After weeks of speculation, Republican ownership pulled the trigger today on a multi-player deal, sending fire-and-brimstone-throwing ace Glenn Beck to Israel (along with several minor league prospects) for star slugger Binyamin Netanyahu.
The deal – the terms of which have yet to be released – finally gives the GOP the far-right-handed cleanup hitter they've desperately been looking for as the 2012 season approaches, and analysts are praising the move by General Manager Eric Cantor as shrewd.
Republicans hope to wrest the North American pennant away from DNC-owned Team U.S.A, led by the steady presence of manager Barack Obama and their fiery, unpredictable shortstop, Shoeless Joe Biden.
Speculation about a possible deal began to swirl weeks ago after Netanyahu, who pitched a complete-game shutout against Barack Obama's U.S. squad in Congress Stadium, was praised by GOP lawmakers, some of whom couldn't help but give him several standing ovations during the game.
GOP scout, Jack Kelly, praised the deal, touting Netanyahu's "experience" and "impressive...record" while Bryan Preston of Pajama Media wrote of Netanyahu after the deal went through, "This is what a leader looks like."
Israel, for its part, has been looking for an opportunity to offload Netanyahu's costly, multi-year contract, unhappy with the Prime Minister's lack of production in the middle of the lineup and the (diplomatic) debt the slugger's contract has saddled the team with.
Some analysts view the move as a sign that Israel has given up on this season, and believe Israel won't be making a September run for the Middle East pennant as their rivals, Team Palestine, eye postseason play at the U.N.
However, some view the trade otherwise, arguing that Israel, which has been in desperate need of new blood in the governing rotation, will be buoyed by the hard-right-throwing Beck, who plans to meet with Knesset members in a matter of daysto discuss his place in Israel's rotation.
Conservative Knesset member Danny Dannon, who authorized the deal, has long been a fan of Beck's brazen style and defensive posture on the mound. "It’s good that Israel has talented friends that can contribute to our...efforts," Dannon told a gaggle of media at a hastily-convened press conference.
The GOP also threw in pitching prospects Tim Pawlenty and Michele Bachmann, who will join Israel's AAA club, the Brooklyn Badgers, with potential call ups to the big leagues after July's trade deadline.
Pawlenty, a side-arm pitcher from Minnesota, appeared ecstatic about his new team at a press conference held today in front of the Council on Foreign Relations, and wasted no time appealing to Israel's conservative fan-base by sounding like a Likudnick when he blasting U.S.A.'s manager, Barack Obama:
"It breaks my heart that Obama treats Israel, our great friend, as a problem, rather than as an ally," Pawlenty said, referencing the two teams' long-standing tradition of awarding each other forfeited victories during difficult times in the season, a tradition Obama has shown a willingness to forgo.
Michele Bachmann, a knuckleballer of biblical proportions, couldn't be reached for comment, and her handlers sent out a terse statement:
We don't know where Michele Bachmann is.