This is the unknown I face. Even though it has been over two weeks since the car accident we are still assessing the extent of my injuries and I do not know how they will affect my already ongoing health issues.
Fibromyalgia and Rheumatoid Arthritis had both been fairly under control, although my RA had been acting up a bit and I was starting to have issues with my rotator cuff on my left arm, I couldn't lift the arm very well and well, it is the same arm I have badly broken.
The break itself is the radius at the shaft, which is not as common as the distal break, which is closer to your wrist. The plate in my arm is rather long too, about three inches. The incision is even bigger, I got to see it when I got the staples out and I got a new cast that keeps me from being able to twist my forearm at all. I also cannot use the arm at all and will be on disability until the end of January. I just hope I have a job to come back to.
The bruised tailbone and aching lower back was x-rayed to make sure there is no more serious damage. I cannot sit on anything hard for any period of time and even padded seats are uncomfortable, the recliner has become my best friend.
The three hours spent at the orthopedic center for Kaiser wore me out (it didn't help that there were a couple of times I thought I was going to pass out, I should have eaten a better breakfast. I also got dizzy when the x-ray tech kept trying to get me to twist the staple riddled forearm that I was explicitly was told NOT to twist.)
I cannot seem to get everything taken care of though. The doctor I saw was just a hand specialist. I still have this badly sprained ankle. When I over did it this Tuesday my poor right foot and ankle got swollen again and for some reason looked more bruised than before. At least the cellulitis was taken care of, I now know not to assume that hospitals will clean and bandage all cuts (no really, they asked me about it in the ER, where did you get this cut, but did not bother to clean and cover the cut on my foot).
So, I still tread carefully on the right leg, my ankle and foot are tender but there is no break, that was checked multiple times. I just know my pain, that is something you become familiar with when you deal with chronic health issues.
But I think, now what? How is this going to make things for me moving forward? Another trauma to the body is exactly not what anyone with health issues like Fibro needs.
And after sleeping on this diary last night it made me realize just how painful that can be. I just haven't figured out how to sleep with this cast. My arm hurts the most at night and when I wake up my shoulder is just aching. My hand aches as well a lot more than the right one and the joints are definitely more swollen. My husband accidentally kicks the sprained ankle a couple of times in the night as well. I just had th worst night sleep.
And I have dealt with pain, so some of this is not anything new, some of the pain is just more concerning because I wonder if I have injuries that haven't been identified or if I am doing harm to the ones that were trying to fix.
I hate feeling this helpless and unable to do things. I was limited prior to the accident, this is a whole new level of limited. I started a new Girl Scout Troop that I cannot lead. I cannot take my daughter to and from school. The small things I could at least do, I cannot do now, at least for the next two months and I think, what is this for? What is the lesson? How much slower should I go?
And I do that, I over commit. So it looks like it is time to cut back.
And the worst part of this all? So many people I know are going through health issues, some life threatening. I feel even more helpless to be there for them. This community has come out for so many time and time again. It is why I am still here, even if it is not as prolifically as I used to be. It will always be the place where I found my voice again and it is why I come back again and again.
Politically it has been difficult, I feel somewhere in the middle of the fray. It has made it difficult for me to find my voice when it comes to current issues. I have been quite baffled by it all, at a loss to understand what we are doing to our Country and why things that are so obvious to me should be so difficult to so many Americans. It is complicated.
BTW, excuse the obvious typos, typing with one hand!