Before I start let me say thank you for the kind comments and support.
It is all over. I now have over 120 hours behind me with no oxycodone. And I feel like a fool. A dummy for getting caught in the opiate trap. You hurt and take the pills then the pain goes away when you take them on schedule. Especially when you are accidentally given four times the dosage needed. But taking these drugs on a strict schedule has one major drawback I seemed to have forgotten. When there is no more pain, the drugs mask that and your mind is programmed to act as if you still hurt.
I still have some pain, always will. But is is back to being age appropriate for me. The big thing is I am off all opiates. What an addiction. I pity people who get hooked on these drugs. The Oxycontin/oxycodone problem in the hills of Eastern Kentucky has gone epidemic. I have seen the effects and the toll it takes out on families. And it is a heavy price to pay. This drug grabs a person an digs it's claws in deep. And once it has you it will gain control eventually. It got me. Once I figured out the drug was controlling me instead of me being in charge, I knew it was time to stop. Pain or not it was time to start cutting back.
My wife and kids think I can go on and off these at will. They know it is hard on me because they have seen it happen many times before. But they really do not know what I go through when I stop. This time was even worse. We have two grand kids and their parents living with us. Plus another son is living here as well. But he is trying to get in the Army, a pretty good reason to sponge off mom and dad a little while. But those grand kids are my life. We have six. Even though I stopped taking the opiates for me. A little part of my brain had them in mind.
To my friends and family, I make this look easy. Once I decide to stop, I do. But let me tell you it is not. Not at all. First you have to want it. Your mind and body have to be ready to stop and have the intestinal fortitude to follow through and take what ever life throws at you. There comes a point when the addiction makes or breaks you. Cross that mountain and the hills start to get smaller. Even now having no drugs in my system I still have a craving for the drug. Forever and a day. That is the price you have to pay.
I keep the pills around, even when I am going through withdrawal. I seem to get strength from the bottle being right in front of me sometimes. I am a drunk too and keep several bottles of booze around as well. Does not mean I have to drink them Same with the pills. No need to take them so I choose not to imbibe. Sounds simple, and it is, but it is also a demon in waiting. An animal best kept caged and double locked.
I debate on whether or not to put this in an open forum. But if me writing about my addiction helps one person think about quitting or actually stopping these opiates I would die a happy man.