Esby here, and I have a confession to make. I did not post Quote the Ravin' last week, I was hacked. My workflow usually consists of typing a bunch of stuff up that somebody else said, then taking a picture with my phone camera. The photo then posts to my yfrog account, where it gets Twittered, Facebooked, Digged, and Myspaced. Apparently somebody else
uploaded another quote blog first, which you can tell by examining the exif data and noting I would never, ever make fun of Sarah Palin.
Lastly, it only got one rec. I get at least five every week.
Wisconsin's governor Walker says concealed weapons will work as voter ID.
I don't panic. There's nothing that they can pick out of me.
—84 year old Mary Tanning, who was one of the victims of Sony Pictures hack.
Based on how you eat pizza, Donald, I want to see your long-form birth certificate. I don't think you were really born in New York.
Sarah Palin had dinner with Donald Trump in New York. The first thing she did when she walked into the restaurant was shoot the rodent off his head.
You know what? I didn’t mess up about Paul Revere.
—Sarah Palin to Chris Wallace.
My name is Jason, and this week, Fox scores an exclusive interview with their own employee, Sarah Palin, who will hopefully tell us about that time Benjamin Franklin got struck by lightning and invented the kite, which he used to defeat the Sea Monsters in the War of 1812.
Of course, the lame stream media ambushed Palin with gotcha questions like "Where are you going?" and "Why are you doing this?"
—Stephen Colbert on Sarah Palin's bus tour.
Everything is a gotcha question with her.
It doesn't make it a "gotcha" question just because it got ya.
Even Piper was able to grasp the significance of being in the presence of our first President, who had such diverse interests, when she told me later how hard he must have worked to keep that farm going.
It's true. I cannot imagine how hard he worked with no help other than his African volunteers.
None of the kids are ever in school, none of the parents have jobs, vacation from what?
—Bill Maher on the Palins.
Well, that sounds like the ultimate pander.
—Herman Cain on Rep. Michele Bachmann's (R, MN) and former Gov. Tim Pawlenty's (R, MN) prayers during their Faith and Family conference speeches.
In an email message sent out yesterday to supporters, Santorum's campaign attempted to clarify just what sets their frothy, third-tier candidate apart from the other GOP presidential hopefuls.
—Jason Cherkis on Rick Santorum's campaign slogan: Courage.
Clean water is important to us,. Decent housing is important to us. But they're not rights. And we have to begin to say that what's important is that we in a rational way are able to reform these programs in a way to save them.
Right, semi-clean water is better than nothing.
Because they’re not going to try to put sharia law in our laws.
—Herman Cain on why he would appoint gay cabinet members.
Unless they're gay muslim extremists. Herman Cain's nightmare.
They know that it's a Democrat's penis because it won't stand up.
—Bill Maher, on Weinergate.
I am proud to say that I have the torso of a 76 year old man.
—Stephen Colbert, on the photos of Anthony Weiner that Andrew Breitbart posted yesterday.
I'd love to one day hear a politician get questioned this aggressively about a matter of actual substantive importance.
—Jed Lewison, on Anthony Weiners press conference yesterday.
That was the last question I heard shouted by the press over the media din as Anthony Weiner copped to, er, sextweeting? The country is facing potential default, the leader of the GOP is a delusional maniac, the Middle East remains on a knife edge ... and the question in the headline above is still ringing in my ears.
—Andrew Sullivan., on the last question at Rep. Anthony Weiner's (D, NY) press conference: "Were you erect?"
Few vegetables arouse stronger emotions than does the Brussels sprout. You either love ’em or hate ’em.
—The Corner's John Derbyshire, posted DURING Weiner's press conference.
That being said, gotta go with hate them.
After this he is one for four. And always, Breitbart was gracious in victory.
—Stephen Colbert, on Andrew Breitbart crashing the press conference.
If this guy wants to start fighting with me again, I have this photo. I'm not doing this for nefarious purposes.
—Andrew Breitbart, nefariously.
In other words, when you’re a certain kind of famous, there are a few things you’ve just got to give up in life – like uploading pictures of your dick, for instance, or tweet-herding hot twentysomething women by the hundreds. Is it really that hard to find other hobbies? Why do I feel like this kind of thing isn’t a problem for someone like Bernie Sanders?
President Obama. There’s no question about that.
—Haley Barbour, on who has done more damage to the gulf coast, him or BP.
It would be fine it I could just get a sentence out. I know you've got a lot of time to beat up on the President…
—Rep. Chaka Fattah (D, PA) to Neil Cavuto on Fox News.
If you are a blue collar, hourly worker and you're not the business owner, you're not going to take off or ask your boss to take off unpaid to go to a rally.
—Herman Cain, on why black Americans don't go to Tea Party rallies.
Make up your mind, Tea Party. Are they on welfare or aren't they?
Quote the Ravin', a weekly roundup of quotes from the internets, comes out every Tuesday afternoon.