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From the Records of AmeriCo Industries:
The Bill of Rights
Amendment I
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of any religion but Christianity, or prohibiting the free exercise of any non-different religion; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, unless any of the above make the majority feel uncomfortable.
Amendment II
THE RIGHT OF THE PEOPLE TO KEEP AND BEAR ARMS SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED! SIC SEMPOR TYRANNIS!
Amendment III
The government shall do whatever it deems necessary in the name of National Security. Anyone who makes grievance against this is a terrorist.
Amendment IV
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized, unless said person is clearly guilty in which case the guilty should not be coddled and protected.
Amendment V
No innocent person shall be held without indictment; nor be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor be compelled to be a witness against himself; nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall corporate property be taken for public use, without just compensation; except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger, or if the person is clearly guilty and there is not enough evidence to convict them.
Amendment VI
In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, unless a member of an unpopular segment of the population or the evidence has been coerced, and then they shall be held indefinitely without trial or tried in secret.
Amendment VII
In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, no corporate entity shall be held liable for punitive damages, nor shall legal actions be allowed to be brought forth in concert with others.
Amendment VIII
Excessive bail shall be required, or excessive fines imposed, or cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.
Amendment IX
The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people, chief among them, the right to privacy.
Amendment X
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, unless such powers shall be used to facilitate policies that make people uncomfortable.
Originally posted on www.EntertainedOrganizer.com