A member of my family died today. She died in my arms. She was the most beautiful, gentle, loving being I have ever known in my life. She was my soul-mate, though she never uttered a word. She touched my soul like no human ever had. She gave me 100% unconditional love and devotion. From me, she expected so little – just food, water, potty breaks and some playtime. I gave her much more than that, of course, but still, she wanted so little to be happy. She worshipped me, but I wasn’t worthy of her. She was far too good for me.
When my mom died in 2004, Jessie felt my grief. She was never intrusive, never the in-your-face kind of dog but she hardly ever left my side after that. She was always there, lying nearby, in case I needed a quick hug and kiss.
So today, 2 months shy of her 12th birthday, she passed away. She had developed cancer in her thorax, and since it hadn’t been discovered until it was too late, the size of the tumor was cutting off her air. I don’t know how I could have known sooner what was growing inside of her, but somehow I feel I let her down.
We only found out there was something wrong a couple of weeks ago, and it was only Saturday morning that we found out for sure it was cancer. We were told she probably only had a couple of months left. We got as far as Saturday night when she started having short bouts of gasping for air. Sunday she seemed better. Last night was bad again.
We took her to the vet this morning, understanding that we were likely to get the worst news possible – and we did. The vet said it was her time. So I held her, and stroked her, and told her I loved her over and over, and the vet gave her the injection. Then the labored panting stopped, and my beautiful princess quietly left me.
Even though my husband and my son are here with me, and my daughter even came by for a bit, the house feels empty. Jasmine the cat doesn’t seem particularly sociable tonight, either. I’m missing my beautiful girl.
I hope my profound sorrow passes soon. I can’t bear it.
Rest in peace, my gentle, loving Jessie. There will never be another like you.
Jessie
1999-2011