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When I was young I awaited the knight in shining armor who would grab me up and take me to the eternal kingdom of Bliss.  That happened, but yet it didn't, I found out later...much later.

So today I think of how my life has turned out so differently than what I dreamed for it.

I grieve for my mess-ups, but then I see how my life has still managed to be pretty darn good.

We will always have regrets, but even with the regrets, we can see blessings that make the regrets bearable, and sometimes the blessings are much more powerful!

I wish more than anything that my marriage would have lasted til happily after after.

However, I'm thankful that my marriage of 42 years has ended.

I wish that I had worked for companies that paid into a pension fund for me and would have helped me pay more into Social Security.

However, I am thankful that I was able to contribute with my talents to help hungry people, for children at-risk, for our environment in my non-profit employment.

I wish I had limited the size of my family.

However, I will be eternally thankful for such wonderful marvelous and productive children God gave us.

I wish that my Catholic Christian faith would have been really "the one true faith that Christ handed down through St. Peter."

However, I am thankful that God gave me a brain and a conscience to help me find a spiritual path that is more right for me.

I wish I had majored in something in college that would have led on to more plentiful jobs with a future.

However, I am thankful for the opportunity and the grace to be the first in my family to graduate from a four-year university with a degree in mass communications.

I am ashamed that today my financial situation has led me to a one-room apartment with bath and community kitchen.

But how I marvel at my little cell that brings me solitude and a simple life while enjoying the benefits of community among five other "householders."

I am sad when I think of all the friends I have left behind in Kingsport and Knoxville.

But oh how thankful I am to be in a town like Asheville just over the mountain where there is plenty of room for diverse opinions and lots of new friends.

I hate that jobs I loved ended....far too many times.

However, I am thankful I found courage to finally have the guts to work for myself as a doula, an ordained minister and photographer.

I hate that my childhood is one of years of sad memories associated with family and school life.

But I am thankful for the opportunity to have experienced farm life, to have eaten fresh produce and known everyone in town.

My life reminds me of the verses from Ecclesiastes 3 in the Old Testament.

 

1 There is a time for everything,
   and a season for every activity under the heavens:
 2 a time to be born and a time to die,
   a time to plant and a time to uproot,
 3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
   a time to tear down and a time to build,
 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
   a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
 6 a time to search and a time to give up,
   a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
   a time to be silent and a time to speak,
 8 a time to love and a time to hate,
   a time for war and a time for peace.

Life is truly a paradox and a drama of opposites.

Originally posted to people power granny on Sun Aug 14, 2011 at 06:53 PM PDT.

Also republished by Spiritual Organization of Unapologetic Liberals at Daily Kos and Street Prophets .

Poll

What do you regret most in your life

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5%1 votes
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| 18 votes | Vote | Results

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Comment Preferences

  •  I have no regrets (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    notdarkyet, mapamp, rebel ga, Wee Mama

    The good, the bad and the ugly made me who I am today. And I'm pretty damn good. :)
    One is true though, my life didn't turn out to be what I wanted it to be... but there is still time and I'm not done yet.

    Muslims, Christians we're all Egyptians.

    by mint julep on Sun Aug 14, 2011 at 07:35:52 PM PDT

  •  I like to say (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    mint julep, mapamp, rebel ga, Wee Mama

    "I've had an interesting life."
     Lot's good, lot's bad, some horrific, some glorious, some easy, some hard...pretty much everything. It's been interesting to say the least.
    But the best part? I felt it all. Nothing trumps that. Even when the emotional pain was burning hotter than a thousand suns...I persevered. When the Bliss was greater than I could comprehend, I soaked up every drop. And every thing in between? More of the things life is made of.

    Certainly, if I had a 'do-over', I'd change a thing or 2. But I don't regret a single thing I've done. I own all of it--it is what has made me who I am. And I'm awesome. Just like you.

    "The better I know people, the more I like my dog."

    by Thinking Fella on Sun Aug 14, 2011 at 07:53:39 PM PDT

  •  Thank you for this. (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    mapamp, Wee Mama

    It was heartfelt and moving.  I have the same sadness about being a Fallen Away Catholic.  Even though I criticize The Church and sometimes laugh about its dogmas and rituals, I know I'm missing something because I'm no longer part of it.

  •  Details vs Themes. Details?-- Thousands. (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    mapamp, Wee Mama

    Major themes and courses, none.

    At the end of the day, all I had to play from in this life was the family circumstances and brain and motivation I was born into. While I could have made a million choices differently, I don't see how outside judges could have found any of them to be importantly better than what I did.

    As to white knights, I recommend the original late 60's version of the Youtube-unavailable Judy Collins song that  iTunes has, "Albatross."

    Speaking of Ecclesiastes 3, I'll offer a related pair of phrases:

    "turn, turn, turn" and "I swear it's not too late."

    We are called to speak for the weak, for the voiceless, for victims of our nation and for those it calls enemy.... --ML King "Beyond Vietnam"

    by Gooserock on Sun Aug 14, 2011 at 08:21:37 PM PDT

  •  God's Divine Contingency Plan (0+ / 0-)

    A lot of things in my life that I count as blessings are things I would never (or perhaps it would be better to say might never) have gotten if not for the mistakes I've made along the way.

    This has led me to believe that what some people refer to as "God's Divine Plan" is really a contingency plan.  God permits good things to happen, even when I mess up on my end.  Which is a good thing, because I tend to mess up a lot.  (just ask my wife, who is btw one of those blessings).

    "All the World's a Stage and Everyone's a Critic." -- Mervyn Alquist

    by quarkstomper on Mon Aug 15, 2011 at 06:09:56 PM PDT

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