Stephen Colbert again had a masterful segment last night focusing on the out-of-control defense spending.
Keep in mind, the defense industry employs over 600,000 people. These are American jobs, in American factories, making American instruments of destruction that are as American as napalm pie. (Just Like Mom Used To Drop) So, it is so important we cannot cut defense, because developing, building, and selling weapons is a perpetual money-making machine. ("War Is Sell.")
You see, we give the Defense Department billions to develop new weapons to protect us from potential enemies. A few years later, we sell those weapons to countries all over the world, including potential enemies. Then, we have no choice but to manufacture newer, better weapons to protect ourselves from what we just sold. (The Circle Of Taking Life)
You know, that reminds me. This year's defense budget was only $725 billion. That's not nearly enough! I hear Saudi Arabia has F-15s now! They're going to use them to come after our strategic reserve of scrap and trash! (Oh No! Not Baltimore!)
Video and transcript below the fold.
First, Stephen looked at Bill O'Reilly's latest lie about "violent" protesters in Wisconsin, using footage from California.
Nation, the protests in Wisconsin just passed their two-week mark, and I've said from the beginning, these custodians and elementary school teachers are authoritarian thugs. I will nap when I want to, Mrs. Reardon! I'm not even tired! (yawns) And now these teachers are getting violent. No surprise, given their unfettered access to craft scissors.
Just look at this footage Papa Bear Bill O'Reilly showed while talking about the Wisconsin protests with his man on the ground, Mike Tobin.
2/28/2011:
BILL O'REILLY: Can you break the crowd down? How many are professional left-wingers, and how many are just regular folks?
MIKE TOBIN: You get a lot of out-of-towners, a lot of people are bussed in from not just Wisconsin, but a lot of surrounding states...
Shocking footage from Madison, Wisconsin. They're not only bussing in people from out of state, they're also bussing in palm trees.
Now of course, the liberal blogocrats out there have jumped all over Papa Bear for this. But it turns out there's an explanation. O'Reilly used this footage earlier in his broadcast when talking about union thugs in California, and understandably used this violent footage again while talking about Wisconsin. I say, if Wisconsinites wanted O'Reilly to use footage of their protest while he was talking about possible violence in Wisconsin, those peaceful Wisconsin protesters should have been violent. Think TV, it's a visual medium.
It's certainly not O'Reilly's mistake. Video comes in, video goes out. Never a miscommunication.
And folks, I gotta tell you, Wisconsin's Republicans are not about to be intimidated by these rogue nurses and crossing guards. They are demanding that the 14 missing Democratic Senators return home immediately to vote on the people's important business. Like this new Republican proposal. Jim?
LAWRENCE O'DONNELL (3/1/2011): The Republican legislators ... authored a bill that would prohibit prank calls.
And it is high time. The people of Wisconsin are getting tired of being made to look ridiculous.
And folks, just to be clear about this, this has nothing to do with last week's prank caller who made Governor Scott Walker look like David Koch's lap dog. Which he is not. He is David Koch's attack dog.
So I salute the Republicans who sponsored the bill, Mary Lazich and Mark Honadel, as well as the other legislators who have called in to express their support: Ben Dover, Seymour Butts, and Adolph Oliver Bush. Folks, this ban... (points to Adolph) Good man, I know him, he's a good man.
And this ban on prank calls will help balance Wisconsin's budget. They are a drain on state resources. Do you have any idea how many millions are spent every year deploying emergency crews to pry Prince Albert out of that can?
Folks, last night I talked to you about the plight of America's middle class. Traditionally, they have come from America's industrial sector. But last year, less than 12 million Americans worked in manufacturing, and the United States ran up a trade deficit of $497 billion dollars! Though I don't completely trust those numbers, since all our calculators are now made in China. In fact, America hasn't had a trade surplus since 1975. We have never recovered from the collapse of our disco ball industry.
And it may shock you to learn that one of America's top three exports is scrap and trash. And those aren't just the nicknames of Charlie Sheen's live-in girlfriends. No.
Seem like lovely young ladies. I'm talking actual scrap and trash. Things are looking bleak, nation. But there is a clear path to recovery, and it brings us to tonight's Wørd: Economic Boom.
Folks, we know we've got to get our deficit under control. (Or Pawn Iowa) And I have to admit, there have been some good starts. Democrats and Republicans both agree on cutting unless stuff like $22 million from special education, $103 million from FEMA, and $2.5 billion from home heating assistance for the poor.
Hey, it's almost spring, and with global warming, this might be the last winter. (Say It Ain't Snow) But, in their haste to balance the budget, some are going too far.
ERSKINE BOWLES (12/3/2010): I really am pleading with you, please, reduce spending. Reduce it in the defense budget...
REP. JAN SCHAKOWSKY, D-IL (1/6/2011): There's plenty to cut in the defense budget...
SEN. RAND PAUL, R-KY (2/10/2011): We will have to look long and hard at the military budget...
No! Defense is how we're going to grow our way out of this thing! A country has to sell what it's good at. That's why Russia exports vodka, Germany exports cars, and Sweden exports cheap furniture that becomes our scrap 'n' trash. (Gärbäj)
Now we know, America still makes something that the world wants. (Bats**t Crazy Celebrities) We... make... WEAPONS. And the world cannot wait to get its fingers on our triggers. Recent weapons sales have included a $3.3 billion order from the United Arab Emirates, a pending $4 billion aircraft deal with India, and an arms package worth some $60 billion, including 70 Apache attack helicopters and a fleet of F-15s to Saudi Arabia.
And the best part is, the F-15 is obsolete. (Still Runs Windows 98) Folks, our military has not bought a new F-15 since 2001! It's like the Saudis gave us $60 billion for a boatload of VCRs. (One Has Cooler Eject Button) And, our firearm firesale has gotten a lot of free press lately.
BARBARA STARR (1/31/2011): The U.S. has sold billions of dollars: fighter jets, missiles, weapons to the Egyptian military.
FOX BUSINESS CHANNEL (2/28/2011): Americans have arranged for General Dynamics to sell helicopters to Muammar Gaddafi.
DYLAN RATIGAN (2/1/2011): The label on the tear gas canister that's being shot at them says "Made in the U.S.A."
Made in the U.S.A., baby! Products built to last. (Until They Blast) Keep in mind, the defense industry employs over 600,000 people. These are American jobs, in American factories, making American instruments of destruction that are as American as napalm pie. (Just Like Mom Used To Drop) So, it is so important we cannot cut defense, because developing, building, and selling weapons is a perpetual money-making machine. ("War Is Sell.")
You see, we give the Defense Department billions to develop new weapons to protect us from potential enemies. A few years later, we sell those weapons to countries all over the world, including potential enemies. Then, we have no choice but to manufacture newer, better weapons to protect ourselves from what we just sold. (The Circle Of Taking Life)
You know, that reminds me. This year's defense budget was only $725 billion. That's not nearly enough! I hear Saudi Arabia has F-15s now! They're going to use them to come after our strategic reserve of scrap and trash! (Oh No! Not Baltimore!)
So, Washington, go ahead, cut spending for Social Security, cut spending for Medicare, cut it for anything. Just leave defense spending alone. Because we know that if we focus all our resources on things that explode, so will our economy. And that's the Wørd. (Economic Boom)
Stephen also
noticed this trend of old right-wingers who die and ask that in lieu of flowers, their friends and family
give money to any Republican who can beat Obama in 2012.
Meanwhile, Jon looked at
the situation in Libya with
Wyatt Cenac.
He then talked about the Pope
absolving Jews of killing Jesus Christ.
Jon interviewed
Allison Stanger, and Stephen interviewed
Harry Connick, Jr..
Then on tonight's show, Jon again covered the latest from Wisconsin and the role the teachers played in it.
He then looked at the recent
Supreme Court decision that ruled in favor of the Westboro Baptist Church.
Meanwhile, Stephen noted that Fox News had
suspended Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum because they might be running for President.
He then had an
ice cream eating contest with Jimmy Fallon, which resulted in a
hallucination that featured Ben & Jerry.
Jon interviewed Diane Ravitch on education reform, while Stephen interviewed Mark Moffett on the dying bees.