Sometimes, we take life for granted. Sometimes, we need to die to realize that we really have an important purpose for our life. Can it be true that if our heart stops beating, we can see the importance of air, and somehow be reborn like a phoenix from the ashes? Maybe then, we can see that each and every one of us, as a single person, can make the world a better place. We can make dreams a reality and give hope to others who desperately need us. The good news is, you don't have to die! Somebody else did it for you, and now you can learn from this experience. Learn from BearDel!
Several years ago, I was a moderately successful business person and a very good basketball referee. One day, I discovered that I had an irregular heartbeat, diagnosed as atrial fibrillation. This condition can produce heart rates in excess of 200 beats per minute. As an active referee, my normal heart rate was 50-60 beats per minute. I didn’t have the irregular beats all the time, but, as you can imagine, when they kicked in, anxiety caused by a fear of death could make functioning as a normal person nearly impossible. This fear led me to give up my passion for basketball, as 3 very good friends had died while refereeing games. I was placed on a regimen of medications, but my “breakthroughs” were becoming more frequent. I was beginning to have episodes every day, often for several hours at a time. Doctors decided that I was a candidate for a medical procedure, a Pulmonary Vein Isolation (PVI) ablation of the heart. This procedure involves placing catheters into the veins of both legs with the final destination being the heart. A skilled doctor enters the heart and burns the areas where electrical impulses enter the heart (from the pulmonary veins), causing an imbalance resulting in the irregular beats. Since the meds were no longer working effectively, and because I knew that the heart meds were toxic, I decided to give the ablation a chance. The ablation was scheduled for February 11, 2003. I was to go home the following morning.
The ablation became my worst nightmare. The doctor made a critical mistake, and I died on the procedure table. Fortunately, a surgeon was nearby, and he had time to cut my chest open. My heart had stopped for several minutes. The surgeon cut the pericardium releasing the pooling blood. I was “shocked” with paddles several times, until my heart started beating again. The next ten days were spent in Intensive Care and Cardiac Care. I had lost 24 pounds. I was very weak. One of the meds they put me on had not been approved by the FDA. I had 8 side effects. I still have a paralyzed diaphragm in the right lung and numb feet. I should mention that the hospital invoice was for $269,000. Subsequent follow-up care cost another $250,000. Thank God I had insurance.
As you can imagine, depression set in. Often, I stated that I wished that the doctors would have just “let me sleep”. Most of the next year was spent seeing specialists to fix all of my new problems and the still uncured cardiac condition. I spent a lot of time online, and I finally did research atrial fibrillation. I found an online blog of atrial fib sufferers like me. My story was very compelling to members of the chat room, and it showed all of them the risks of ablations that many of them were considering. I must say, that what I learned from these wonderful people changed my life, in the short term. Several of these people are still friends today. I found a specialist at the nearby University of Pennsylvania, Dr. David Callans. I scheduled another ablation for April of 2004. The procedure was successful. I still have occasional episodes, but I know how to control them quickly.
In the summer of 2005, I decided that I was given a second chance at life for a reason. I decided to help others less fortunate than me. I starting chatting with a single mother in Slovakia, Slavka. My life changed the day I started to understand her troubles. I really knew nothing about Slovakia or any of the former Soviet Bloc countries for that matter. What an education I've gained over the past six years! These people are just like you and me, in fact, in a lot of ways, they have it better than we do. Their education system is amazing. The sad thing is that they have little or no future. The economy is very bad. For the most part, they have nowhere to go. My wife and I traveled to Slovakia the following summer. We spent a week with Slavka. I bought Slavka a laptop computer. Before I left, I took Slavka to the local college where she enrolled to learn the skills of a massage therapist. She graduated from three different programs. I was able to get Slavka a part-time job at the local Whirlpool factory where she would massage employees. As luck would have it, the economy soured, and so did the need for paying a therapist in her city. Today, she works 50-60 hours a week in a hospital at 2.5 euros an hour. Slavka has enrolled in a part-time nursing school this semester. Hopefully, her life will get better soon.
The biggest commonality I find is that the girls I work with have little or no self esteem. So, I stress to each girl from the beginning that they are important and that they are special. I don’t think I can explain with words the feelings of gratitude that working with the girls brings to me. I can almost see the smiles and feel the emotion when I say something simple like “I’m so very proud of you!” We all need this kind of encouragement. I’ve been able to witness a transformation of self doubt into self worth. Their lives are filled with lies and broken promises. My friend, John from Canada, and I, hear all the time, “we never knew that there were such nice people in the world as you!” Slavka told me that I am the first person who believed in her, in fact, her parents never told her that they loved her!
John has a saying that I’ve begun to use regarding dreams. He says there are three parts to a dream: 1) A dream is a wish of something that you’d like to have happen in your life. 2) Envision your dream. Believe that it can happen! 3) Make the dream real! That’s what we are doing, helping others to make dreams that seemed impossible a reality.
I want to tell you about another girl, Aneta, from the Czech Republic. When I met Aneta, she was a lost soul, a brilliant girl with little self confidence. I helped her get through her first year at university with money and by building her esteem. In the summer of 2009, I was able to bring Aneta to the USA to work on a J1 visa. It was a great experience for Aneta. She went back to the Czech Republic with an American accent. With new confidence, Aneta was driven to attain two master's degrees at the same time at two different universities. She took 19 subjects that fall semester. People in the USA couldn't believe it. My daughter is a full time student at the University of Delaware, where 5 subjects a semester is usually the max. In December, I got a message that Aneta's bill for university was due. She wouldn't be allowed to take her exams. I sent her $1000. The following March, Aneta had dropped out of university. She hadn't paid her rent for several months. She was going to sell the computer I'd purchased for her to pay her bills. She told me her dreams were finished. I wouldn't let Aneta quit. I said, "Quitting is an unacceptable behavior for you." I told her to contact her Dean at the university and to ask to be readmitted. It was three weeks into the semester. Aneta said it was too late, but the university took her back with open arms. This past June, Aneta received her master's degree with honors in International Development Studies. She will devote her life to helping the poor people of the world in underdeveloped countries.
Aneta is currently doing research in Peru. She is working with children near the city of Arequipa. She has been asked to do further research in the Amazon in November. Of course, all of this takes money. Aneta needs about $1000 to complete this research before she returns to the Czech Republic. She had to borrow several thousand dollars just to get to Peru. I've personally invested probably $10,000 to get Aneta to where she is today, but it will be money well spent. She will help tens of thousands of people in her lifetime. I will be visiting Aneta during our Thanksgiving holiday, to see firsthand the work she is doing. I'd love to get Aneta a job with an American based foundation, so that she can best perform her skills at a decent living wage. She has earned that opportunity. I'd also like to get her story out to the media, not only to help Aneta, but also to allow Slavka's Dream to continue to assist others in need. All of our work is being done with girls in Central and Eastern European countries.
Some people have questioned what I’m doing. Why are you helping these girls, when you can be helping the poor children in Africa, or even here in the United States? My answer to them is that each one of us has our own task in life. Some of us will answer that call, and I commend all for what they do, even if what is done is a small thing. Whether we help one person or thousands of people, the important thing is to take that first step and do something. Slavka and Anetka both know that they owe me nothing. Their re-payment is “Pay it Forward”. When they are able, they are to help others. Anetka will help others in her career. Slavka is already helping people in Slovakia to believe in themselves.
As citizens of the world, we are all in this life together. We can all strive to be better. We can and should strive to help others to have a chance to make their lives better too. Won’t you join me in helping to make dreams a reality?
Look at our website. You will be able to read more about the girls we've helped. There is also a link where you can donate to further our cause. The girls need you. The young children of Peru and South America also need you, through Aneta.
When I come back from Peru, I will update this diary. I want to best explain the work that Aneta is doing there. When I first met Aneta, she asked why I was helping her, or anyone else? Then she told me "I want to help people too". I didn't know then what she meant. I didn't know her field of study. I am so grateful right now that I've been able to know and help Aneta. I helped one person to succeed. Aneta will help thousands. It was a destiny moment, our meeting. You will see later how destiny has played a part in the lives of other young girls as we continue our story in the months ahead.