.
Why is Ronald Reagan not getting more credit for the killing of Osama? He did invent helicopters and gun powder and shoes. He put the whole operation in motion.
—Blogger Sandy Underpants.
Some top Republicans are giving most of the credit for killing bin Laden to former President George W. Bush. It's kind of like when someone opens a pickle jar and you say, "Well, I loosened it."
—Jimmy Kimmel .
Sarah Palin said Obama should stop 'pussyfooting around' and release the photos. Yes, because the guy who ordered the SEALs into a sovereign country without permission and killed public enemy number one is a pussy, and the woman who quit her job as the governor of a state with no people after half a term and won't do an interview with anyone but Greta Van Susteren is a bad-ass. Right.
—Bill Maher.
The Republicans are so happy about bin Laden they’ve granted President Obama full citizenship.
—David Letterman
The initial reports said that Osama bin Laden was killed by Navy SEALs, but now it appears that he was killed by actual seals.
—Jimmy Kimmel.
We shouldn't be leaving Afghanistan as a result of this. We shouldn't be leaving Iraq, we should remain there to get the job done.
—Rudy Giuliani.
What job?
I don't like this new Obama who hunts Muslim extremists. I like the old Obama who is a Muslim extremist.
—Stephen Colbert.
In the wake of President Obama's decision to not release pictures of Osama bin Laden's body, a number of new conspiracy theories are surfacing claiming that bin Laden is not really dead. Which means Barack Obama will go down in history as the first black person ever to have to prove that he killed some one.
—Seth Meyers.
To be fair, Dick Cheney was shooting guys in the face long before it was cool.
—Bill Maher, on the shooting of Bin Laden.
To not put water down Khalid Sheikh Mohammed’s nose to get information is immoral.
Dennis Miller.
To listen to all your fake self-righteousness is torture.
It’s not in our values to pull out people’s teeth and eyeballs and secondly… you know what? We can get that information in other ways.
—Juan Williams.
Floridians are going to have to start pulling up their pants and stop having sex with animals soon.
—NBC Miami's Brian Hamacher, on the new Florida laws.
Wow. 'My only goal is to make money'. I haven't seen a film with that message since Transformers 2.
—Stephen Colbert, on Atlas Shrugged.
They had a Republican debate last night. it was a virtual who's who of...who?
—Bill Maher.
I don't know if he ever tasted Godfather pizza, but if he can keep that place from going bankrupt, he is an economic genius.
—Stephen Colbert on former Godfather's Pizza CEO and GOP Presidential candidate Hermain Cain.
It's so great to be on Fox News, a network that both pays me and shows me the questions ahead of time. And I just hope that tonight the lamestream media won't twist my words by repeating 'em verbatim.
—Tina Fey as Sarah Palin on SNL's "GOP 2012 Undeclared Candidates Debate".
If you're looking for the big winner in tonight's GOP debate, it's President Obama.
—Fox News' Andy Levy.
Not right this minute, but yes, I am.
—Rudy Giuliani on if he's running for President.
I, for one, am holding my breath.
If you tell me where you're at, say on the sanctity of marriage or on some core value issues. I'll tell you where you're at on economic policy.
—Bob Vander Plaats, on the Tea Party's real values.
To quote the man himself, "You don't have to live by the standards that society has set". I couldn't agree more.
—My Chemical Romance's Gerard Way's response to Glenn Beck's claim that his song "Sing" being used in Glee was propagandistic.
In terms of domestic politics, I would bet that Obama gets a 5-point bounce in approval for a while, but if Obama stays in Afghanistan, then the reality on the ground will erode that bounce fairly soon.
—Duke political science professor Chris Gelpi.
Sen. John McCain met with the CEO of Twitter today. At least that's what he tried to tweet on his garage door opener.
—Conan O'Brien.