Republicans in the House and Senate unanimously agreed today to raise the debt ceiling for one-time only, if Democrats agreed to support these ten common-sense reforms:
1. Profits are private. Therefore, tax rates on upper income persons (including corporations) must never again be as high as they were in the 1940s and 1950s. Current upper-income tax rates will be cut by 50%. To encourage job creation, corporate liabilities will now be underwritten by the public. Innovation by private financial institutions is encouraged. This is "free enterprise."
2. Government schools (formerly known as "public" schools) do not have sufficient public funds to pay teachers and adequately educate students. Studies have shown that a private company can come in, do a great job with the same amount of public money, and earn themselves a big profit, besides. Therefore, the federal government will encourage and facilitate privatization of all remaining "public" schools.
3. All Federal prisons will be privatized. (See #2 above.)
4. National Parks are socialist anachronisms. All National Parks will be sold to private corporations at a fair price set by said corporations. This one-time payment to the US Treasury will reduce our debt, as will the elimination of the no-longer-necessary Department of the Interior. In addition many logging, mining, and theme park jobs will be created.
5. Pension funds including Social Security, plus Medicare, Medicaid, and other "welfare" programs encourage idleness and sloth. All will be phased out or privatized starting 20 years from now as the current elderly voters die off. A committee will be established to report on the feasibility of privately-run work houses. Current entities providing health care and/or food, especially health care or food to low-income women, infants, and children, will be defunded immediately.
6. As the most productive US citizens own their own transportation, buy their own books, and live in gated and other exclusive communities with private security and other amenities, it is not fair for them to be taxed for local libraries, roads, parks, street lights, trash collection, etc. No Federal funds will go to any communities supporting such projects with local or state taxes.
7. No Federal funds for public transit. (See #6 above.)
8. No Federal funds for disaster relief. A house blown away by a tornado, a city flooded over too-low levees, health or livelihood taken by oil from an underwater pipe breach--all are Act of God events. The government should not be in the business of alleviating Acts of God.
9. Every US citizen henceforth will be free to negotiate privately (not collectively) with his/her employer to set working hours, wages, and benefits/safety conditions (if any). Competition will drive down wages, and ambition or need will increase working hours. This reform will enable US workers to compete with the high productivity of sweat shops around the world.The Department of Labor, serving no useful purpose, can be closed thus saving additional tax dollars.
10. On the Great Seal of the United States, the motto "E pluribus unum" (Out of many, One) will be replaced with the words, "God Help Us", a more appropriate motto since we no longer intend to work for the common good, or to help each other.