Hi everyone. I haven’t been around much lately, but I wanted to relay an urgent request from the White House Staff (hey - I’m very connected to very important people, dontcha know):
Can anyone provide the complete lyrics to the song Kumbayah?
You see, when Obama met with the Republicans last week, he suggested they all hold hands and sing Kumbayah – proposing that maybe this would help everyone reach a debt-ceiling deal.
Cantor replied that they would all be really delighted to all sing Kumbayah with him, but – unfortunately – they just didn’t know the words.
(Boehner seemed to choke a little on his gin and tonic when Cantor said this - some even came up through his nose, which was strange.)
Anyway, Obama promised to send them the words, so that they could memorize them and be ready to sing the next time they get together.
Ironically, it turns out that Obama doesn’t know the words himself! (How amazing is that?)
And it turns out that none of the former corporate lobbyists on his staff know the words, either!
Can anybody help? (You have to figure that everyone on a site like Daily Kos knows Kumbayah and sings it regularly, right?)
Obama really has played the debt ceiling negotiations brilliantly. By adopting Republican rhetoric over the last two years about belt tightening, austerity, and the stimulative impacts of reduced taxes on billionaires, he has them feeling completely relaxed and copacetic. When he’s earnestly come so far to meet them, its only natural that they will reciprocate and reach out to meet him – and a nice round of Kumbayah could be just the thing to help cement a great deal!
Then, after that, he will finally be able to pursue that progressive agenda he talked about so much back in 2008. (Remember 2008? Those rallies were great!)
It will all be really swell.
Plus the Republicans said they would give him some shiny marbles (steelies!) and bubblegum baseball cards - and be his best friends (which everyone needs, and lord knows his old supposed friends on the professional left never want to come out and hit the links with him these days) - once he comes to an agreement.
So if anyone can provide the Kumbayah lyrics, it will really help.
We’ll finally be able to get over this budget hump to create business confidence so that all those big multinational companies will start investing their swelling mountains of cash in new US-based business ventures. Lord knows there’s only so much they can shovel into executive bonuses and political contributions, and they’re just sick of channeling those dollars they have been investing into Mexico, China, Vietnam, Guatemala, etc.
Corporate executives are really hankering these days to create a bunch of high-paying jobs for middle class workers right here in the US (past outsourcing, union-busting, and off-shoring trends, aside) just as soon as they have confidence their 6% corporate tax rates (after loopholes) won’t go up to cover the gaping budget hole left by the Bush tax cuts that further boosted their soaring individual incomes.
Or something. It all makes complete sense in the end. Even Obama agrees.
Oh – and I’m sure that for the people that provide the Kumbayah lyrics, Obama’s campaign staff will be happy to enter them into a random 10,000-entry drawing to have dinner with him (what a thrill that would be!) - though you might also have to make a financial contribution (there's a firewall separating White House political activity from policy activity dontcha know).
Thanks in advance!