It was late in the evening, and the phone call surprised me. I heard Tom's cheerful, engaging voice and asked him "Where are you calling from?" He laughed, as he knew what I meant, that I was doing a riff on our relationship, he a major figure in the fundamentalist Christian movement, and I a firm, outspoken atheist. "No, I'm not calling from heaven," he said with a hearty laugh.
We had met only six months ago, but I can say over this short time we have become friends. It was at the open house of the "Creation Museum" of Santee California not that far from my home in North County San Diego. It was an open house with donuts, coffee and smiling people as I walked past the picket signs saying "Creationism is not Science." There were two speakers. The first was a Ph.D biochemist who was describing the various components of living forms, with detailed explanations of bacteria, viruses and cells. I had recently taken a renewed interest in this subject, having completed an amazing book called "Life Ascending" so I was able to see that his presentation was accurate, except for the one little problem of his assuming that all of this occurred by edict of God, and evolution (with minor exceptions) having nothing to do with it.
Yet, I liked the speaker, and my questions from the audience were respectful, in spite of my clear rejection of the premise that all of what that he described had a history of about six thousand years. (This link for details of his talk and my response) Afterwards, the man Tom,who had given the introduction tracked me down in the book store, and introduced himself.
For most of us there is a gradual unfolding of self disclosure when we meet new people (except those into instant dating) But with Tom, within ten minutes I knew his biography, how he had come to Christ, and was able to acquire enough wealth to build and maintain this rather impressive museum-and much more.
We had a connection, both being Jews who were brought up in a religion I will call first generation Jewish orthodoxy. It is the quickly decaying residue of the strict cloistered religion of those who lived in Eastern Europe, and were becoming Americanized. Depending on details those born here from these families, there is a bit of Yiddish, a modicum of Hebraic tradition, boys usually being Bar Mitzvahed; but all the while the dedication to this Jewishness being diluted by the world around them. Yet there is a bond that we both felt, an identity that existed in spite of his being the most Christian of Christian, and my being the most nonspiritual of atheists.
We spent a half hour talking in the book store, then he took me to the new wing that was to be opened soon on the human body. My recent reading of "Life ascending" allowed me to make a few observations, and even corrections that impressed Tom, as he knew quite a bit about human physiology himself. So much so that I became fascinated by the paradox of a man who had personally made advances in the field of antibody research, won an award of 40 million dollars from the federal government for disclosing a bogus diagnostic procedure, yet who also believed that all of life was created in seven days only six thousand years ago.
We got together one more time when he gave me a tour of his manufacturing and research operation just south of the Mexican border. It was an amazing experience seeing this modern state of the art facility for cultivating antibodies and using them in the manufacture of commercial products, including our country's most used pregnancy test. He incorporated into the structure a Christian elementary school and a 2000 seat church designed for mass baptisms. While the religious component is less than a quarter of the area of the building, Tom proudly proclaims that it represents his primary goal in life, making money being only instrumental to this end.
We connected a few times afterwards by phone and email, but I realized that while there may have been some genuine contact, his primary goal was to chalk up another soul for Christ, and our personal affinity was a tool to this end. Finally I wrote him an email saying that his chance of converting me to Christianity is about as much as my turning him into an atheist, and unless we can both respect this, there was no reason to continue contact.
A few months passed, and quite honestly disappointed that he had not responded, I finally got the phone call. It turned out that the chronic back pain that he had been suffering with for years, was a tumor-- malignant and inoperable. It is for this reason that I'm not using his last name, or being more specific about who he is. I can't be sure who knows about his illness, although he no longer goes to his office so it can't be much of a secret, but I don't want to spread details any further.
This brings me to the phone conversation that I began this story with. It was late, and I was tired, and I often get kind of down at this time as my energy level flags. And here was Tom on the line, upbeat, warm hearted, describing his current chemo regimen, including the most extreme last chance treatment, bone marrow removed with the patient, now without any immune system, placed in a bubble. His consideration of this treatment with 30% mortality is a statement of how close he realizes he is to death.
And so we continued, this atheist talking about heaven with a creationist who was very close to being there. Just as there are no atheists in foxholes, there are probably very few believers who don't have a gnawing doubt as they approach their final moments. I mentioned in passing that in the religious tradition that we share, Judaism, "Heaven isn't really mentioned." Tom responded, "That's not so, you know the 23rd Psalm that ends with, "and you shall dwell in the house of the lord, forever. That is describing heaven, and for eternity. "
Given my fatigue, the contrast of my feeling low and Tom's joyful certainty, for a minute I was with him, I was crossing a line, empathy for his condition was shifting to comfort, my own comfort as I felt as I did as a child when I said my prayers before going to sleep....but such comfort in a loving caring almighty God is something that I had long ago abandoned. Catching myself, I got angry.
"Tom, you can't do this. I'm who I am. Right or wrong this is my life, this is what sustains me. Even if you were given the power by your God to change who I am, you shouldn't do it, Just as if by some miracle I could turn you into an atheist, it would be the cruelest thing anyone could do...."
Tom got my message and his tone changed, "You're right, Al." he said. "Sometime's what I do is not for the glory of God, but it's for Tom. I know what you're saying. I understand." We chatted for a few more minutes, but the conversation was winding down. And we bid each other good night.
Tom has not brought me to Jesus, but he has conveyed something more rare, what Jesus means to him, how it has sustained him through a difficult life, and allowed it to be more full, richer than otherwise would have been possible. If we had the time, there is a chance that we could go further together, that I could show him that his God would not want to thwart a full understanding of his world among those created in his image. I would use the same words that he uses from Proverbs 25.2 to respond to my arguments against the inconsistencies of his cosmology.
It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings (mortals).
I would try to convince Tom that when he does not acknowledge the most advanced tools of scientific exploration that discern the eons of time of our world, he is defeating the biblical injunction to allow mortals to discover Gods glory. It is for God to conceal, not for Tom.
I somehow believe that, against all odds, if we we were to have the time we just might make progress on our mutual goals; he showing me a Christianity that I have never known, and I demonstrating that atheism, far from offending God, is part of His plan of discovery.