From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Friday Margaret & Helen Blogging
Their posts are rare these days, but the octogenarians still pack a punch. Helen's take on Goodhair Perry and Googly Eyes Bachmann:
[S]ee if you can follow the bouncing jackass:
- Rick Perry wants Texas to secede because Washington has gotten too big.
- Rick Perry takes $17 Billion in federal stimulus dollars.
- Rick Perry uses those dollars to generate a whole bunch of new government jobs in Texas.
- Rick Perry celebrates the state’s job growth in hopes that we’ll send him to Washington.
If he makes it to the White House, I’ll be the first to pick up where he left off in the Texas secession campaign.
And then there’s Michele, who doesn’t have the common sense God gave a goose. A couple of year’s ago, she decided that God’s green earth doesn’t need to stay green when she told folks, “Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.” Maybe she inhaled a little too much of that hairspray that keeps her hair so high.
Good Lord. This is the best the Republican Party has to offer? I think Texas has had it’s fair share of Presidents and Minnesota needs to just be satisfied with its largest ball of twine. I mean it. Really.
The twine wouldn't have a chance. It refuses to wear a flag pin.
Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Note: Tonight's C&J is going to be a rudderless mishmash of unsupervised anarchy. As you read this, I'm out of internet range for the weekend and speeding toward an undisclosed location where the deer and the antelope play (specifically, tuba and castanets). Back Monday, assuming the proper authorities cut me down from the Tree of Woe in time. Til then...bottom's up!
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the Netroots Nation Fall Online Auction: 4
Days `til Spud Day in Shelley, Idaho: 8
Estimated number of trackable pieces of space debris circling the planet and jeopardizing satellites and the Space Station: 22,000
Number of pieces of debris too small to track: Unknown, but a helluva lot more than 22,000
(Source: National Academy of Sciences)
Percent of the 12,500 people surveyed at the Minnesota State Fair who say the state constitution should not be amended to define marriage as “only a union of one man and one woman”: 66%
(Source: Annual MN House's State Fair Poll via Kossack legendmn)
Portion of Texas employees who work for the government there: 1-in-6
(Source: The Week)
Rank of Betty White among most popular and trusted celebrities: #1
(Source: Reuters-Ipsos poll)
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Four-legged Heroes
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CHEERS to the Book of Obama. Chapter 1: Elected! Chapter II: Stimulus Saves Us From 2nd Great Depression! Chapter III: Health Care Reform! Chapter IV: Grand Bargain of 2010, plus START Treaty and Ending 'Don’t Ask Don’t Tell'! Chapter V: Osama bin Laden Rubbed Out! Chapter VI: Debt Ceiling Showdown! And now, Chapter VII: "Jobs Jobs Jobs!" Only one thing, as usual, stands in the way of, from what I've read, a full point drop in the "official" unemployment rate under Obama's $447 billion plan: Republicans. And our side should fill the air with a simple, and true, message: if Republicans want to put Americans back to work as earnestly as Democrats, they'll co-sign on the dotted line and pass this jobs bill now. If they don't, they won't, and voters can let 'em know how they feel about that come election time. As always (and as the pundits reminded us a million times last night), the proof is in the pudding---Ezra Klein has a few spoonfuls of it here. Also: the cake is in the oven, the kabobs are on the grill, the mac 'n cheese is bubbling in the microwave, the onions are sauteeing in the pan, the pie is cooling on the window sill and the wine is breathing in the cellar. Which answers the question: how do you know when a second-rate blogger has just watched a presidential speech at dinnertime?
P.S. Michele Bachmann gave a rebuttal to the president's jobs speech, during which she criticized Obama for calling the House "a circus." When she was done, she got back into her little car with the rest of the tea party caucus and zoomed out of the tent.
CHEERS to a soliloquy to remember. Sunday is the tenth anniversary of the attacks of 9/11. I don't feel the need, really, to go into how I reacted on that day---the feelings, as they say, were pretty mutual among us all, so you can probably make a good guess. But eventually Americans seemed to diverge---as we so often do---on two paths. The right-wing path led toward fear and loathing of Muslims generally. The left-wing path, as usual, led to a fact-based, clear-eyed, and compassionate view of the situation. And no one articulated that better than President Obama eight years after the fact. This is one reason why I pulled the lever for the guy and will do so again. Keep in mind two things: this was delivered one year ago tomorrow, which was less than two years after the departure of the most inarticulate president in our history, and it was an ad lib during a press conference where he addressed the bullshit "9/11 mosque controversy" that had (and still has) teabaggers' knickers in an Islamophobic twist. This is the takeaway lesson of 9/11 for me, distilled to its plain-English essence:
"Now, I recognize the extraordinary sensitivities around 9/11. I’ve met with families of 9/11 victims in the past. I can only imagine the continuing pain and anguish and sense of loss that they may go through. And tomorrow we as Americans are going to be joining them in prayer and remembrance. But I go back to what I said earlier: We are not at war against Islam. We are at war against terrorist organizations that have distorted Islam or falsely used the banner of Islam to engage in their destructive acts. And we’ve got to be clear about that. […]
And fortunately, the overwhelming majority of Muslims around the world are peace-loving, are interested in the same things that you and I are interested in: How do I make sure I can get a good job? How can I make sure that my kids get a decent education? How can I make sure I’m safe? How can I improve my lot in life? And so they have rejected this violent ideology for the most part---overwhelmingly.
And so from a national security interest, we want to be clear about who the enemy is here. It’s a handful, a tiny minority of people who are engaging in horrific acts, and have killed Muslims more than anybody else.
The other reason it’s important for us to remember that is because we’ve got millions of Muslim Americans, our fellow citizens, in this country. They’re going to school with our kids. They’re our neighbors. They’re our friends. They’re our coworkers. And when we start acting as if their religion is somehow offensive, what are we saying to them?
I’ve got Muslims who are fighting in Afghanistan in the uniform of the United States armed services. They’re out there putting their lives on the line for us. And we’ve got to make sure that we are crystal-clear for our sakes and their sakes they are Americans and we honor their service. And part of honoring their service is making sure that they understand that we don’t differentiate between "them" and "us." It’s just us.
To coin a national motto: e pluribus fricking unum, man. Read the whole thing---it should be required absorption for every school kid in America (and an uncomfortably large number of adults---including far too many in Congress---who seem to have forgotten the lesson, or never learned it in the first place). Terrible day, yes. But we're still here, working spasmodically as ever on that whole "more perfect union" thing. Osama and hundreds of his #2s and #3s…aren't.
CHEERS to the home of the Golden 55 Electoral Votes. On September 9, 1850, California became the 31st state in the union. And if there's anything---anything at all---that we can do to make you Golden Staters more comfortable, just ask. We love you, California. We love you, we love you, we love you. Especially every four years in November.
JEERS to Juicepocalypse. Whoa---the worst power outage in 40 years turned the southwest into a vast wasteland of marauding gangs firing catapults filled with hot lead at each other from dune buggies retrofitted with crude armor fashioned out of corrugated aluminum and sections of wrought-iron fence yanked from their foundations. (The nuns have since returned to the convent with orders to say 25 Hail Marys each.) The power is back up and things are getting back to normal. Thankfully the damage was mostly confined to unattended sex toys roaring back to life, breaking furniture and smashing windows. No injuries, but several red faces.
JEERS to the Founding Flip-floppers. On this date in 1776, the Continental Congress, caving to the pressure of cutthroat lobbyists, officially changed our country's name from "United Colonies" to "United States." Of course, the name has changed again in recent years. Today we call it, "United? Ha!"
CHEERS to home vegetation. 9/11 commemorations, retrospectives, ceremonies, and "lessons learned" documentaries will dominate TV this weekend, as is appropriate if overwhelming. Otherwise, the weather-plagued U.S. Open tennis tourney continues, as does the baseball season. (Um, Red Sox? You can stop losing now.) Oh, and NFL season ramps up---here's the schedule. New DVD releases include the critical and box office hit X-Men: First Class, plus Will Ferrell going low-key in Everything Must Go and the seventh season of The Office (all the goodies are catalogued at Ain't It Cool News).
And here's your Sunday morning lineup in exhaustive detail:
Meet the Press: 9/11
This Week: 9/11
Face the Nation: 9/11
Washington Week: 9/11
CNN's State of the Union: 9/11
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: 9/11 (and this week it's Fox's turn to babysit John McCain)
I usually end this item with "Happy viewing," but this week I'll just say: "9/11 responsibly."
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Five years ago in C&J: September 9, 2006
JEERS to bin Laden's new 'Get Out of Jail Free' card. Soon to be overheard at a Pakistani police station?
"Okay, Osama, you're free to go, m'kay? Here's your wallet, your keys, your iPod, and your good-luck box cutter. Have a nice day, m'kay?"
Given the Bush doctrine of squishing nations that aid and abet terrorists, I expect we got us some more liberatin' to do. Yee-haw! Eat my bunker buster, Musharraf! [9/9/11 Update: The headline of that 2006 USA Today article reads, Pakistan: No safe harbor for bin Laden. Really. What a relief.]
CHEERS to stingrays. In light of how the creatures will inevitably be demonized after the death of Steve "Crocodile Hunter" Irwin, Kossack Mark H's Monday diary is worth reviving:
"Stingrays are docile. Unbelievably so. ... Deaths by stingrays are exceedingly rare. I've heard figures as low as five known cases in the past century, and all of these being freak events where the barb was somehow inserted into the heart muscle."
Well, except the one rogue stingray that shot a surfer with a .357 magnum. No one saw that comin', either.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to a bright spot on an otherwise somber day. When 9/11 rolls around, be sure to take a moment to face Berkeley, California and shout, "Lordy, Lordy, look who's forty!" Yes indeed, our malevolent kingmaker and current troll slayer, Markos Moulitsas Zuniga, hits the milestone Sunday, and we wish him many blessings on his camels. On behalf of the C&J community, I got him the usual gifts: new star pin for his Che beret, new pair of jackboots and a renewal of his subscription to Popular Hispanic Hippie Commie Pinko Socialist Libtard Moonbat Vegetarian Cyclists Monthly. It's the least we could do.
Oh, and as for the candidate at the bottom of tonight's poll: yeah, it's real. (and I hope it wins!) Have a great weekend! Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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