There's really not much for me to add to this -- the Philadelphia Daily News's Ronnie Polaneczky today takes us down the shore to Somers Point, NJ, where Alix Genter visited the Here Comes The Bride salon to try on dresses for her upcoming wedding. Her mom and dad were there, along with an aunt, a cousin and two friends of the family.
And it all went great -- until a few days later, when salon owner Donna Saber looked at Alix's customer information sheet and realized -- gasp! -- she's a lesbian!, and had crossed out the word "groom" and written "partner" instead, and filling in her fiancée's name. Donna called Alix on the phone, and now I'll let Polaneczky take over:
"She said she wouldn't work with me because I'm gay," you recalled. "She also said that I came from a nice Jewish family, and that it was a shame I was gay. She said, 'There's right, and there's wrong. And this is wrong.' "
She also said - and you have the voicemail to prove it - that what you were planning was "illegal" and that "we do not participate in any illegal actions."
"I was devastated," you told me. "I was crying. I called her a bigot; I told her, 'I am a happy person and you are a miserable person.' Then she hung up on me."
Surely, you can imagine, upon being called by a major-city newspaper columnist Ms. Saber would have something intelligent to say in her defense, right? Or maybe even back down a little? Um, not exactly.
When I called Donna yesterday to get her side of the story, she both confirmed your version of events and accused you of "stirring up drama." She said that your writing the word "partner" was basically a provocation, evidence of a need "to show that she's different."
"They get that way," she told me.
By "they," she meant women who were fed up with men because "men can be difficult," and so now they "experiment" with female relationships because they're tired of having men boss them around.
She told me about a friend whose wife left him for another woman. And about a young family member who was molested by a same-sex adult male. And about a gay man who once plunged a knife into a chair in the restaurant where she worked. And - she finally lost me here - something about the Navy SEALs.
"It's a lot of drama," she said.
She also found you "aggressive," didn't appreciate your cursing and thought I should speak with your father before writing this column, as she "sensed" his disappointment in your decision to marry a woman.
What can you do? How about calling the bridal shop at (609) 926-0699 and letting them know how you feel about their bigotry? How about making them feel some shame?
And one more thing: New Jersey amended its civil rights statutes in 1991 to include sexual orientation, and as the NJ Attorney General's website confirms:
It is unlawful for a person to refuse to buy from, sell to, contract or otherwise do business with an individual because of the individual's race, creed, color, national origin, nationality, ancestry, marital status, domestic partnership or civil union status, liability for service in the Armed Forces of the United States, age, sex, affectional or sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, or disability or because of race, creed, national origin or other protected characteristics of the person's spouse, partners, employees, business associates, suppliers or customers.
This story may be far from over.
UPDATED: Did you want to hear the voicemail message which Donna Saber left for Alix Genter? I thought so.