President Obama's 50th birthday was last Thursday. For his gift, NPR host Peter Sagal quipped that the president's daughters wanted to get him a tie, but the president insisted on a new iPod. After days of intense negotiations with his daughters, he got a tie.
It's not true, of course. But it's funny because it could be.
Cross-posted on The Stormtrooper Lounge.
Like many Americans I am disappointed with the recent debt-ceiling deal. More pointedly, I am disappointed at the president's seeming lack of ability to stand firm in the face of Republican intransigence. I get that he had a weak hand. The president's primary objective — to prevent default at all cost — did not leave him much room to maneuver against an extremist Tea Party element who not only do not care if the United States defaults on its debts, but actually welcome it. These people, who as Matt Taibbi put it, cannot tell "the difference between Soviet communism and a Stafford loan," believe that by bankrupting the government they can finally defeat the evil of socialism once and for all. Then we can all hold hands (well, not the men, because that would be gay) and stride boldly toward our glorious libertarian future, where you are only entitled to what you are strong (or rich) enough to take. And somewhere in the great beyond, Barry Goldwater wipes away a single, poignant tear.
At least that's the idea. Frankly, I think the Tea Party has misread history. Or, more correctly, I think they're oblivious to it. They live in a fantasy world where Ozzie & Harriet weren't television characters, they were real life people who lived next door to them, right on the corner of Ignorance and Delusion. I think we should have let the debt ceiling expire, not because it would lead to the ascension of the conservative movement, but because it would be its death knell. But that's a topic for another screed.
The Big Crisis was averted. At least for now. In the end, our leaders did what they always do — squabbled like petulant children until the last possible minute, then cobbled together a half-assed solution that lets us limp on for another few months until the next big fight. Of course, in the process they held the world economy hostage, and for that display of brinkmanship we have been rewarded by having the nation's credit rating downgraded from a superb AAA to a merely outstanding AA+. This, of course, is one of the first signs of the coming Apocalypse, as outlined in the Book of Macroeconomics.
All of this reflects badly on the president, deservedly so or not. But I bet Mitt Romney is smiling. If anyone stands to benefit from the recent economic turmoil, it's the man from MassaUtahMichigan. His background as a corporate raider and all-around douchebag may not endear him to those of us with a brain in our heads, but to the slavering masses he may look like a fiscal savior descended from on high to save the country. Magic underwear and all. As a successful (read: rapacious) businessman, it's not hard to imagine the electorate being fooled into thinking he knows what he's talking about when it comes to the economy. The fact that he's non-threateningly handsome, has nice hair, and is so white his skin flakes off Wonder Bread doesn't hurt either. And, lest we forget, he Saved The Olympics.
I'm not saying he's a lock. The election is still a long way off, and a lot can (and undoubtedly will) happen between now and then. He still faces a tough battle for his party's nomination (although I believe he will ultimately win it). And Barack Obama hss proven himself to be a formidable campaigner. But it's telling that in the most recent polls Romney is neck and neck with the president, better than any other serious GOP contender. If the economy continues to falter, if the president continues to look weak, it's possible to see how Mitt Romney could chart a successful course for the White House. Call it the triumph of bland ambition.