I don't think it's a coincidence that Christianity celebrates it's two biggest holidays by eating things that are hollow on the inside.
This is the weekend where Mel Gibson hates Jews more than usual.
Like most fake Christian holidays, I'm just here for the booze and candy
Je$u$ holiday$ are $acred.
Guys, you will know that you've done your job as a father when your daughter meets the handsome guy with the awesome, chick magnet car and says, "Small dick, eh?"
My favorite part of the Bible is where Jesus gives money to the rich, tells the poor to suck it up and asks for Caesar's birth certificate.
If you think Mercury's in retrograde, I think your intelligence is in retrograde.
Lindsay Lohan will be in jail for 120 days longer than Lt. Gen. McChrystal for falsifying Pat Tillman's death certificate.