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So shortly after I posted this diary, my family doctor's office called to say they had received my CT scans from the hospital taken on Sunday night and they looked clear.  The receptionist was kind of surprised I wanted to come in and get checked out, but knowing time is of the essence in these types of matters, I was able to get an appointment for only four hours after I posted that diary.  Feels like maybe I started this diary thing prematurely (insert dirty joke here; my brain feels like water and I'm not feeling so witty right now to come up with a good one so just pick your personal favorite).

So what did my family doc say?  Well he is a very smart man and he knew right away what was going on.

I explained everything that happened in detail and the varying degrees of how I felt immediately after, two hours after, six hours after, etc.  Basically just gave him a timeline of when certain symptoms set in, when they felt worse, what aggravated them, etc.  He was very quick to identify what I'm suffering from as post-concussive syndrome, PCS for short.  It doesn't happen very often, and there is no clear reason as to why some people get PCS and others don't--one thing that worries me simply because one of my direct bosses at my M-F job had a concussion a few months ago and only took three days off of work, and she worked from home those three days.  So I'm afraid people will think I'm milking it because it's worker's comp, or I'm just lazy, or a sissy, or whatever.  I even asked my doctor about this but he reiterated that my injury is very serious and he specifically told me to not try to be a tough guy about it and say I'm okay if I don't feel well.

Additionally, the speech thing I mentioned?  Well I can think/type/write no problem, but when I'm speaking I know what I want to say but the words escape me.  My doctor was able to identify this as expressive aphasia, and while it is much more common in stroke victims it is not unheard of for those suffering from a concussion to have this as well.  He said it could last a few days, weeks, or months, and might never go away entirely.  Because of this and the PCS he is going to get me into a neurologist ASAP.  However we have to wait for some paperwork with Ohio Bureau of Worker's Comp to go through because you can only have one doctor and since I reported the incident at the ER my ER doctor was my worker's comp doctor by default.  Yay, paperwork net to capture sweet little dolphins like myself, awesome!

So my doctor was all "I don't want you doing ANYTHING, and especially not driving," so he wrote me a note (that sounds so high school) to stay home from work for two weeks.  It has been two days and I am already going crazy.  When you work seven days a week and suddenly you have nowhere to be and you can't go anywhere, it's weird.  I have a thousand things I can do, of course, but not being on a tight schedule is so... foreign to me.  In addition I am having trouble sleeping so last night--excuse me, this morning I didn't fall asleep until after 6am.  With a brain injury I'm kind of afraid to take any kind of sleeping meds, so bad me for not doing so but what can I say, I'm kinda paranoid about these things.  The good news is my M-F employer agrees and doesn't want me doing anything until I am cleared 100% to go back to work.  It's nice to have a job where my boss doesn't call me stupid or lazy or tell me to suck it up or yell at me for calling the squad when a girl almost sliced her thumb off and was on blood pressure meds so she needed that one medication to stop the bleeding.

But I digress.

So how are things going today?  The dizziness comes and goes, and sometimes it's so bad I can't walk.  Generally my head feels full of water (well duh it IS full of water Silvia!) and it sloshes around funny when I walk and it makes me feel like I'm getting dragged down in weird directions.  I keep thinking as I'm reading and writing that I'm getting over the expressive aphasia but then somebody calls me and I'm at a loss for words again.  It's discouraging.  I am a huge nerd and have never been an athlete and the thought that something is wrong with my brain is both incredibly frustrating and incredibly frightening.  

Lastly, the one thing that sucks?  I have three cats and a dog, and while I love them dearly, I don't live with any other people so I have nobody to run to the grocery for milk for me, goddamnit.  My mom has next week off for the holiday and some of her vacation days, so she will come over Sunday night and stay several days, but I only have a quarter of a gallon of milk and it's like, the only thing I drink and I will not make it to tomorrow.  I am also running out of toilet paper and have no Q-tips.  Totally random to mention but damnit my ears are dirty and just because I'm resting doesn't mean I stop crapping.

What a way to end a diary, self!  ::thumbs up::

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