before the committee, perform an ultrasound on her, and then project the images—in color!—onto a screen so that the committee can get the fetus's input on the bill.
Rep. Wachtmann has already admitted that the purpose of the bill, which would undoubtedly be challenged if passed into law, is to go all the way to the Supreme Court so that the woman-hating forced birthers of America can finally achieve the most important job-creating, terrorist-fighting, deficit-reducing act of all time: overturning Roe v. Wade.
The committee has not yet confirmed whether the fetus will be testifying under oath.