9,000+ Miles away, and I am riveted by a typical Minnesotan talking about the Gay Marriage Ban that is being voted on the the State House shortly.
An Australian co-worker of mine told me last week that the American Gay Community seems so hung up on the idea of Gay Marriage. He, an older, gay man, have been with his partner for 21 years but has never had the want, or the need, to get married.
"Perhaps it is another cultural difference" I told him. Americans seem to be brought up with the expectation of Marriage, this milestone that everyone should go through... and to have it taken away because some people think loving someone of the same sex is "sinful" and "wrong" means I don't get that milestone... and I for one... and a completionist.
I told him that Australia has a significant, and realistic alternative to marriage, and that both straight and gay couples exercise that right.
But it is an interesting thought to consider none the less.
I was born in Minnesota. I spent the first few years of my life in rural west-central Minnesota. I remember Snows, the snow making a winter wonderland, everything so quiet, and serene. Summers on lakes, where the humidity is hot, but the water was cool. I remember Corn taller than me and Soybean fields that open up like the ocean, where home stands with trees cropped up like islands. I remember the horses on my Aunts Farm, I remember the storms, I remember the people.
I was still young when I left Minnesota. I moved to another Midwestern State, and over the years, I moved to the East Coast, and finally overseas. I still look to Minnesota as my first home. My extended family all live there, in the same general area. Some Liberal, some Conservative, but all family after a fashion. I may see them rarely, but they are still family.
And today... I watch from my computer the debate on whether I am as equal to my Cousins when it comes to marriage.
If this is passed by the Minnesota House, it will become, in my opinion, Custer's last stand of the Anti-Equality Movement. We have constantly seen in the last few years, the inevitable move towards equality. It hasn't been easy, but finally, we are seeing how the public is beginning to change on the subject. It is still touch and go, but it we are finally coming to the tipping point.
It is said that a cornered animal is the most dangerous.
If this passes, the cornered animal will come to Minnesota, and the whole state will become a horrific battleground for an agonizing 18 months. People who don't know Minnesota will come screaming into the state. Commercials, Pamphlets, Volunteers will come to Minnesota, trying to convince the people of their perspective. Some will be patient, nice, Midwestern-like, respectful. But others will be worse, far, far, worse. A cornered animal is mean, dangerous, will do anything to survive. They will lie, they will break rules, they will attack and attack and attack, no matter how desperate it may seem, in order to survive.
but I will do my part.
It is my duty, as a (former) Minnesotan, to reach out to my family, to talk to them about my life, my experience. They know I am gay, I don't hide, and whether it is Minnesotan civility, there hasn't been a cross word said on the subject. I am sure there are a couple that disapprove, but they dare not say it.
They would have to contend with my great uncle Don if they did.
Don is in late 70's and is still alive and Kicking. The only other out member of my clan, Great Uncle Don has also never hid his sexuality. He left Minnesota as well, went to Washington DC (which I did the same some 50 years later). He was in the White House Press Corps, and fell in live with a Chef in the Eisenhower White House...
Imagine... Gay Love blooming in the White House in the 1950's... McCarthy can spin in this grave.
A few years later, Don and Chris moved back to Minnesota, and again... what may be Minnesotan Civility, no one said a word. Chris went to Family Reunions, all the kids knew him as "Aunt Chris" and he was apart of the family. He was accepted, he was loved. They are still loved. Together for nearly 60 years, and they still love each other. And as I engage my family in discourse... if this happens. I will remind them of Don and Chris.
This is not going to be pretty. The animal is cornered, and I will do everything within my power to debate with my family (and others where possible) to destroy this vile, bigoted, narrow minded, and selfish animal that is plaguing a country and a State that I love.
I travel to the US in the Fall of 2012 with my partner, to introduce him to my family, to show him the country I grew up in... and you better believe that I will come back to Minnesota with a fire, and a drive to do my part. he doesn't know it yet, but I will propose to him while we are there... I am going to have my milestone.
I will show up with a smile on my face, a Casserole in my hands, and even maybe a 12 pack of Beer, and have a chat in order to open hearts.