Those of you in the Weight Loss Kos group, as well as those who are not, have been following my weight loss story. I started in November of 2009 weighing in at 600 pounds. Since then I have lost 250 pounds, and have set a goal of weighing between 250 and 200 pounds when I am done.
My first diary on the subject contained my thoughts on actually losing that first hundred pounds--Dated in February 2010. My second diary was a continuation of the first, as I reflected on what was next to come on my journey.
Today's diary is dated from May of 2010. I wrote this as I reached my previous "half-way" goal of 150 pounds lost. I said halfway then, because my thought was that once I get down to 300 pounds, the skin removal surgery could take the rest of the extra weight off. However, I have been doing so well, I decided to "up the ante", as it were. Anyway, here is what I wrote back then:
Well. I've made it another fifty pounds. That's 150 pounds, folks. Just about halfway there. And it seems that I'm moving a bit faster than I thought. At this rate, I'll be at 200 before the Holidays. However, I'm still impatient. I guess I was spoiled by my initial successes in the first couple of months. Now, I'm averaging close to 5 pounds a week. This has been a real lifestyle change, especially in terms of what and how much I eat. Previously, my cooking has been full of creativity and butter. Now, not so much butter. In fact, I'm learning all sorts of ways to avoid cooking with excess fat. Always a good thing, to be sure, but each teaspoon of butter or olive oil is measured, as well as label reading for content. The same goes for everything. I can only have a certain amount of protein, starch, and such. Some things I can't eat. Which means for special dinners on special occasions, I have to be extra good. For example, this past Easter, in addition to our usual Polish fare, I fixed a rib roast for those who were not soup fans. The previous week, I had to be absolutely ruthless in my intakes in order for me to sample not only the roast, but the soup, which is made with half and half among its ingredients. I'm also learning more about preparation in terms of quantity. If I cook a usual size dinner, many times there are enough leftovers for several days worth of lunches, and maybe a whole other dinner. As a result, sometimes the leftovers go to waste.
Of course, this doesn't mean that I don't have cravings. Naturally, most of them involve things like cheeseburgers, fries, and pizza. I'd love to go into a place featured on Diners Drive-Ins and Dives and order something hot and greasy. However, I'm also craving fruit. Too much sugar makes fruit verboten. Darn. And that's one of the keys. I leave the Y after my morning swim and if the breeze is right, I can smell Burger King in the air. And that doesn't take into account my constant cravings for a cigarette. I can close my eyes, picture a scene like Val Kilmer in "Tombstone" coming out of the shadows going "I'm your Huckleberry" and blowing out that smoke, and I can actually taste it as I inhale oh so slowly. I've also had dreams where I am smoking and I can feel it in my lungs. The worst cravings I have are when I go up to go to bed. I had been so used to snacking at that time, I still feel the urge to open the fridge and take out something. A Big Temptation is coming up too--two of my concerts this summer are at the Porter County Fair. Fried food...but I think I have a plan.
But enough about my cravings. I'm dealing with them, and I'm determined. What's amazing to me, though, is the fact that I'm taking an interest in doing actual exercise stuff. And that's the most surprising thing about this whole process. It's been said that fitter people exercise more because they want to, and that the fitter you get, the more you want to. I don't know. I certainly can't speak for everyone, but this is something I am thinking about. Even though I still occasionally have the lazies in the morning when it comes to actually getting out of the house and on the way to the Y for swimming, once I actually start moving to get out of the house it becomes much easier. Here's a case in point: When I make my 200 pound milestone, I'm going to reward myself with a bicycle. No trips, no fabulous prizes, a bicycle. Something with which to exercise. And speaking of exercise, while I don't think I'm ready to go back downhill skiing (been a couple of times, so I'm not horrible), I'm going to investigate venues in the area where I can cross-country ski this winter.
One major improvement I've been feeling is physical. I've talked about how I can move around better and all that before. Now I have tangible proof. I am easily able to mow both the front and back without trouble or back pain. The only trouble I have is tree related--low branches on one tree and a huge and growing willow for the other.
This particular milestone--150 pounds lost--comes near the anniversary of my father's death. I'm filled with thoughts on that. I do feel a huge sense of regret that he's not here to see my progress. It makes me sad. But as I mentioned that, my sister-in-law commented on how he would have loved all the wonderful food I'm cooking (as if I didn't cook wonderful food before LOL) using my dietary guidelines. That brought a smile to my face, because he was really a bit of a fussy eater. He liked things just so, and while he would at least eat a bit of it, he wouldn't enjoy it. I think I've only made maybe 10 or so "inventive" things he really liked.
All in all, I'm doing pretty well, both physically and emotionally, except for that one big thing that keeps me depressed. And with the state of education budgets these days, it looks like it's not getting better. But hopefully, I'll have a note for my 200 pound milestone in a few months, no matter what else happens. I'll continue to post picture updates as well. I have a separate album where those pictures are. They will be in the same pose as the first one. I had just driven to Arkansas after a job interview to join the rest of the family, who had been there for a couple of days previously. I was dead tired, so I was crashed on that sofa. So the updated pictures will be looking that same way. I can already see differences in the legs and chest in terms of shrinkage. *UPDATE Those pictures will be forthcoming in another diary.
But anyway, I've reached the halfway point--150 pounds lost. Now I guess it's time to start thinking about my "Bucket List"--If I make this goal, I might be able to make all sorts of goals. So here goes:
*Note--these aren't in any kind of order, just as I'm thinking of them.
1. Complete a triathlon. When I make my goal, I'm actually going to do this. There are lots of smaller triathlons in my area. The bike and swim will be easy, but the run will be tough.
2. Egypt. 'Nuff said.
3. Go on a cruise.
4. Atlantis. Water Slide.
5. Stay up all night on the Summer Solstice for the Midnight Sun. Norway is my goal, but I'll settle for Alaska. Or somewhere in Canada. Wherever they'll have a cool party for it.
6. Masters Degrees. I'm starting the investigations for that already. I may do the Butler double degree program. *UPDATE I am taking my first graduate course the weekend of March 19-20.
7. Write a book on teaching general music in elementary schools.
8. Roller coaster tour. This may be an ongoing thing--these coasters this year, those next year, depending on the area.
9. Japan.
10. National Parks. I need my mind numbed by sheer beauty.
11. Winter Solstice up north. Endless Night. Watching the aurora.
12. Writing a book about my weight loss journey. Hey--a fella has to make a buck.
So that's what I have so far. I'm sure there are more ideas bubbling around in there somewhere, but they haven't manifested themselves yet. I'm also open to suggestions. Especially ones that don't cost a lot of money. Speaking of which, I guess it's getting to that time where, if I don't have insurance, I need to start thinking about the skin removal surgery I'm going to need, it looks like sooner rather than later, and it ain't cheap. I suppose I could talk to some burn clinics and see if they'll help defray the costs in exchange for the donation, but I won't hold my breath.
So that's the condition my condition is in for now.
NOTE: This is what the state of things in my journey was like last May. The next update, written in late August, will be coming in about a week or so.