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"Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."
--Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Liberals got Palin Derangement Syndrome. You know what they don’t like? She has five kids. Lieberals don’t have five kids. She has a baby with Down’s Syndrome. Liberals would never let that happen.”
--Bernard Goldberg on Fox

1. "Sarah Palin: God’s Gift To Democrats"

  They say what cost McCain the election was not just Bush, or being a Republican, or running the worst campaign in history.  It was picking Sarah Palin.  But I know why he did: so if he got elected, no one would dare shoot him.

  The talking-head right-wing Pod People kept saying how “hot” she is.  Sure—for a Republican. But Rich Lowry, editor of National Review, may never live down rhapsodizing about Palin’s VP debate performance as if he had just been honored with a lap dance...I’m sure I’m not the only male in America who, when Palin dropped her first wink, sat up a little straighter on the couch and said, ‘Hey, I think she just winked at me.’”

  She pretended to be so pro-American, with a flag pin that was actual size and could stop a bullet, but she spoke to, and her husband belonged to, a group that wanted Alaska to secede from the United States.  Still a felony. Still treasonous.  Their leader said things that would make Rev. Wright go "Whoa Nellie! You might want to dial that shit back!"

  And they would need to be their own country, because she wanted it to be a refuge for the surviving non-Christians who didn’t make it to Heaven when the Rapture came.  Mel Gibson immediately optioned that idea for the next “Road Warrior” movie.

  Sarah also spent $23 million to build a train that would take people from Wasilla, where she was Mayor, only to a ski resort that I'm sure gave her some free lift tickets.  Ted Stevens was convicted of seven felonies and lost re-election (or they would have kept him in the Senate no matter what record he had, because they don’t fire anyone. He was convicted of bribery because some oil guys built him a free balcony—like I always say, the Republicans sell out cheap (see: Duke Cunningham). And Rick Perry WILL sell out for five thousand dollars.

  Palin is pro-abstinence education, but she let her 17-year old get pregnant by a high school kid who got her daughter drunk on wine coolers and did it in the back of a van. At the same time Levi Johnston was forced to wear a suit and parade around everywhere with Palin next to Bristol and the baby and the other babies and get shoved in everybody’s face like a show horse he still had this on his MySpace page:

 “I’m a fuckin’ redneck who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes. But I like to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some shit, just fuckin’ chillin’, I guess.  Ya fuck with me, I’ll kick ass.”

  Sadly, they later broke up.  Bristol didn’t want her baby, “Tripp”, to be around any weird people.  So I guess her parents won’t see the kid either.

  (NOTE: I read an article about Levi in GQ while finishing this book and you know what?  I want to apologize to him.  He’s just a regular guy, a real Alaskan, whose life has been totally ruined because he didn’t wear a rubber.  Palin used him and abused him.  I say, give him a break.)

  Palin belongs to an evangelical church where they speak in tongues.  Her pastor also makes Rev. Wright look like Mr. Rogers.  He’s a witch doctor who performed an exorcism on Palin to get her ready to be Governor—that worked out well.  He prayed for her to win, and make a lot of money.  She spoke in the church and asked everyone to pray for an oil pipeline to go through her county.  They gave the oil company $50 million to build it years ago, and they haven’t done shit yet.  

  The church has weekend seminars for homosexuals to come so they can “pray away the gay”.  I guess that’s her cult’s version of “Gay Rehab”.  They say they make most of their money from Republican Senators. But the media only talked about how much her clothes cost.

  In the quaint, all-American little town of Wasilla, which Palin never tired of mentioning, having been the Mayor, and all, is in Wasilla County, where in 2007, police raided 42 meth labs.  But come on, give the kids a break.  It’s Wasilla, Alaska!  And they’re bored to death.  If you had to live there you'd do meth too. Plus that was the Mayor's Job Creation Program.

  But oops: Right before Election Day, the mother of Levi Johnston was arrested on many counts of meth possession, sale, and use. We only found out after the election that Palin had the court appearances and legal actions held up until after November 4.  Did anyone report this? Um, no...Just MSNBC, AGAIN...

  And McCain and Palin were straight-up stealing all of Obama’s material.  If they were comedians, they would have had the shit beaten out of them. They stole “Change”.  Palin stole all of Reagan’s best lines: “There you go again”, and the classic, “Government isn’t the solution to your problems—government IS the problem.”  I want a law passed in Congress: if you think government is the problem, you cannot be allowed to run the government.

  She couldn’t pronounce “nuclear”.  I want another law passed: you cannot have the power to authorize a nuclear strike unless you can pronounce “nuclear strike”.

  Yes, it was all peaches and cream and state fair corn except for one little thing:  at every anti-war rally I have ever been to, I have never heard one person say “Kill him!” or “Kill Bush!”  Just “Impeach Bush!”, or “Use Our Normal Channels Of Laws And Checks And Balances To Get Him Out!”  Because we’re still about peace, love, and harmony, and you can’t be for that stuff unless you are a pussy. So when Joe Scarborough and everyone else said, “The Democrats do that too!’ they were lying.  I mean, “Bomb Obama!”?  The Secret Service had to investigate.

  Palin was picked to be the pit bull, the attack dog, to be even worse than McCain in the way she attacked Obama.  She and others used words like “uppity”, which is only used before the N-word.  She was always introduced by somebody who would say, “Barack HUSSEIN Obama”.

  He was “pallin’ around with terrorists”, like he was out doing shots with the Taliban.  And she would always say Obama “is not like us”, with a wink.

  These weren’t campaign events—they were more like Klu Klux Klan rallies.  So she’d get her crowds frothing and they’d yell “Treason!”, “Terrorist!”, “Bomb Obama!”, and “Kill him!”  This was barely talked about: “Kill him”.  I thought the term “lynch mob” was obsolete.

  Nobody stopped her.  This was racism beyond even the wildest dreams of Karl Rove, who was one of McCain’s consultants,while a Fox News commentator--of course.

  All the radio and TV talk hosts from the far-fringy-right, defended her, saying, “People yell at everyone’s rallies!  They’re just excited!  They love her!  She’s gorgeous, fresh, a hockey mom!”

  You think I’m exaggerating about the racism?  A co-chair of the McCain campaign in Virginia wrote a column which was published in a newspaper, saying among other things that if Obama became President, he would immediately “have Ludacris paint the White House black.”  That is insane.  Ludacris is rich—he’s not going to be painting any houses.  He’s going to have the guys in front of Home Depot do it—that is, if they haven’t all gone back to their home countries yet.

  Palin cut her budget for Special Ed and special needs children a few months in after claiming during the whole campaign that she was the “spokesperson for special needs kids”.  (Later, when Obama’s Stimulus Plan said she would get $33 billion for a state in trouble, she declined the money.  Apparently the spokesperson's job doesn’t require that she actually do anything.

 They used to say that if Johnny Carson made fun of a politician, he was done.  Of course, he had more power than anyone on TV, but Letterman certainly hobbled McCain’s candidacy when McCain cancelled on him and lied to him, but making a Governor quit?  You have to give him credit, along with the other East Coast elite liberal media, which still doesn’t exist.  But the exact opposite happens in the 21st century.

UPDATE: When asked why she cancelled her national bus tour of upstaging candidates after 12 states out of 50, she replied "I had jury duty."  Who uses jury duty as an excuse anymore? And what jury would let her be on it???


“I’m the Mayor--I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can’t.”

“I don’t know if I should “Buenos Aires” or “Bonjour”(Sic)...This is such a melting pot. I love the diversity. Yeah. There were a bunch of guys named Tony in the signing line, I know that.”

“At that moment there was my Blackberry vibrating me (sic) back to work. It was John McCain asking me if I wanted to change history.”

“‘Refudiate’, ‘Wee-wee’d up’. English is a living language. Shakespeare liked to coin new words too. Got to celebrate it!”

“I’m not politically correct. I’m not one to be the word police (sic).”

“Who hijacked ‘Feminist’? A cackle of rads who want 2 crucify other women with whom they disagree on a singular (sic) issue. It’s ironic--and passe.”

“Well, I don’t know who she is, and I apologize for that. So, and I didn’t wanna offend her, but I don’t know who she is. So I won’t take her words necessarily (sic) to heart.” (Referring to Katie Couric)

“If God had not wanted us to eat animals how come He made them out of meat?”


I want a law. Call it "Sarah's Law":  

if you do believe government is the problem and you don't like the government, you cannot work in the government.

I want another law:
If you cannot pronounce "nuclear", you cannot be President or be near the big red button ever.

And I want this to be a law:
Any Republican politician who does not believe in evolution is never allowed to get a flu shot again.



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Comment Preferences

  •  Who™? n/t (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    Float like a manhole cover, sting like a sash weight! Clean Coal Is A Clinker!

    by JeffW on Wed Sep 14, 2011 at 08:50:26 PM PDT

  •  This will not end well nt (0+ / 0-)

    I hope that the quality of debate will improve,
    but I fear we will remain Democrats.

    by twigg on Wed Sep 14, 2011 at 09:05:54 PM PDT

    •  Are you kidding? All of us comedians were just (0+ / 0-)

      handed a month on a silver platter: Sarah Palin committed serial adultery, slept with athletes while reporting on them, did cocaine before snowboarding (WTF) and "has a fetish for Black men". I have to change this whole diary now...

      "Stupid is the new smart." --Keith Olbermann

      by Doug Ferrari on Fri Sep 16, 2011 at 12:20:27 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Just a correction (0+ / 0-)

    I dislike Palin (and Stevens) just as much as anyone here but
    Alyeska isn't "Stevens' ski resort", he did not own it nor was he involved in it in any way other than he had a house near there in Girdwood.

    •  Thanks--fellow Kosers don't know this, but (0+ / 0-)

      I started Facebook a year and a half ago after never even texting and never playing a video game or computer game of any type in my life. One of the most satisfying things I do for the 3,000 people from around the world is post Kos diaries with the logo so they have to come here. I don't think they read anything longer than this reply, but I wrote:

      "I love Kosers. I don't have to look anything up--they tell me immediately what's wrong, analyze it like pros, and write an essay. You've got to read the comments."

      "Stupid is the new smart." --Keith Olbermann

      by Doug Ferrari on Fri Sep 16, 2011 at 12:23:40 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Is this what passes for humour (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    these days:

    Palin is pro-abstinence education, but she let her 17-year old get knocked up by a drunk high school kid who had no intention of marrying her—that is, until she saw Palin’s extensive gun collection.

    I must be getting old.

    I hope that the quality of debate will improve,
    but I fear we will remain Democrats.

    by twigg on Wed Sep 14, 2011 at 09:21:15 PM PDT

    •  Sorry, twigg, (0+ / 0-)

      These pieces are witten for 100 different audiences, and I don't get all PC and Berkeley-that's-not-funny and censo and edit just for the Daily Kos. George Carlin said "You have to put some sugar around the pill", which today means dirty jokes. And, you're right--that joke has been carbon-dated to 1930.
      My bad.

      "Stupid is the new smart." --Keith Olbermann

      by Doug Ferrari on Fri Sep 16, 2011 at 12:26:23 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Tipped for "evolution - flu shot" (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Tinfoil Hat
  •  nope...just nope....shooting fish in a barrel (1+ / 1-)
    Recommended by:
    Hidden by:

    seems wrong to me, even if those fish hunt from helicopters.

    I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine up against a wall." ~Eleanor Roosevelt

    by Ramdove on Thu Sep 15, 2011 at 12:11:22 AM PDT

    •  you guys are amazing. its like daddy's gonna take (0+ / 0-)

      away your bullets, so you're gonna shoot as many as possible until then.

      i am (almost) speechless. rub two sticks together and make a fire while you are at it, ok?

      I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine up against a wall." ~Eleanor Roosevelt

      by Ramdove on Thu Sep 15, 2011 at 04:16:20 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  I never ever hear anything like the comments here, (0+ / 0-)

      and I have never heard anyone say that exposing Sarah Palin, besides giving stress relief to millions in the form of laughter, is shooting a fish in a barrel who might still be President of the United States, Vice-President of the United States, or worse--she continues to lead a death cult through tweets. We have crossed the rubicon. Irony is dead. We are through the looking glass, and nobody is a fish in a barrel anymore. Thanks for writing!

      "Stupid is the new smart." --Keith Olbermann

      by Doug Ferrari on Fri Sep 16, 2011 at 12:29:23 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  twigg: joke cut. scottdc: correction made. Thanks! (0+ / 0-)

        "Stupid is the new smart." --Keith Olbermann

        by Doug Ferrari on Fri Sep 16, 2011 at 12:32:00 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  the 1950's called doug. they want their creepy (0+ / 0-)

          "We have crossed the rubicon" quote back.

          they are just as nauseated as i am that you would use the infinitesimally small chance that grifter palin would ever be elected to any position of more importance than road carrion removal as an excuse to attempt to deride my comment.

          but you just keep on pitching. Sarah p needs as many supporters as she can get. um, i hear her book is marked wayyy down. jump on that, ok?

          I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine up against a wall." ~Eleanor Roosevelt

          by Ramdove on Fri Sep 16, 2011 at 01:40:34 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

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