This evening, my daughters demanded ice cream after dinner, to which I replied, "Clean your room and we'll talk." But my eldest daughter, seeing an opening, offered, "We'll clean our room later if you'll give us ice cream now. Promise."
I considered.
We were already at the table. And it would have been difficult to get them to clean their rooms anyway, ice cream or not. And so I reasoned, thinking silently, Hmm, well, who knows? Maybe the ice cream will give them enough energy to pick up their dirty socks and put away the Monopoly board.
So we made a deal: ice cream now, cleaning later. And do you know where they are at this moment?
Out with their mother buying more ice cream! (We didn't have enough to satisfy everyone's after-dinner cravings.)
Yes, I'm the caver-in-chief.
Oh, and in case you're wondering, it's not the first time I've gone spelunking.
Last year, my wife and I were divvying up the duties, trying to re-negotiate the way in which we provided "services" around the house. I took cooking, cleaning the kitchen, garbage and watering the garden. She took laundry, cleaning the bathrooms, and putting the kids to bed (which, just so you know, is no simple task – the routine is almost as complex as a cloture vote).
But there was one issue we couldn't resolve, my wife and I: grocery shopping. See, I had promised my children that, in our negotiations, I would include what I called the Publix option.
What's this, you ask? See, my kids love to swim on the weekends, but my wife doesn't really enjoy the activity as much as the rest of us. So I told them that, whenever their mother went grocery shopping, which would give us default time together, we would use that time to go swimming at the pool in our neighborhood, which would be perfect.
But when I got to the negotiations, and I brought up the Publix option (as promised), she threatened to walk out on the negotiations. It was either her or the Publix option.
Even though I knew it was a bluff, I chose her. After all, it was best for the family.
And while it might have been the right thing to do, one thing is undeniable: I am the Caver-in-Chief.