crossposted from www.BuffaloRidgeBlog.com )
There was no 2nd and 3rd bus for the press, no phalnyx of staffers with clipboards IDing every attendee, no spin doctors, and not a single satellite truck in sight. The legendary Bachman "security team" was MIA, take note "Barbarians" bearing glitter: She's wide open. Back in 2007 Obama would reliably draw 5% of the counties population to an event, even if it was during the day on a weekday in a red county. Michelle's shrinking entourage played to an audience of maybe 60 today in Rock Falls. Rock Falls is the county seat of Lyon County, Iowa and said county has a population of around 12,000 and reputedly is the reddest in Iowa. Yup,Bachman couldn't even draw one percent of the population in this hotbed of extreme republicanism. Of our lonely 60, about a third were true believers, a third staffers and media, and a third seemed to be bored citizens looking for some free entertainment... There ain't a whole lot goin' on in Republican Rock Rapids.
The downside of an entertainer's career ain't a pretty sight. They play smaller and smaller halls- odds are your favorite pop group of a couple decades ago are playing the supper clubs and small halls of the Dakotas, and barely making expense money. Tim Pawlenty had the good sense to get out before he reached this stage of decline, Michelle, well... Back to my notes.
When you're campaign's tanking, you've got time on your hands, and so it was that Bachmann's bus showed up a full half hour early when the stagehands were still setting up what was left of their set, a small stage and risers for the TV media that largely didn't appear. To avoid any further "bathroom incident"s, I suspect Bachmann travels in the restroom equipped tour bus. But despite arriving that half hour early, she finally appeared ten minutes late. in the meantime the assembled not so masses were assaulted with patriotic muzak. I know the Republicans are kinda short on musical talent, but can't they find anything besides public domain marches? Michelle killed a good five minutes circling the small crowd and shaking everyone's hand- even this evil socialist cycle trash queer's! Normally I would have run, but as a member of the "press" I had to maintain some decorum.
I'll spare you the painful details of her stump speech. She repeated the $1.79 gallon gas line twice. Then she claimed she had talked to a businessman that was investing a million dollars on his business outside of the "overtaxed" U.S.... In Canada! Did Bachmann forget that Canada is an evil socialistic country with socialized medicine that makes "ObamaCare" look like it was written by the U.S. Chamber of Commerce? Then she claimed the U.S. has more energy than any other country... Has Bachmann even heard of Canada, she'd love tar sands oil! Clearly, she's been in Iowa so long she can't even see Canada anymore...
Surprisingly, after her extended rant Bachmann took questions... But this is Republican Rock Falls, so that's not too risky. A 9 year old boy with autism asked her what she would do to stop the epidemic that is autism. Bachmann, true to form, answered with a stock assertion about federal overspending. Got to hand it to her, the lady stays on message! Responding to another question, Bachmann asserted that China is aiding the Taliban. And sending troops to Uganda- She's definately not standing behind the Commander in Chief. Answering a final question, she claimed that the Obama administration gave Brazil two billion dollars to drill for oil with... Is there no end to Bachmann's "alternate (un)reality"?
Fifty minutes after she started ten minutes late she ended the questions with the excuse that she needed to get down the road to the next stop. But like I said, a dying campaign has time to kill- I hung around for fifteen minutes, went to the bathroom, got all bundled up and got back on the bike to ride home- and her bus still hadn't moved. Maybe they were passing the hat for gas money?