I am surprised at the judgmental attitudes expressed on this site toward Anthony Weiner, not because he has hurt himself politically, but because he (didn't actually) cheat on his wife. Do any of us know if the Weiners are committed to monogamy? Really? Has either party confirmed monogamy to the press?
Because I haven't seen it, and I don't know. And a Jewish guy marrying a Muslim woman; they had to have had a few discussions before she brought him home to meet Daddy. I'm sorry, but the total condemnation around here because he "cheated", which he didn't, is just getting annoying.
I know nothing about the relationship between Congressman Weiner and his wife, so I won't assume anything about it. For all I know, they could be BDSM bisexual exhibitionists.AND I DON'T GIVE A DARN!
(shortstop!)
Look, monogamy is not natural to human beings, it's not natural to most mammals, birds, shellfish or other critters. My three graphs allowed from Sex at Dawn.
If we’re “above” nature, it’s only in the sense that a shaky-legged surfer is “above” the ocean. Even if we never slip (and we all do), our inner nature can pull us under at any moment. Those of us raised in the West have been assured that we humans are special, unique among living things, above and beyond the world around us, exempt from the humilities and humiliations that pervade and define animal life. The natural world lies below and beneath us, a cause for shame, disgust, or alarm; something smelly and messy to be hidden behind closed doors, drawn curtains, and minty freshness. Or we overcompensate and imagine nature floating angelically in soft focus up above, innocent, noble, balanced, and wise.
Like bonobos and chimps, we are the randy descendents of hypersexual ancestors. At first blush, this may seem an overstatement, but it’s a truth that should have become common knowledge long ago. Conventional notions of monogamous, till-death-do-us-part marriage strain under the dead weight of a false narrative that insists we’re something else. What is the essence of human sexuality and how did it get to be that way? In the following pages, we’ll explain how seismic cultural shifts that began about ten thousand years ago rendered the true story of human sexuality so subversive and threatening that for centuries it has been silenced by religious authorities, pathologized by physicians, studiously ignored by scientists, and covered up by moralizing therapists.
Deep conflicts rage at the heart of modern sexuality. Our cultivated ignorance is devastating. The campaign to obscure the true nature of our species’ sexuality leaves half our marriages collapsing under an unstoppable tide of swirling sexual frustration, libido-killing boredom, impulsive betrayal, dysfunction, confusion, and shame. Serial monogamy stretches before (and behind) many of us like an archipelago of failure: isolated islands of transitory happiness in a cold, dark sea of disappointment. And how many of the couples who manage to stay together for the long haul have done so by resigning themselves to sacrificing their eroticism on the altar of three of life’s irreplaceable joys: family stability, companionship, and emotional, if not sexual, intimacy? Are those who aspire to these joys cursed by nature to preside over the slow strangulation of their partner’s libido?
Please follow the link and read what else is on the website. And buy the book! Really.
Look, I left my last monogamous relationship in the early 1980s, which was a mistake, because my girlfriend at the time had been in non-monogamous relationships before, I was just a jerk. But leaving a woman who knew the best recipe for braised leg of lamb, and would fry up a whole pound of bacon as breakfast for 5? I wouldn't live in the South, but damn, they know how to feed you.
Sorry, where was I? Oh, yeah, Anthony Weiner. I don't know what he and his wife have agreed on, I know that if it's anything besides the Puritanical vision of marriage, that neither of them can say so now. I was non-monogamously married, we broke up for other reasons, all of my relationships since the early 80s has been non monogamous, which is a good thing. All of my porn work and most of my new dates have been arranged by people I was dating or people who knew people I was dating. ("Hey, you remember Xxxxx? She has a BDSM shoot on Saturday, and she wanted to know if you wanted to make $xxx.xx to basically tie her up and beat her. The director's cool, I've worked with him, but he really likes bruises at the end, and I said you were my guy. Call me!") At that time, my girlfriend was more than encouraging, she came along on the shoot, had a good time and had about four dates with my co-star.
My point is that the Mr. and Mrs. Weiner have a right to their private lives, may or may not have an understanding about monogamy, may or may not have issues with underwear pictures being tweeted to strangers. And it's none of our business.
What surprises me is the totally puritanical, judgmental attitude in more than one diary in many comments about monogamy, with the assumption that that's what the Weiners have agreed to when WE DON'T KNOW! And I really could not care any less.