Okay, so in less that twelve hours, the latest version of the Rapture(SM) will begin in eastern Asia and Australia.
Now, I'm not buying this, but it's gotten a lot of buzz (more than the last Rapture(SM) which was ... when?), but you never know.
Supposedly, the "worthy" (not necessarily James Worthy) will be call up from this earth at 6:00 PM local time. However, what if that's not the case? What if you pray extra hard today, and something, some place, or someone were raptured at your request?
I'd love to hear from you, but I'll try to come up with some below the squiggle.
First, I would ask that the stupid ad for "Digits" from Nabbr be raptured. I never have the sound on, and believe me, I never will. I find the man to be a bit creepy, and wonder why some women are even interested in him.
Second, I'd have the song "Freebird" raptured. If I never, ever hear that song again, it will be too soon. NOTE: If you try to be funny and post a link to a video of Freebird, I will HR you. So don't do it.
Third, I'd like to have audible car alarms raptured. I hate those things! Make them silent, and have them send a text alert to your iPhone.
Next up: NASCAR. Not the drivers, or mechanics, or the fans. Just the cars, and the idea that driving around in an oval is any measure of a driver's ability or a constructor's technological prowess.
Another candidate for rapture: "that guy". You know what I'm talking about. As a corollary, anyone who yells "Marco!" at a convention, expecting the return phrase, "Polo!" should be lifted off the ground and spun around until he or she becomes too dizzy to walk.
Then there is this: any building named after George Dubyah. Courthouse, library, you name it. Leave the people, but take the buildings and all the contents. Come to think of it, take the "Condoleeza Rice" oil tanker.
Finally, let's get rid of all beer ads where the men are stupid. You know it just encourages them to be jackasses, don't you?
Feel free to add your own in the comments section.