The GOP is fond of saying that the government should manage its finances the way families do. That is, we should spend within our means.
But what if families managed their finances the way the GOP wants to manage the federal budget.
Let's set the scene: Mr. and Mrs. Average Folks have a big credit card bill. They've been borrowing from their 401k's to keep up with the payments. Their employers don't offer a health care benefit, so they have private health insurance, for which they pay through the nose.
The credit card minimum payments use up most their paychecks. It's getting harder to buy food for the kids and keep current on the mortgage.
One day, Mr. Folks comes home from work and gather's the family.
"It's bad news," he says sadly.
"Oh NOES!" The children cry in unison. "You've been laid off!"
Mr. Folks shakes his head.
"Worse. My boss, Mr. Taxes, says he wants to give me a raise."
"WHAT??!!!?" the rest of the family cries in outrage.
Mrs. Folks shakes her head.
"That bastard! Doesn't he know that more money coming in would enslave us?"
Mr. Folks nods.
"I told him to (BEEP) off! I will not accept more money. No way."
"Right on, Dad!" the children cry.
"We're going to beat this," Mr. Folks says. "To start with, you kids will be getting 30% less food."
"Yay!" the children cry. "You can't be too thin!"
"That's the spirit," Mr. Folks says. "And we're going to drop our health insurance. From now on, you kids aren't going to get sick."
"Way to go, Dad!" Tiny Tim says, pumping his fist. "I hate going to the doctor. And it's so inspiring for other people when they see me hobbling around on my crutch. It's a win-win!"
Mrs. Folks gets into the spirit.
"And I'll stop filling my birth control prescription. That'll save us some money!"
"Good thinking, dear!" Mr. Folks says. "And since we're canceling our cable TV, we'll have plenty of time to make more kids!"
"Yay!" the children shout. "More kids to fight over that 30% less food!"
"I told my boss, Mr. Taxes, to take that money he wanted to give me and give it to an oil company, or someone really rich. Rich people can handle money. It won't ruin them like it would us."
"Good thinking, dear," Mrs. Folks beams. "I'm so proud!"
"Here's the best part, honey," Mr. Folks says, fairly bursting with pride. "We're creating jobs! Since they eased the child labor laws, all our kids will be able to get jobs at the mill. I hear they're paying pennies an hour for 12-15 hour days. If all the kids pull extra long shifts, we may be able to keep the house heated this winter!"
Mrs. Folks frowns. "But that would be more revenue..."
"It's OK," Mr. Folks says. "It will be sweatshop wages, just like in Singapore!"
A slow smile breaks out across Mrs. Folks face.
"Like Singapore! Or maybe even Malaysia! It'll be just like taking a 'round the world vacation!"
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READ MY LIPS: No "grand" deal without revenue increases!