If you know me at all, it is probably for a series of diaries I wrote about Glenn Beck's infamous rally on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.
I am a military wife.
Each of you will already have a picture in your mind. Your pre-conceived notion of a military wife is driven by pictures of women holding small children while embracing their husbands as they head out to war. The media does a great job of planting these pictures in our heads.
Military Wife's Tirade Against Glenn Beck.
I came to DailyKos to change some of those media perceptions - I want everyday civilians to get to know everyday military wives as well as the husbands, moms, dads, and kids. I want to introduce you to a culture you may not understand and to a diversity of people that you may not know exists.
To jump start the process, I've asked Military Community Members of Daily Kos to introduce themselves in diaries to the community.
Wait! STOP! Don't stop reading! They're not introducing themselves to each other, but to YOU, the civilians in our small, progressive world we call DailyKos!
So here is my reintroduction, a little different from the rant against Glenn Beck... come below the fold and get to know why angelajean is still so pissed at the world.
My political anger has some pretty deep sources and it's not just Glenn Beck that deserves it. I came to DailyKos during the Obama Election of 2008 because I wanted to share the views of a military family. The only military opinions I saw in the news were those that agreed with President Bush. The only military families I ever read about were those that have suffered a great tragedy like the death of a family member or those facing deployment. The stories in the mainstream press were written with a sense of romanticism that I absolutely detested. I would read about suicides and about the military wife that finally couldn't take it anymore and murdered her children. Basically, I could read about the tipping points of military life.
I had never felt empowered as a military wife. I felt that my voice was unimportant in the entire political process because it was not welcome. As military family members, we're highly encouraged to keep political opinions to ourselves. It's not a law, but it is a moral value of such standing in the community that very few of us are willing to break it. The few times I have seen it broken, such as the Presidential Election of 2004, it would anger me so much that I couldn't imagine acting in the same way. You see, during that election, I knew people that supported President Bush so much that they actually placed yard signs on the Air Force base where we lived at the time. I was horrified that they had done so. But that single act has led me to where I am today.
You see, no one told them not to. No one asked them to remove the sign. And I realized that unless I started being more vocal, progressive causes would be lost in the shuffle. It's bad enough that everyone thinks the entire Air Force is run by conservatives because of the religious scandals at the Air Force Academy. Those people are not the only people I know in the military... they just seem to be the ones that get the press.
I am so tired of hearing conservatives speak out about conservative support for the war, especially active duty members, when I know that reporters really shouldn't be asking their opinions at all. You see, active duty members can't say they don't support the war. Their commander-in-chief has sent them to go and fight. The few that speak out against the war end up getting kicked out. For those supporting a family, that really isn't an option. For those that believe their oath to the United States is greater than their personal political belief, it doesn't matter anyway. They're staying in even when they think the war is wrong.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that, for a short time during 2008, I felt empowered. People cared that a military wife supported a Democratic Candidate. When on earth had that ever happened before? I didn't exactly have my 15 minutes of fame, but I spoke at a political rally in Texas by the sides of Letitia Van de Putte and Charlie Gonzalez. Me, a registered non-declared voter of either side, spoke out in support of a candidate as a military wife and my world didn't collapse.
I thought this was a new beginning for military families. President and Mrs. Obama are finding ways to highlight the needs of military families. But it is taking an incredibly long time and, honestly, very little has really changed for the average military family.
Our biggest stumbling block is YOU, especially if you are a civilian with zero military connections. If you've made it this far into the diary, I want to applaud you. Not many civilians really care to know more about us.
I wanted people like YOU to get involved but I know that doesn't happen unless you have a reason to care. Hell, I have family members who love me dearly but I still can't get them to pick up the phone and call their congressman about ending the war. What makes me think I can get you to do it?
Because you're already here at DailyKos so you obviously care about some progressive issues. Here's what I'm asking of you - read more military community stories. Comment on them. Ask questions. Hell, be offensive if need be. I'd rather have a good argument with you than be ignored.
Following our group would be a start. You'll see political issues that are important to military families - rumor has it that our military health care system might be drastically changed because of budget cuts. You might be able to help prevent that.
Call your Representatives and Senators about military issues. Regularly. Ask them what they are doing to help military families. You don't have to have the ideas. Just let them know that you care and you're concerned and you want to know what's coming up on the legislative calendar that could make a difference.
So, I managed to write all of this without telling you about our daily life. Believe it or not, daily life can seem pretty mundane at times. I feel guilty when our life feels normal because it means that another family is going through deployment instead of us.
At this moment in time, we're in high gear, not because of the war but because of a recent move. Stress levels are high. We're trying to find ways to engage our boys in the local community and that community happens to be pretty foreign to all of us. It's exciting because we're dealing with a new culture and a new language but that doesn't mean that it is always fun. It is never easy. We're waiting on our belongings which did not ship when they should have. We're living in an apartment with three aerobeds, a table, four chairs, recently acquired internet service, my laptop, and my camping kitchen set so that we have enough to cook meals. We'll be living that way for a few more weeks, I'm sure.
When you see me on Facebook or chatting on the phone, you're primarily going to hear the good things. I can't let my boys hear me complain, not even to their dad. (I sometimes fail here, but it is essential not to complain too much because then the boys begin to think things are too hard and if they're too hard for mom, they must be too hard for them).
Just as we get used to this life, we will be moving again. Don't ask where. We don't know. And we won't know until a month or two out, I'm sure. We have learned to live with not knowing and it is probably the hardest thing I have ever done. But I just push it off to some back corner of my brain and live for today.
PS - I know it is 'polite' thing to do... but please don't thank me for my husband's service. Or thank me for mine. That isn't the point. I don't want thanks and neither does he. We want decent health care, decent family support, decent living conditions, a fair salary for all ranks, and no unjust or unwinnable wars. If you really, really want to say thank you, then please call your congressman.