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You just wanted a burger.

But that requires cows and cows require corn and corn requires phosphates and phosphates leach into the water and the water reaches the gulf and the gulf becomes a big dead zone and millions of fish die.

Or cows require pasture which requires deforestation which shrinks the rain forest which means erosion of the soil and species loss and release of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere leading eventually to climate change and droughts and floods and, ironically enough, starvation when the crops fail.

Meanwhile those cows are eliminating millions of tons of waste packed with deadly e. coli daily even though they're regularly dosed with a steady supply of human-grade antibiotics, which you eventually eat, that barely keeps them alive long enough to reach the slaughterhouse before their livers fail from being force-fed a delightful hash of corn and ground-up cow remains.

But you just wanted one little burger. No harm done, right?

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