A few years back, I was dating a great guy. Except, he wouldn't eat Chinese, Indian, Thai, Mexican or Middle Eastern food. I love those kinds of food. What would happen, if we went to eat, was that if he got his way (usually a steak house) every thing was fine. But if we went to say, the Indian restaurant in the neighborhood, he would pout the whole time, order the Tandoor Chicken and naan, complain, then carry on and eventually argue "that food" bothered his stomach. His goal was to make the whole experience so miserable, I'd stop going.
And for a while his approach worked. When we went out, we did steak, we did burgers, we did pancakes. I finally got tired of this boring routine and started insisting that we go places I like as well. The usual histrionics began - "I don't like that. It upsets my stomach. Maybe you should go eat by yourself tonight."
So I shrugged and said, "Okay. Talk to you later," and headed out for dinner. Well of course I got home and found him pouting and upset and hungry, having not had dinner. I pointed out that was foolish of him to have gone without and went about my business.
This happened a couple times. I finally looked him in the eye and said, "Carrying on isn't going to get you anywhere. All you're doing is making yourself miserable."
Well, one day he broke down and agreed to dinner at the local Chinese dive; he tried the hot and sour soup and liked it. Next time he tried a noodle dish and while he was dismayed it wasn't "pasta" he liked it. And so on.
Once he realized I was unmoved by his hysterics, he stopped.
I realize that a government shut down is different than dinner but Republicans are behaving like spoiled children. They are having temper tantrums to get what they want. They will ruin dinner for everyone if they do not get their own way. Like a child who wants McDonald's and is upset the family is having La Salsa, they're pitching a hysterical fit. What they're asking is that 20% of population have veto power over what the rest of us want.
We have to decide if want to give it to them.
But we also have to call them publicly on their behavior. "You want to cut Medicare and Medicaid. The majority of Americans do not want to cut those programs. You want to balance the budget on the backs of working Americans. Most Americans are opposed to that. You want to shut down the government rather than compromise. Most Americans expect us to compromise." Name the behavior, publicly, explicitly. They'll complain, they'll carry on. It's okay. A child who has never been told no carries on when the first time he's told no.
Now, my ex is obviously my ex for a reason. At a certain point, you get tired of adults who act like children. But until I named his behaviors, it did not do any good.