Video and transcript below the fold.
We begin tonight with our ongoing coverage of America at Not-War. In Libya, America's assistance appears to be paying dividends, as reports indicate that the rebels, bolstered by NATO airpower, have taken 6 coastal cities! What's that? Oh, sorry, ah, I'm being told they've taken the same city... 6 times. Ah, kind of a stalemate. There's a lot at stake here, including the prestige of the United States. But finally, this morning, a light at the end of the tunnel.
CHRISTINE ROMANS, CNN AMERICAN MORNING (4/5/2011): New signs this morning that the Libyan dictator, Muammar Gaddafi, may be looking for a way out after 42 years in power.
Yes! Good guys win! Good guys win! Our gamble pays off! Obama looks like a genius! Best of all, Libya gets her freedom! Yes! So what exactly are we talking here? Some kind of provisional council taking over, international body, what's Gaddafi's offer?
ROMANS: The plan would have Gaddafi's son, Saif, take over.
Gaddafi could've gone with his wilder son, Completely Un-Saif.
Maybe this guy will be a real change for Libya. What's he like?
ROMANS: He's also the one who threatened, quote, "rivers of blood", if the people rose up against his father.
"Rivers of blood", huh? Not oceans! Sounds like he's a moderate. Libya's armed revolution stands in contrast to its neighbors, Egypt and Tunisia, whose uprisings were not only more peaceful, but led in large measure by an unexpected group.
LAMA HASAN, ABC THIS WEEK (3/6/2011): In Egypt, women, especially young women, have helped lead the uprising, blogging, tweeting, organizing.
RICHARD ENGEL, NBC (2/1/2011): A single mother, Sharaf, has been awake for 24 hours, and makes hundreds of cell phone calls a day.
HASAN: 24-year-old Gigi Ibrahim is one of the faces of the Egyptian revolution. An outspoken activist, Ibrahim was shot in the back with a rubber bullet during the protests in Tahrir Square. That did not stop her.
Wow. Shot in the back with a rubber bullet. That is a strong woman. Although to be fair, Oprah would've caught it in her teeth. I'm just sayin'! I'm just saying she's strong too.
JON STEWART: For a look at how things are progressing for women in the Middle East, we turn to Senior Women's Issues Correspondent, Kristen Schaal. Kristen, thank you for joining us. Appreciate you being here.
KRISTEN SCHAAL: Well, Jon, I'm sad to say for all the hard work women have done in support of these movements towards democracy, it seems to be lost on the men-folk there.
ANDREA MITCHELL (3/6/2011): In Egypt, women are finding themselves locked out of forming a new government, just weeks after they helped lead the revolution.
ANNE THOMPSON, NBC (3/8/2011): There are no women on the committee to revise the constitution, and only one woman in the new Cabinet. ... It's clear gender equality has a long way to go. ... The loudest voices? Those of young men, telling the women to go home and stay home. On International Women's Day, this man tries to convince these women their role is to clean and mop.
SCHAAL: Told to go home and mop? On International Women's Day? That's why we mop so hard on International Women's Day Eve, so we can enjoy the day!
STEWART: I understand, Kristen, I can see why that's very disappointing.
SCHAAL: Yeah, but it's not surprising. Revolutions are notorious sausage-fests. And just when it seemed like Egypt was going to be a democracy clam-jam, boom! Here comes the Grand Ol' Pickle Party!
STEWART: Well, I think that's an unfair generalization of revolutions as... as... as pickle parties.
SCHAAL: Hmm, really?
STEWART: Yeah.
SCHAAL: Name one woman who took part in the American Revolution.
STEWART: Just one?
SCHAAL: Mm-hmm.
STEWART: Oh! Ah...
SCHAAL: Someone who didn't make the flag.
STEWART: Oh. Oh!
SCHAAL: Sacajawea was Lewis & Clark's guide.
STEWART: Oh! Um... oh!
SCHAAL: Harriet Tubman, Underground Railroad.
STEWART: Fuck! Um, all right. Oh, what about, uh...
SCHAAL: Mm, she discovered radium and she was French.
STEWART: Oh!
SCHAAL: Sally Field's an actress.
STEWART: Shit! All right, so what can women in the Middle East do to get the rights that they fought so hard for?
SCHAAL: Well, just because women are being shut out of the political process, doesn't mean they don't have options. In the short term, they could always be Gaddafi's voluptuous nurse.
SCHAAL: Or one of its voluptuous bodyguards.
BRET BAIER (2/4/2011): The women are called the Amazonian Guard. They are said to be hand-picked virgins who are trained in martial arts and firearms.
STEWART: Wow! Why do they have to be virgins?
SCHAAL: Well, they're better at following orders than the Slut Squad.
STEWART: There... there's a Slut Squad?
SCHAAL: Fortunately, there's a precedent in the Middle East for groups of people who've been historically persecuted.
STEWART: You're not suggesting...
SCHAAL: That's right, Jon. It's time women had their own Holy Land! Presenting the independent female republic of Vagistan!
STEWART: Umm... that was... Vagistan?
SCHAAL: Yeah. Not quite what...?
STEWART: Little on the nose.
SCHAAL: What about... Shegypt?
STEWART: Misreal.
SCHAAL: Uh... how about, Turkwomanistan?
STEWART: Boobados.
SCHAAL: Oh, Boobados? That's in the Carribean, come on!
STEWART: Lesbanon?
SCHAAL: I got it. Libya Majora.
STEWART: Done! Done! Done! Of course, I'm not sure women are really akin to the tribes of Israel wandering the Sinai.
SCHAAL: Of course not. Women would never spend 40 years wandering the desert. One of us would have the good sense to stop and ask for directions! Am I right, ladies? Am I right? (wild female audience applause) Fuck Moses! But if turning womanhood into a religion is what it's going to take, we'll make it one. I've even designed our first female holy site, the Domes of the Rock.
SCHAAL: Jon. Jon. Jon! Hey, hello! (waves hand in front of Jon's face)
STEWART: Wha...?
SCHAAL: You're staring!
STEWART: Oh, uh, I saw the pictures, it's just so spiritual. It's just, uh... Chuck, could we have that up again so I could just...?
STEWART: (lustily) Oh yeah.
SCHAAL: Mm-hmm, they are pretty sweet.
STEWART: Yeah. Hey, is Libya Majora, is that like woman-only? Could I live in Libya Majora, or is it kinda...?
SCHAAL: Sorry, Jon. Though you could be one of our bodyguards. Are you still a...?
STEWART: No, I have two children.
SCHAAL: Oh, well, I'll put you down for the Slut Squad.
STEWART: Aww, thank you very much, Kristen. Kristen Schaal, everybody. We'll be right back.