Thank you for covering up that oil spill in the Gulf. That was so awesome, cause, like, if people really knew how bad that was, then they might oppose your plan to open up offshore drilling and like, our gas prices might go up even higher than they already will.
Oh, and pretending to swim in the Gulf to create the false impression the water is safe, that was super cool. But not as cool as showing those nasty journalist who's boss. Get 'em BP. Keeping our oil safe to drink!!!
And I think it's heroic the way you protected the Banking Mafia from prosecution and bankruptcy. People just don't understand how hard it is to be leaders of a crime syndicate. All that cocaine floating around everywhere. Fast cars. Beautiful women. How is one to concentrate on ethics and the law in that environment? You can't.
SO you came to the mat as always Mr President, with that $16 trillion dollars in secret payments to foreign banks. That's $120,000 of my tax payer dollars well spent on my and my children's behalf. Thank you. You single handedly saved the financial economy.
And thank you for keeping those torture prisons open, and generally, all you've done in the war on terror. You are awesome, the way you shoot those drones missiles. Kaboom! Buh bye terrorist. And terrorist's mother. Brother. Two children. Aunt. Three neighbors. They'll be giving up any day now. I know it.
And thank you thank you thank you for finally getting entitlements on the chopping block. Who knew it would take a Democrat(;) to pull that off. After all, the poor and the elderly are the problem. Do you think they know it? Regardless, they need to stop expecting a free lunch I think. They should have been producers, of something of value, like derivative formulas or methods for setting up shell corporations and hiding assets and losses.
And finally, though I could go on and on and on, thank you, thank you, thank you, for finally giving one to those horrible progressives. They think they're so smart, with all their accurate predictions about the failures of globalization, trade liberalization, banking deregulation, the war on terror, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, nuclear energy, the privatization of government services, energy policy written by energy lobbyists, and all that other stuff they were right about.
No one likes a know it all. So toocheee Mr President. You r awesome.