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National Organization for Marriage:
"Stop oppressing my right to oppress you!"

Won't someone please think of the bigots?

Earlier this month, the National Organization for Marriage (NOM), one of the most visible and active anti-gay marriage groups, asked all serious contenders for the GOP nomination for president to sign its so-called “Marriage Pledge.”

It some ways, it was just another pledge being sought from political conservatives, like the one that many Republicans have signed promising never to vote for higher taxes. The NOM pledge obligates signers to oppose same-sex marriage, support a federal amendment defining marriage as limited to one man and one woman, and back the appointment of judges and an attorney general who will “respect the original meaning of the Constitution” and defend the federal Defense of Marriage Act, which denies the legal federal benefits of marriage to same-sex couples.

No particular surprises there. But there is one especially sinister provision: the NOM pledge promises that signers, upon election, will “appoint a presidential commission to investigate harassment of traditional marriage supporters.”

Now let's break this down. NOM, which goes into states to warn people that if gays are allowed to marry, it's one quick slide down the slippery slope into kindergarteners being forced to learn how to fellate each other. That some people might object to this campaign of blatant bigotry is "harassment" that requires all sorts of special protections and investigations. Because bigots have a right to try to oppress the minority, and anyone who dares to, like, hold up a sign of protest is clearly oppressing them. Which is un-American and unconstitutional. And someone in the White House needs to get to the bottom of this oppression of the oppressors.

Fortunately, three of the "serious" candidates for president have signed NOM's pledge to do just that:

"We are grateful to Michelle [sic] Bachmann, Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum for their courage and their leadership in standing up for marriage, and so are millions of Americans who care about protecting marriage."

First question: Shouldn't NOM, in its gratitude, learn how to spell Michele Bachmann's name correctly?

Second question: When did Rick Santorum become a serious candidate?

Third question: Who does Mitt Romney think he's kidding? Or is he just counting on NOM to not know how to use the Google?

When he ran against Ted Kennedy for the Senate in 1994, Romney wrote a letter to the Massachusetts Log Cabin Club, pledging that as "we seek to establish full equality for American gay and lesbian citizens, I will provide more effective leadership than my opponent." During that same campaign, Romney was accused of once describing gay people as "perverse." In response, Romney's campaign vehemently denied that he used the word "perverse" and said that he respected "all people regardless of their race, creed, or sexual orientation."

But we all know by now how quickly Romney will completely change his entire ideology about everything in order to win still lose.

Still, the idea that these "serious" candidates really believe that the harassment of bigots is of such national concern that it necessitates a presidential commission to investigate is so ... so ... well, actually it's exactly what you'd expect from these people. Even though it's not in any way based on reality. As the Southern Poverty Law Center points out:

The reality is that there’s little to suggest that religious-right organizations are being subjected to any substantial harassment by members of the LGBT community, outside of the occasional boycott. In fact, it is the LGBT community that is targeted for real harassment — criminal hate violence — far more than any other minority in America. A Southern Poverty Law Center analysis of hate crime data found that LGBT people were, on average, 8.3 times more likely to be attacked in a violent hate crime than would be expected on a per capita basis.

The reality is that these "serious" candidates have pledged to stand with the bigots. And while, for the most part, they think the states should be left to do whatever the hell they want and the federal government should go on permanent hiatus, some things—like protecting the rights of oppressors to oppress others—are worthy of presidential intervention. Which just further proves that actually, these "serious" people don't believe in anything at all, other than catering to the craziest, most hateful people in their party.

Originally posted to Kaili Joy Gray on Thu Aug 25, 2011 at 09:37 AM PDT.

Also republished by Daily Kos.

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