Rational people everywhere are applauding the Department of Health and Human Services’ announcement that, beginning next August, private insurance companies must include no-cost birth control in their health insurance policies. A narrow exception has been carved out for religious groups opposed to birth control and the “culture of death” that HHS is ostensibly promoting. But the collective God Squad, most notably all groups Catholic, claims the exception is too exclusive to be of practical use.
But why should anybody be exempted? Sure, Catholics, Inc. is absolutely opposed to birth control. So don’t use it. This law offers people what is a legal option. Will most Catholics take advantage of that choice? No. That’s fine, it’s a free country. Which is the whole point!
We should appreciate how the government is, mostly, looking out for our freedom, even if caving in to the Jesus contingent’s self-declared right to unwanted pregnancy. With all due respect to God, who one might actually call the original Godfather of Unplanned Pregnancy (and the poor, swindled Virgin Mary didn’t even get so much as one toe-curling orgasm in exchange for her unwanted pregnancy), this is a good thing for everyone.
By mandating contraceptive availability there will be fewer unplanned pregnancies, fewer abortions, and our deficit hawks should appreciate the money saved by our social welfare services in light of these and other practical benefits of increased use of birth control.
Nobody wants to say it out loud, but our government should avail itself of some more legal options at its legislative disposal. Optional birth control is a very important first step but it’s just that: an opening move. This financially and morally bankrupt nation needs more than a mandatory option. Compulsory birth control is the next logical step in the United States’ evolution into a more intelligently designed place to live.
All women of child-bearing age should begin each and every day with a requisite birth control pill. The human culture has come so, so far over the course of mankind, and the richest country in the history of the planet is positioned to lead the next revolution making every single pregnancy a planned, wanted, happy one.
Are you ready for kids? Great. Apply for a birth control waiver, and you could be one interview away from motherhood. Head down to city hall to justify why you are ready, willing, and able to start a family (or continue one; maybe you’re applying for your second or third child).
This is the government’s most sacred new responsibility, and we must not have the wrong people reproducing. America is nothing if not a land of great opportunity. But it is also a land of great stupidity, and the millions of morons waking up each day have been holding us back for far too long. On another note, obesity is not a crime in this country any more than stupidity is. But you can forget about passing on those genes.
Social engineering has generally ranged from the ghastly to the ineffective (see China’s “Great Leap Forward” and our own “War on Drugs”). But American exceptionalism is not to be overlooked and the amalgamation of intellectual and technological progress has led us directly to this brink of cultural greatness.
“I’ve been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding,” observed rock band Harvey Danger. Not in this country, they aren’t. We are one well-executed generation from the elimination of the American proletariat.