Not a big diarist here, and this is not a pat on our or my son's back. So forgive the amateurishness, I'm not a blogger. But I write it because it's a good story, and it gives me hope.
Our son Ian is five years old, going on six. He's always been a good kid, quick to learn and listen and be a goofball. He loves [American] football, but he's never played it and I'm pretty sure he'd cry if he got hit too hard. A boy through and through, but sensitive to a fault. He's done a good thing.
We live in a northern college town. As such, our lives ebb and flow with the University's schedule; unfortunately for him, his birthday usually falls on a day when it's usually Spring Break, when there's no school, and for better or worse, nothing resembling "Spring" either. My wife hates winter, and we agreed a long time ago when we moved here that, if we could afford it, we would go somewhere very warm every "Spring" Break. It's not been a bad year for us, we're off in a couple of days to the beach.
As a result of this arrangement to avert divorce, our son Ian's only had one real birthday "party" in his life, with his mates and neighbors and friends, because we've always been out of town on his birthday. Kind of like having a Christmas birthday, I suppose, getting screwed over yearly by the calendar.
Anyways, this year we thought we'd indulge him (and his good work thus far in kindergarten and working on this reading) with a party 2 weeks before the real day. Our house is too small to host more than one or two families, still too cold to use the lawn/outside, but it was suggested we rent the indoor pool at the Big Chain Hotel up the street. They set up some tables, give us a hotel room to change in and pee, two hours of mid-winter fun in the water, for not much money. It's not like the pool is being used much on a Sunday afternoon. We lined it up, invited 14 of his friends from school and preschool and the neighborhood, everyone who's had him to a party, and we couldn't return the favor.
And then, there's the gifts. Ah, the gifts. For this age, the selection for boys is slim. Most of the times when we have to buy a present, we give a book, or a small box of Legos (very small; my goodness are those things expensive!)
On the world of these little already-brainwashed consumers who see and want the "cool" thing (like Bakugans or Zhu Zhu Pets or you-name-the-movie-action-figure-of-the-season), in the end, $10 or $15 doesn't go very far in a toy store any more. It's even worse for girls. We understand that there are probably better, totally wholesome, economical handcrafted toys we could search out and find and give or even MAKE.... but we don't. Everybody is busy, just getting somewhere on time with a present in a bag other than the store-one is a major victory.
My wife and I, we're happy to host the party, see friends, burn some adolescent energy. Not really jazzed about receiving 14 very-well-intended gift bags of-- I'll say the word-- crap-- coming back into the house. So we ask Ian about it. We also have no idea what to get him; the party itself and the upcoming trip being our family gift to ourselves, so the question is loaded: "What do you want for your birthday?"
"I want to help people."
What? Long story short, he thinks he has enough stuff already (we think an ulterior motive, to be fair, is that he also hates cleaning up his room; in the calculus of cleaning, more toys = more to pick up later), and instead thinks that everyone should bring a toy to give to someone else in the world, who doesn't have one. We've talked before about Toys For Tots, and how charities work, and how fortunate we are to have what we have, but we've never really been sure how much of that sinks in. As far as we know, his mind is always cranking about playing Wii or watching an Iron Man video or kung fu or some banal who-knows-what. We are astounded. We verify, is this really what he wants? "Yes. I think I have enough". We hug him and thank him for being generous, at a time when really, he should be and deserves to be a bit selfish. In the world where it seems that around every corner there is a tidal wave of more more more, that we found a boy that wants more.. for someone else.
We modify his request a little bit, to make it easier on the parents, to make it some kind of contribution of food or money or whatever, to the local Women's Resource Center (which helps women escaping domestic violence) and/or the local Food Bank. Ian agreed, that people need to eat, and sometimes giving money so they can buy socks or underpants or gas to take their own kids maybe to a movie is good idea too.
So we had the party a couple days ago, his/our friends came. They splashed, they ate ice-cream cake. They brought over $120 in various gift cards to department stores and gas stations and even the movies to give to the Women's Resource Center. My wife stopped over there this morning, they were overjoyed to receive it, particularly at a time for whatever reason they were being slammed with requests for aid; I just dropped off a huge box of rice and canned goods and soup at the food bank. They too were overjoyed. There are a lot of people out there who need help.
We are overjoyed, at the blessings we have, in our lives and in our son. We will hug him and thank him again when we get home from work. The sun won't be peeking out here for a couple more weeks, but the future feels bright, today.
Thanks for reading. If this makes you feel good, donate something locally. Pool party it forward?