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Saturday Night Live had a great Weekend Update segment where Seth Meyers and special guest Kermit the Frog both ripped Congress for declaring pizza a vegetable because of the tomato paste in it.

SETH MEYERS: Really, Congress?  Now cafeteria pizza qualifies as a vegetable?  Cafeteria pizza barely qualifies as a pizza.  It has the same nutritional value as the tray it's served on.  And if pizza's a vegetable now, what's broccoli?  Penicillin?

KERMIT THE FROG: I mean, really???  If pizza is a vegetable, what's a fruit salad?  Twizzlers and a grape soda?  Really?

SETH MEYERS: Really?  At this rate, it won't be long before eating French fries will count as taking French.

KERMIT THE FROG: Really.  You know, maybe we should just change the national anthem to the Hot Pockets jingle.  I mean, really??

SETH MEYERS: Really!  And really, for what it's worth, tomato paste makes up only 31% of the tomato sauce.  The other ingredients include potassium sorbate, citric acid, and tricalcium phosphate.

KERMIT THE FROG: That's not a vegetable, that's a chemistry quiz.  I mean, really?!?!?

Full transcript below the fold.

SETH MEYERS: On Thursday, Congress rejected new USDA guidelines for school lunches that would have increased the amount of fresh fruit and vegetables in cafeterias, and instead declared that the tomato paste on pizza qualified it as a vegetable.  These new nutritional standards bring us to a segment we like to call, REALLY!?! with Seth & Kermit.

KERMIT THE FROG: Thank you, thank you Seth.  Thank you.

SETH MEYERS: Thanks for coming.  You ready?

KERMIT THE FROG: I am ready.  Yes.

SETH MEYERS: Really, Congress?  Now cafeteria pizza qualifies as a vegetable?  Cafeteria pizza barely qualifies as a pizza.  It has the same nutritional value as the tray it's served on.  And if pizza's a vegetable now, what's broccoli?  Penicillin?

KERMIT THE FROG: I mean, really???  If pizza is a vegetable, what's a fruit salad?  Twizzlers and a grape soda?  Really?

SETH MEYERS: Really?  At this rate, it won't be long before eating French fries will count as taking French.

KERMIT THE FROG: Really.  You know, maybe we should just change the national anthem to the Hot Pockets jingle.  I mean, really??

SETH MEYERS: Really!  And really, for what it's worth, tomato paste makes up only 31% of the tomato sauce.  The other ingredients include potassium sorbate, citric acid, and tricalcium phosphate.

KERMIT THE FROG: That's not a vegetable, that's a chemistry quiz.  I mean, really?!?!?

SETH MEYERS: Really!!

KERMIT THE FROG: Really!?!

SETH MEYERS: Hey Congress, do you not think childhood obesity is a problem?  One out of five 4-year-olds in this country are obese.  On Halloween, a kid came to my door dressed as a pirate.  I thought he was supposed to be Dom DeLuise.

KERMIT THE FROG: Hehehehehehe.

SETH MEYERS: Really.  Kids are fat.  If you don't believe me, drive down to your local playground and count the number of broken swings.

KERMIT THE FROG: Oh yeah.

SETH MEYERS: Those puppies are going down left and right.

KERMIT THE FROG: Yes, and have you been down to the town pool?  Those aren't swimsuits, those are sausage casings.  Really?  I'm really going to be in trouble for that one later.

SETH MEYERS: Why? ... Oh, right.

KERMIT THE FROG: And really, Congress?  I mean, it's your job to look out for children, you know?

SETH MEYERS: But you didn't.

KERMIT THE FROG: No.

SETH MEYERS: And worst of all, food companies spent over $5 million dollars lobbying against tighter nutritional restrictions, which means in this case, Congress was nothing more than a puppet to the food industry.  No offense.

KERMIT THE FROG: Oh, that's OK, I'm not a puppet, I'm a Muppet.

SETH MEYERS: Oh.  What's the difference?

KERMIT THE FROG: Ah, well, a puppet is actually controlled by a person, whereas I am an actual talking frog.

SETH MEYERS: Oh.

KERMIT THE FROG: Yeah.

SETH MEYERS: Really?

KERMIT THE FROG: Really.

SETH MEYERS: Ah.

Originally posted to BruinKid on Sun Nov 20, 2011 at 05:00 AM PST.

Also republished by ClassWarfare Newsletter: WallStreet VS Working Class Global Occupy movement and Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group.

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