From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
A Wall Street CEO Visits the Executive Washroom
A Play in One Act
[Knock Knock!]
"Sorry. Occupied."
"Aaaaaghhhhh!!!!!!!"
The End.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, October 17, 2011
Note: The Concerned United National American Citizens Center Institute Chamber Foundation Commission Consortium Coalition Fund for the Protection, Defense and Advancement of Sensible Freedom, Liberty, Values, Growth, Hope, Progress, Opportunity, Responsibility, Commerce, Children, Families, Puppies, Patriots, Babies, Baby Wipes, and Blue Skies But Against Fraud, Waste, Abuse, Taxation Without Representation, Treading On Me and Tyranny is responsible for the content of this blog post. For a complete list of our anonymous donors, wish on a star.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Netroots Nation 2012 in Providence, Rhode Island June 7-10: 234
Days `til the Meadow Highland Games & Celtic Festival in Doswell, Virginia ("Music. Food. Large Men Throwing Stuff"): 12
Approximate time it takes now for the Occupy Wall Street movement to double in size: 8 days
(Source: Techpresident.com)
Average jump in family health insurance premiums this year: 9%
Average cost of family insurance per year now, double what it was ten years ago: $15,073
Value of public-health benefits for every dollar spent on pollution control, according to the EPA via Harper's Index: $30
Estimated size of this year's U.S. peanut crop, down 13% from last year: 1.8 million tons
(Source: AP and a furry peanut glutton)
NE Patriots 20 Dallas Cowboys 16
Texas beats Detroit 4 games to 2
St. Louis beats Wisconsin 4 games to 2
World Series begins 10/19/11
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Baby Rick Perry???
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CHEERS to occupying, y'know, stuff. The OWS movement kicked off its fifth week Saturday with protests around the world, the participants of which ran the gamut of attention-getting tactics:
- More than 500 marchers wielding clubs attacked police, two banks and a supermarket in Rome, Sky TG24 reported. Authorities responded with tear gas and water cannon.
- In Frankfurt, 5,000 marchers gathered by the European Central Bank headquarters, firing soap bubbles from toy pistols with plans to camp out, ZDF German television said.
Yeah, I'd say that about covers it. Meanwhile, as the movement doubles in size every half dozen days or so in this notch-above-a-banana-republic of ours, the media continues its obsession with OWS's lack of specific policy positions, think tanks, detailed drafts of legislation for introduction to congressional subcommittees, and larger-than life messiahs to lead the movement to provide the requisite soundbites. Which explains why my favorite sign is the one I heard about yesterday: "We're here! We're unclear! Get used to it!" From the looks of it, they'll have plenty of time.
JEERS to weasel words. A little unfinished business from last week: Only one political party uses the phrase "wealth distribution," and that's the Republican party when it's attacking Democrats for being socialists by helping feed the hungry, aid the unemployed, provide health care, regulate the banksters and prevent the planet from burning up. So tsk-tsk to Glenn Adams of the Associated Press for using the term in an article about an Occupy Wall Street rally that took place Thursday in Augusta…and also for getting his facts wrong:
Cokie Giles, a nurse at Eastern Maine Medical Center in Bangor and president of the Maine State Nurses Association, said her union and National Nurses United are trying to build support for a tax on financial transactions, which advocates see as a way of redistributing wealth. The idea has been embraced by some in the Occupy Wall Street movement.
Wrong. Advocates actually see the (itty bitty teeny weenie) tax on financial transactions as a way to force the banks to have enough money on hand to pay for their own bailouts so taxpayer's won’t end up footing the bill again. It's making Wall Street accountable for cleaning up their own messes. We'll file that story under "Gratuitous Hippie Punch Fail."
P.S. The Augusta rally reignited (complete with a camp for the long haul) on Saturday, and the story was written up by a local reporter without bias. See, AP? It's not so hard.
CHEERS to a fine grand opening. Yesterday the Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial was officially dedicated on the National Mall. It was a lovely and emotional affair, but the image that stuck with me most can be summed up in three words: "President Aretha Franklin." (Admit it---it would be a landslide.)
CHEERS to Jon Stewart's (faux)-evil twin. How time flies. The Colbert Report debuted six years ago today as the yang to The Daily Show's yin. While Jon Stewart assumes the role of a rational observer horrified by the lunacy and hypocrisy of modern politics, Stephen Colbert dons the leopard skin of the modern-day conservative and "feels the news" from the perspective of "a well-intentioned, poorly informed, high-status idiot." He revealed his weapon of choice in his debut:
"Truthiness. … I don't trust books. They're all fact, no heart. And that's exactly what's pulling our country apart today. Face it, folks, we are a divided nation. Not between Democrats and Republicans, or conservatives and liberals, or tops and bottoms. No, we are divided between those who 'think' with their head, and those who 'know' with their heart. … Anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news at you."
After a week of slacking for freedom, Colbert returns tonight to kick off year 7 by gut-checking guest Harry Belafonte. Spoiler Alert: Yes, that is a banana boat in his pocket.
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Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
This is another edition of The One Word Answer Man. Kossack Upper West asks: Is SimCity the source of 9-9-9?
Seriously???
Now back to Cheers and Jeers.
Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
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CHEERS to African booby chicks. On this date in 1888, the first issue of National Geographic went on sale. Followed later that evening by the first issue of National Geographic to be stashed under a mattress.
CHEERS to blowing this Mess-O-Potamian popsicle stand. A brief summary of our near-term future in Iraq:
"Do you want us to stick around longer in your country? We're happy to! All we need is a guarantee of blanket immunity for Americans here from things like, y'know, murder and whatnot."
"No."
"Did you just say yes?"
"No."
"Is that a no that really means yes? Because what we're hearing is yes."
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Ha! You just said yes!"
"Get out."
Well, if they're gonna be rude about it, fine...Good…BYE! Now prepare for the neocons to tell us we're "abandoning Iraq to Iran." To which I say: if Iran wants to drain its assets and drive itself crazy and broke trying to figure that fractured place out…the key's under the doormat. Knock yourself out…literally.
JEERS to traumatizing our children. Someone hacked into Sesame Street's You Tube page and replaced the content with porn, forcing it to be taken offline yesterday. Users suspected something was amiss when one video was titled, "Big Bird and Cookie Monster agree on a 'safe word.'"
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Five years ago in C&J: October 17, 2006
JEERS to Republican corruption. C&J is shocked---SHOCKED!---to learn that Congressman Bob Ney, from my beloved home state of Ohio, has pleaded guilty to charges of financial wankery. His sorry ass (and two-dollar haircut) is expected to be booted out within days. Haw Haw.
CHEERS to James Boyce. You should read his piece over at the Huffington Post on Mark Warner's impact at the '06 YearlyKos convention, and our reaction to his pullout from Campaign '08. A snippet:
First of all, the blogosphere or the Democratic Online Community (DOCers?) is not a constituency or a union that follows in step en masse with its leaders. It is a vibrant thoughtful community where all are welcome, as was clearly demonstrated at YearlyKos. Candidates, consultants, bloggers, interested parties, everyone gathered together and shared and hlped each other. It sounds a little utopian I know, but it's true and it was a great experience (Forever hat tip to Gina Cooper and her volunteer crew.)
This is also clearly a universe where passion and policies and personality matter more than parties at the Stratosphere. I truly believe everyone there appreciated Mark Warner's financial and personal commitment to the event, but not one person was going to sell out for a molten chocolate dessert fountain---as good as it was.
Of course not. Now, if you're talking caramel...we woulda walked through fire.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to those who wield that which is mightier than the sword. Another group of radical hippies has added its support to the Occupy Wall Street movement, and they're a good bunch to have on your side: a virtual who's who of professional writers:
We, the undersigned writers and all who will join us, support Occupy Wall Street and the Occupy Movement around the world.
An organizer of occupywriters.com says the participating scribes have been "beyond inspired and excited by the creativity and imagination they see happening down at Occupy Wall Street and around the country." Write on!
Have a nice Monday. Say hi to the man who will "force spiders and badgers on the enemy." (It's just crazy enough to work.) Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Right-Wing Media React To Alleged Assassination Plot: "Bomb Cheers and Jeers Now"
---Media Matters
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