Yes it's that time folks, time for the first of many reviews of what the knuckle dragging inbreds have for us this campaign season.
.............and here we go............
Mitt Romney :
Trying to be everything to everyone only works when your voting base is sane. Hard to appeal to Wall Street at the same time you're kissing the ass of illiterate morons who are hoarding potatoes for the end times. He also is a member of a 'cult'. Perfect hair aside, Romney is so flawed as GOP candidate that the powers that be are desperate to find him with a live boy. or a dead girl. They have almost as much hatred for Mitt as they do for Bachmann.
Nuff said, ain't gonna win nuthin'............
Michelle Bachman :
Iowa straw poll 'diva'. and nuttier than fruitcake. She is all wound up about the 'End Tines', while her hubby works tirelessly to 'Pray Away The Gay'. If there is a more delusional, batsh!t crazy member of the GOP, well that person will likely be her 'proposed' VP choice. If she could be classified as a 'serious' candidate, and I have my doubts, the GOP is in worse shape than I thought.
NFW................ain't going to anything but piss off Sarah Palin.
Newt :
The perpetual pile of sh!t just keeps plugging away. Newt Inc. is sort of the Grateful Dead of GOP politics. A cottage industry churning out books, videos and assorted other items to fund the ol' ladies Tiffany's habit. Nobody thinks he has a chance, but then again, it's about selling stuff, not actually winning a race. Newt thinks Corporations should set their own tax rates..........ugh right lizard breath.
Garbage.............after sitting in the sun over a hot weekend.
Rick Perry:
If GWB had a lobotomy and packed an ivory handled pistol (like Patton) you'd have a hard time telling him apart from Perry. Secessionist talking, prayer service leading, minimum wage job creatin', budget balancing, (with stimulus funds he swore he'd never take) Perry is as close to an intellectual wasteland as they come. Perfect for Texas, where he will stay. Teaching creationism will stay in the Lone Star State. Bruce Bartlett called Perry an idiot, he must have been feeling charitable that day.
Rick Santorum :
Google Santorum...................need I say more ? Man on dog, whatever is sort of about ...........man on dog and other pressing social issues.
Whatever.............
Gary Johnson :
Ron Paul lite. If you like your libertarian views espoused by an unknown with little chance of going anywhere, he's yer man.
John Hunstman :
Likes Captain Beefheart, and is sane.
.............so he'll never get out the primaries..........Too bad, he's essentially a decent, intelligent, hard working moderate with a sense of duty and responsibility sorely lacking in the modern day GOP.
Herman Cain :
Token Negro................. just proves the 'big tent' theory...........as long as he stays in the back (of the field) he'll be fine. Couldn't make any headway after a decent first debate, and now he's lost in the miasma of morons that the GOP field has turned into. Lost what little 'mo' he gained there, and so it's over for him.
Ron Paul :
Mr Gold Standard isolationist, darling of the 'let's try something new' crowd. Seeing as he is giving up his House seat, this will be his last campaign for anything. Shame he's going out with a loss here, but he can use the Newt model, and become a cottage industry selling books and such. Soon the mantle will be picked up by his son, Rand, and we'll have at a minimum 5 more years of Paul family delusional rantings. I may have to go back to 'Agua Buddah'............
Fred Karger :
He's gay................should play well in South Carolina, Iowa, and so forth. Gotta hand it to him though, he's self funding at 250k a month, and like Huntsman is sane. It's the sane part that counts him out, the whole gay thing the primary voters might overlook if he was batsh!t crazy like .....................the rest.
Thaddeus McCotter ;
Isn't this the wrong century for a President named Thaddeus ? Actually made some sense in a NR Op/Ed.
Potentially sane, so count him out.
Buddy Roemer :
Against big money in politics. Buddy, I got a secret to share with you..............the GOP likes big money, likes corporations, and isn't about to change. He'd make a better Blue Dog Dem than most Blue Dog Dem's, and so...............isn't going anywhere anytime soon. But gotta hand it to him, it's not easy to stand up in a room full of corporate whores with chins dripping and tell them it ain't goo for the country to keep feeding the multi nationals tax code Viagra at the expense of the middle class.
Tim Pawlenty :
Bye Bye...............first out after a 3rd place Iowa straw poll finish. No money, no charisma, no chance from the get go.
I am sure there are others, but hey............write your own review.
No winners here at this point...............