As fervently as we all might be watching the NY State Senate in hopes that it will legalize same-sex marriage, the fact of the matter is that marriage equality as bestowed by a state is but a shadow of real equality.
Without the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), being married as a same-sex couple -- while symbolically extremely important and legally signficant statewide -- means that financial benefits such as Federal tax deductions and spousal Social Security payments, other benefits like one's ability to protect a foreign spouse from deportation, and a myriad of other federal laws aimed at married couples will nonetheless not be available. Nor will a same-sex marriage be recognized if a couple moves from one state with marriage equality to another state without marriage equality.
In my opinion, getting DOMA off the books is really the key to equality in the eyes of the law. How does that happen?
One path to getting rid of DOMA is through the courts. A Federal district court judge in Massachusetts has declared parts of DOMA unconstitutional in Gill.Twenty Federal bankruptcy judges recently declared that DOMA was unconstitutional -- at least as it pertained to bankruptcies involving state-recognized legally married same-sex couples. And other cases such as Golinski and Windsor are in the initial stages of going to trial.
That path is long and hard. The President's announcement that the Department of Justice would no longer defend these cases, while enthusiastically welcomed by equal rights advocates, has served to delay all of the proceedings by some months. There is really no reason to expect any DOMA case to reach the US Supreme Court until at least 2013 or more likely 2014, and then there is always the possibility of an adverse ruling.
The only other path lies through Congress. A fool's errand, you might think, what with a Republican House and a Senate which cannot debate whether to begin debate on whether to fart and chew gum without getting 60 votes. Still, the House, as we have seen lately, can swing wildly from Republican to Democrat (2006), back to Republican (2010) and perhaps back again. And progress has and continues to be made! Over half (27) of Democratic Senators now support the Senate's Respect For Marriage Act, S.598, which repeals DOMA. More than 60% of all Democratic Representatives are now co-sponsors of the House version of the bill, HR 1116, and some who aren't co-sponsors likely support it.
As public opinion continues to shift in the direction of fairness and equality, we can expect more members of Congress to co-sponsor the bill or come out in favor of repeal. As more states, especially big states like New York, California and New Jersey, realize marriage equality, the absurdity of not having Federal and interstate recognition for these marriages will grow. As this momentum builds, we can expect hearings to be conducted in the Senate and, if Democrats can retake the House in November of 2012, there as well, with all the attendant publicity. As public awareness of the funadmental unfairness of DOMA continues to rise, we may even see a few Republicans willing to put politics aside and support repeal. And then, as with Don't Ask, Don't Tell, who knows what's possible?
The fact of the matter is that it is foolish to put one's faith in the Supreme Court. See, for example Don't Look to the Courts as an Engine of Social Change. One might as well put all of one's eggs in one frittata. The goal of getting rid of DOMA and bringing equal protection under the law into reality needs to be pursued by all means possible, not just judicially but legislatively and in the court of public opinion.
So while your stomach is tied in knots, waiting for the NY Legislature to either do something historic and amazing or crush hope, what can you do?
Step 1a: Go here, and see if your Congressperson is on the list of co-sponsors.
Step 1b: If not, call them up (you can use this site, or the official one) and ask them whether they support HR 1116.
Step 1c: If they say they do support repeal, thank them and let us know -- finding another supporter would be great news, and who knows, you might be the first person to find out! If they have no position, ask as a constituent that they support the bill. And if they do not support repeal, give them a (respectful) earful.
Step 2: Go here, and see if your Senators are on the list of co-sponsors (unless your Senator is Amy Klobuchar, who does support repeal but is not a co-sponsor). If either is not, given them a call about S.598 using the official contact site or this site and proceed as in Step 1c.
Getting more US Senators to co-sponsor or come out in support of the bill is especially useful now, as it is possible that the Senate Judiciary Committee could hold hearings on S.598 later this year.
Here's my list of US Senators who certainly should be, but are not, supporters yet:
-- Mark Begich (Alaska) 202-224-3004
-- Joe Lieberman (Connecticut) 202-224-4041
-- Tom Carper (Delaware) 202-224-2441
-- Susan Collins (Maine) 202-224-2523
-- Scott Brown (Massachusetts) 202-224-4543
-- Claire McCaskill (Missouri) 202-224-6154
-- Jon Tester (Montana) 202-224-3644
-- Bob Menendez (New Jersey) 202-224-4744
-- Harry Reid (Nevada) 202-224-3542
-- Jeff Bingaman (New Mexico) 202-224-5521
-- Kay Hagan (North Carolina) 202-224-6342
-- Bob Casey (Pennsylvania) 202-224-6324
-- Jack Reed (Rhode Island) 202-224-4642
-- Tim Johnson (South Dakota) 202-224-5842
-- Bernie Sanders (Vermont) 202-224-5141
Can we get any of them onboard?