I'd like to shed light on an issue that has gone unnoticed for far too long. It is about time that something was done about a "recreational hobby" that is ruining lives all over the country. I urge Congress to take action and the people of the United States to rise against this obsession American people have with Golf. Those who play it tend to call it recreation or fun, but it's clear now that it is more of an addiction.
Think about how much better it would be for our country if so much money wasn't spent on green fees or country club fees. It would be great for the economy. These golfers are distracted at work; reading golf magazines, thinking about when they can get out on the course next. It would clearly improve employees production at work and focus.I can't think of anything golf provides for our country that is good. Most of the golf carts these players use aren't even gas powered.
Everyone knows that a significant percentage of the people who play golf also put money on the line against their friends when they play the game. If this was such a friendly game then why are people losing so much money and drinking so much alcohol why they play???? I heard on some courses little whores with short shorts go around serving married men beer. I mean that's basically the definition of immoral. However, not as immoral as the thousands of people who skip church on Sunday to play the game. They're out there saying the "F Word" when they shoot a bad shot. What The Freaking Heck is wrong with these people? Once we finally admit that anyone who plays golf should be criminally charged, that's when we will see so many less financial lives ruined. I mean, I've heard of people who can't control themselves on the golf course. Betting $10, $11, up to even $12.50 a hole. People will buy their children a less expensive birthday gift just so they can afford their country club fees and their wagers. This just isn't right people.
I understand that some of you will claim this is a game of skill, but I mean come on; you cannot control the wind. There is a large amount of luck involved. You can aim for the fairway or the green, but once you actually swing the club you just have to hope for the best. You cannot just will the ball into the hole. So when it comes down to it, it's still a game of chance. That's why the number of people who buy golf books, take golf lessons, and watch golf on television is about the same as how many people buy books about playing roulette, and take roulette lessons, and watch roulette on ESPN.
So, it's clear we have to take a stand for America. Let's get these addicts of gambling and lust who call themselves golfers back home to their families where they belong before they kill themselves or harm society even more. Criminalize Golf.