From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE
And awaaay we go...
Maine's new Republican governor---he who told the NAACP to "kiss my butt" a couple days before MLK Day---has decided that being a trailblazer on environmental issues just ain't his bag. So backwards we go with 36 (for now) revisions to environmental laws. Little things, like allowing development on pristine land, scuttling the Board of Environmental Protection, and loosening restrictions on a chemical linked to cancer in kids.
Oh, and considering how evil the tea party thinks the federal government is, it's worth noting how quickly they'll move to embrace it when it suits their agenda, in this case by "Making Maine's environmental laws conform to less stringent federal standards." (Gov. LePage also hates the Reinvestment and Recovery Act so much that he's willing to vacuum a bunch of extra commie dollars from it so other states won’t be tainted by them. How thoughtful!)
Environmental groups here are not pleased, and you can bet they'll push back:
"We are shocked and stunned," said Lisa Pohlmann, incoming executive director of the Natural Resources Council of Maine, one of the state's largest and oldest environmental advocacy groups. [...]"This is an ideological push rather than a reasoned, science-based approach," she said.
Sean Mahoney, executive director of the Maine Conservation Law Foundation, said some of LePage's proposals may not be legal. "From a legal standpoint, we don't think the proposals would pass muster---for example, changing the standards for review for agencies," Mahoney said.
In other words, we may find ourselves in the position of being able to ask Gov. LePage to kiss our butt. But that would be rude. Right, Governor?
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Note: The Republican "replacement" healthcare plan is almost ready to be unveiled. Bad news: pre-existing conditions, lifetime caps and the Medicare "Donut hole" are back. Good news: poultices are on the house!
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Super Bowl XVV5VVVIIIII: 11
Days `til the Madison Winter Festival: 24
Rise between 2008 and 2010 in the number of creditors who filed foreclosure notices: 23%
Number of foreclosures last year: 2.9 million
(Source: The Week)
Wind chill at the top of Mount Washington Monday: -81F
Chance that a U.S. Protestant knows who Martin Luther is: 50%
(Source: Harper's Index)
Number of quarts in a gallon: 183
(Source: the Heritage Foundation)
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 173 (including 4 Kings of the East and several hairs in the soup). Soul Protection Factor 8 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today. (hat tip to Lineatus for the link)
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Freedom
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CHEERS to hope and change, Act II. President Obama's State of the Union speech was---say it with me---more "muted" last night. And that's not a complaint. It was a little more businesslike, a little more dignified, a little more nuts-and-bolts but not without heart. (And did anyone miss Clarence Thomas, Antonin Scalia or Sam Alito last night? Didn't think so.) I just wish we could take the president's ideas---the progressive ones, anyway---and drop 'em into a solar-powered Acme JumboMatic Reality Creator so we could git 'er done. Oh well. Here are some more random thoughts I carved on my cave wall last night:
>> The ribbons worn in honor of Gabrielle Giffords were a nice touch, as was leaving a seat open for her.
>> We're getting our butts kicked, America. Well, fuck that! Quick---to the Innovationmobile!
>> "This is our generation's Sputnik moment." Okay, see, that's a problem right there. This should be our "Mars, bitches!" moment. But, hey, at least Republicans appreciated the opportunity to momentarily whisk their minds into the past.
>> Still worth mentioning that Barack Obama's oration skills are incredible. Cadence, pitch, pauses, inflection, poise. Perfect. Also: what a difference in tone from George W. "Bring it on" "Yer either with us or against us" "Axis of evil" Bush.
>> "We need to teach our kids that it's not just the winner of the Super Bowl who deserves to be celebrated, but the winner of the science fair; that success is not a function of fame or PR, but of hard work and discipline." Okay, fair enough. But nevertheless, GO PACKERS!!!!!
>> "Here in America, it's time we treated the people who educate our children with the same level of respect. We want to reward good teachers and stop making excuses for bad ones. And over the next ten years, with so many Baby Boomers retiring from our classrooms, we want to prepare 100,000 new teachers in the fields of science, technology, engineering, and math." And maybe a smidgeon of arts? Maybe just a wee bit of paste and glitter and a couple pianos?
>> I told you playing musical chairs would not be good! This was the most tepidly-applauded speech I've ever seen which meant it lost some of its zing.
>> I told you playing musical chairs would be good! This was the most tepidly-applauded speech I've ever seen which meant it zipped right along.
>> No, that wasn't a torpedo in Admiral Mike Mullen's pants. Actually, I've just been informed that it was a torpedo in his pants.
>> We may actually get a high-speed choo-choo built before all the original passengers from the first trip on a high-speed choo-choo in Japan (1964) have died of old age.
>> Weirdest thought that crossed my mind: Harry Reid has a really nice head of hair.
>> Let's make an effort to export more stuff. We can start with Glenn Beck.
>> Health care: "Instead of re-fighting the battles of the last two years, let's fix what needs fixing and move forward." Smart---that's what a majority of Americans are thinking, too.
>> "The Interior Department is in charge of salmon while they're in fresh water, but the Commerce Department handles them when they're in saltwater. And I hear it gets even more complicated once they're smoked." Ba-dum bum! Welcome to the Catskills!
>> Hulk smash earmarks!!!!
>> Obama: "The Iraq War is coming to an end." Audience: [Yawn] WTF???
>> "American Muslims are a part of our American family." How sad that he even needs to say it...but he does.
>> "The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein has acquired significant quantities of uranium from Africa. Naaah...I'm just messin' with ya!"
>> "Everything is being frozen." Considering it's 3 degrees out at the moment, I find that hard to refute.
>> "Our troops come from every corner of this country---they are black, white, Latino, Asian and Native American. They are Christian and Hindu, Jewish and Muslim. And, yes, we know that some of them are gay. Starting this year, no American will be forbidden from serving the country they love because of who they love." Waited 18 years to hear that. Sounds good.
>> "That dream is why someone [John Boehner] who began by sweeping the floors of his father's Cincinnati bar can preside as Speaker of the House in the greatest nation on Earth." Let's check the slo-mo instant replay aaaaand...no waterworks from Mr. Speaker, but a definite lip quiver. Mission accomplished!
Overall: I give him an A for presentation, a B for content, and an A for political savvy. He'll get a two-point bump. As for the Republican response-and-a-half, I let our dog, Molly, weigh in on them, which she did this morning behind the garage. I believe her point-by-point analysis is still steaming.
JEERS to a stain on an otherwise decent presidency. The Republicans set the trap...and #42 walked right into it. Instead of admitting his human frailty up-front and asking forgiveness from a nation famous for granting second chances at the drop of a hat, on January 26, 1998 President Clinton spoke the immortal words, "I want to say one thing to the American people. I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky." Sure, Bubba...the blow jobs were strictly business. [Retro-facepalm]
JEERS to Georgia packers. Got an email (not sure why) yesterday from a group called Georgia Gun Owners, which is hellbent on letting people tote their shootin' irons into church. They want to repeal a law that forbids that, based on the now familiar logic that...
"...once H.B. 54 is passed, people like Jared Loughner will know that there is at least the potential for someone in a place of worship that would put him down before he could do any damage," said [executive director Patrick] Parsons.
Uh huh. Like Joe Zamudio, who came tearing out of a drug store with his pistol to intervene in the Tucson shooting and almost shot the wrong guy? That would've been a tragedy on top of a tragedy. So you know what I say? I say Georgia should follow the gun rules that were in effect in the rough, tough, wild wild west town of Tombstone, Arizona, home of that little OK Corral kerfuffle, which was actually a battle over the town's gun policy:
Back then, Tombstone had far stricter gun control than it does today. In fact, the American West's most infamous gun battle erupted when the marshal tried to enforce a local ordinance that barred carrying firearms in public. A judge had fined one of the victims $25 earlier that day for packing a pistol.
"You could wear your gun into town, but you had to check it at the sheriff's office or the Grand Hotel, and you couldn't pick it up again until you were leaving town," said Bob Boze Bell, executive editor of True West Magazine, which celebrates the Old West. "It was an effort to control the violence."
I don’t normally say much about guns, but Mr. Parson's group felt compelled to email me, and I felt it would be rude not to respond. Bottom line on guns in church, sayeth the Not-Very-Reverend Billy: Jesus was a pacifist...and the change in yer pocket says "In God We Trust."
CHEERS to naked men dipped in gold. The Oscar nominations were announced yesterday (the full list here). There were a few surprises (Jennifer Lawrence and John Hawkes for Winter's Bone, Jacki Weaver for Animal Kingdom), but The King's Speech (12 nominations), True Grit (10), Inception (8) and The Social Network (8) got the lion's share. Two prominent documentaries got snubbed, by the way: the public education tut-tut film Waiting for Superman, and my own submission, titled The Political Symbolism of Scooping Dog Poop Behind the Garage at Midnight. (Memo to self: next time you hire Christopher Plummer, don’t make him suck helium while doing narration, dummy. Save it for the after-party.)
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Five years ago in C&J: January 26, 2006
CHEERS to a special treat from Daddy!! Because enough Americans were good little boys and girls last year, the IRS is promising to freeze fewer innocent low-income earners' refunds without telling them why. (But if you say one word to Mommy about the wealthy tax-dodging individual and corporate whores legally hiding billions in off-shore accounts, you'll be so grounded!)
JEERS to the urge to splurge. New report shows that Americans are among the worst savers in the world. Hey, we're just following the lead of our Republican-led Congress and our fearless Republican President. Is that...wrong?
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And just one more...
JEERS to the ghost of SOTUs past. Last year Democrats passed a sweeping, if imperfect, health insurance reform bill that, on balance, will benefit our country very much, especially as the foundation is strengthened with future improvements. Republicans, of course, are screaming, "Repeal and replace!!!" But what would they replace it with? What historical guide could they rely on that would reflect the true face of conservatism? The answer lies in this clip from The Colbert Report, circa January, 2007...
Stephen Colbert: What made [Tuesday's State of the Union speech] so groundbreaking, I think, was all the new stuff we've never heard from the president before...like a domestic agenda. Take his proposal to fix the whole health care mess with the only proven cure-all: tax breaks...
Clip of George W. Bush: And for the millions of Americans with no health insurance at all, this [tax] deduction would help put a basic private health insurance plan within reach.
Colbert: It's so simple. Most people who couldn’t afford health insurance also are too poor to owe taxes. But...if you give them a deduction from their taxes they don’t owe, they can use the money they're not getting back from what they haven't given to buy the health care they can't afford.
And speaking of health care, today's C&J cafeteria special is our classic Marlboro and Pall Mall casserole smothered in Alfredo sauce with a Super Big Gulp and deep-fried Twinkies. (Add a side salad for just 50 bucks.)
Rejoice, my friends---as soon as the Martians get here our republic will be saved! (Or vaporized if it was a bumpy ride.) Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"In an interminable speech, every president, regardless of party, tries to stroke every erogenous zone in Bill in Portland Maine."
---George Will
1/23/11
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