As our shell-shocked Secessionist-in-Chief contemplates his meteoric rise and precipitous fall from grace, our reclusive First Lady of the Lone Star State has been venturing forth from her secure location, recognizing that Something Must Be Done. Anita Perry is shocked - shocked! - that the other candidates in the debate wanted to
“throw him off message because he was leading in the polls.”
Call me old-fashioned, but isn't that one of the main purposes of a political debate? They're clearly not all assembled in one place to share any deep truths, or any solutions for the jobs crisis. If you're going to attack someone in a debate, wouldn't it make sense that it would be the front-runner?
Rick Perry, as we've seen in painful, wrenching (or maybe retching?) Technicolor, is not a debater. So it's no surprise to hear Anita say that he's never, ever taken any classes in debating or had any training. Maybe he should have dropped some of those courses in animal husbandry and taken some public speaking and debating courses, but he probably figured he could bullshit his way through any of that stuff when the time came. Don't worry, though. Anita assures us that he's going to do better. Next time he'll be more prepared.
In a chicken-and-egg conundrum, Perry's poor performance is either the result of his avoidance of debates throughout his campaigns in Texas, or the reason why he always resorted to smear tactics, evasion, and macho "you can't make me do it" swagger. In his most recent campaign against the marvelous Bill White, Mayor of Houston at the time and someone who would have been a fantastic governor, Perry's gambit was vintage avoidance: I won't debate Bill White unless he releases his business records.
That might have kept him out of the fray at the time, but a little debating practice would have done him a world of good. He has always managed to control the process in Texas, but we're not in Texas any more. Now he's swimming with sharks, and they're circling him, and Perry - barring a miraculous turnaround - could be circling the drain.
Follow along below the Coriolus effect for more...
So... back to our little story. Anita Perry, who really needs to get out more, told attendees at a Westside Conservative Club breakfast that:
“I thought I was pretty seasoned, but I’ve never seen anything like this."
Well, of course you haven't, sweetie. You and Rick live in a $10,000-a-month rented mansion, with walls stuffed with money to keep out the cries of the unemployed, the uninsured, the under-educated, and the many hardworking people of Texas who've lost their homes, their jobs, and their way of life in the epic drought and wildfires. You haven't ever had much interested in these folks. Once they've cast enough votes to keep you on Easy Street a little longer, they're really of very little use, apparently.
As much as she hates the spotlight, Anita's heading up to Iowa to help open Rick's campaign headquarters. Good luck avoiding real people there. You might want to stock up on hand sanitizer - there'll be a lot of contact with Regular People.
Before she goes, she's got one fun event lined up here in Houston. Somehow, I was not invited, but according to the Houston Chronicle Blog
Anita Perry is headed to Houston this evening for a fundraiser in the River Oaks home of philanthropist-fundraiser and University of Houston regent Mica Mosbacher. She knows the way.
Between 2000 and 2010, Mosbacher and her late husband Robert ranked among Gov. Rick Perry’s Top 10 contributors. Their total topped $490,000 during that period. In 2006, the Mosbachers spent $26,000 to fly Anita Perry to the Republican National Convention and back on a private jet. Robert Mosbacher Sr., Commerce secretary during the Bush I adminstration, died last year.
In 2009, Mica Mosbacher gave the governor separate donations of $75,000 and $50,000, in addition to a $100,000 contribution. Perry appointed Mosbacher to the UH Board of Regents in 2008.
Mosbacher told the New York Times recently that she got acquainted with Anita Perry in 2005 through the First Lady’s work with the Texas Association Against Sexual Assault. Mosbacher agreed to help raise money for the association in the Houston area.
The sponsor list for this evening’s event — “Together, we can get America working again! — include Shahla Ansary, Suzan Deison, Ellie Francisco, Patty Huffines, Meredith Iler, Kristen Perry, Laura Sweeney and Daisy and John White.
Hosts for the reception are expected to give or get $10,000. Individuals are asked to contribute $500. Credit cards are accepted.
Now these are the sort of people that Rick and Anita feel comfortable with. Nobody here is going to bitch and moan about the fire-fighting budget being slashed by 75%, or their kid's teachers being laid off, or how their spouse can't get the life-saving surgery they need because they don't have insurance. Nobody here is going to whine about illegal immigrants (unless of course they're slow in bringing another plate of hors d'oeuvres), and there won't be any tough questions about the debate debacle.
Just keep in mind: if you're shocked by what you've seen so far, Anita, you'd better brace yourself. It's about to get a lot worse.
Oh... and have a lovely evening.