This diary is a celebration of the Occupy movement as a whole. Only now do I feel wholly inspired in this wholly corporate owned plutocratic Citizen’s United system without the politicians with any courage of their convictions to battle it as they have in the past. It is past time for some accountability for the trillions of household wealth destroyed by the Plutocrats who sold us out while buying out the fat cats in our government bailing them out selling us, the 99%, out.
Now you might have noticed I use many images in my diaries, but just as a technical matter I don’t know if many of you know these images are original and they are created by myself, like them or hate them, like me or hate me. I have to give credit to my friend poligirl(and my friend and sometimes collaborator joanneleon for encouraging me to start making poster art for the Occupy Movement) for advocating for my work to be featured in MB’s series on Occupy Poster Art. I also want to thank Meteor Blades for featuring a piece of mine at the top of part III in his series along with Eric Drooker (Grrr, I hate him. He’s so good it makes me jealous. Heh, nah I don’t hate him, but he’s hard to compete with and I love his work) of the New Yorker cover artist fame and Shepard Fairey of course.
Unlike Eric Drooker and Shepard Fairey I don’t have a career and I am unemployed. It’s been like this since I graduated from art school in 2006 with a BFA in animation and media arts, the recession started in 2007 as the housing bubble started winding down and then the great crash of 2008 which obviously made prospects very hard for me and for many. Since the .com bubble bust, there has been pretty much nothing but net jobless recoveries to date including this latest “recovery” which is a sick joke. It’s not even easy during boom times for artists to make it; because a lot of people think what we do is not really important and should just be considered a hobby. Some careers in the arts are more prosperous than others, but nothing is a given.
It’s not like when you are little and you draw a decent picture and people tell you that you are going to be rich and famous someday and you believe it, which happened and I believed it sad to say. They say, “You can be……..whatever you want to be…….IF you work hard enough at it and believe in yourself. If you get good grades and graduate from college you can achieve your dreams and use your talents to make a good living for yourself. To a certain extent this can be true (as social mobility dwindles down and inequality has gone up and the 1% have everything, this is much much much less of a reality for most and you have to be very lucky), but what if you have psychological problems?
What if you live your life like Van Gogh who only sold one painting in his life and now that he is dead, the millions of dollars his paintings are worth now never helped him when he needed it? It’s been years since I have had a full time job (only have been able to find freelance work) and I worry I will never find work or a future. I am forced to live with my father and stepmother who think I’m just lazy and tell me I “better find any job, any job, or I am not going to have a future.” I’m not naïve enough to believe in social mobility though (lowest ever in these times and there’s no reason why I won’t be resigned to work a McJob forever which would kill my spirit. I’ve felt it before when I ran away from home for a couple of years and worked at grocery stores) and so I’d rather take somewhat indentured servitude to my parents while working on my art in the maybe vain hope that it will help me out someday or at least be worth something to someone.
So I brush off the shame and humiliation I feel and I still look for work, but I also create work in the meantime which is more important to me honestly though not having any money and being dependent in my early 30s takes a toll on my psyche. However, despite all of that I have been motivated to keep working on the pieces I have done for the Occupy Movement because I have a deep appreciation for this movement on a personal level. It’s inspiring.
Since there is nothing inspiring about a Democratic party that talks big about qualitative reform, touts inadequate quantitative reform erroneously, whines all day about Republican filibusters and 60 votes and then votes to keep the filibuster as it is, and cowtows to Wall St as well, it’s not surprising that Occupy Wall St has been the core of my inspiration and hope for the future. And not just me, the whole conversation has changed from the ridiculous accounting fiction known as a deficit constraint for countries that issue their own currency(to use Republican deficits to cut social programs because Democrats like the president don't understand national accounting) back to income inequality which means demand.
I feel that supporting this movement anyway I can is actually worth something unlike traditional political top down “your money and activism matters but not really” politics. I don’t expect everyone here to agree with me and neither does this movement which is one of its strengths, but I feel I can draw something now and make a difference as opposed to the real world that seems to have rejected me.
And that brings me to kossack Lenny Flank whom is an impressive publisher and longtime social activist, labor organizer, and environmental organizer. Lenny Flank noticed one of my pieces I have posted in one of my diaries and contacted me for permission to republish it for his book Voices from the 99%: An Oral History of the Occupy Movement. The piece is to the right and you can see it on the kindle version and the paperback version of the book you can order at Amazon or Smashwords.
This may not be a big deal, but it’s a big deal to me, because I’ve never been published before and it gives me a sense that what I am creating may be worth something. However, that’s just a small part of this as this opportunity Lenny gave me also gives me an outlet to support the Occupy Movement that I normally wouldn’t have, because like I said I am unemployed and I rely on my parents for everything. I’m supporting the Occupy movement not only by providing art, but all the proceeds from this book will be going to the Occupy Wall St movement.
That is a great comfort to have when ordering this book and from the sample I have read it is great so I would encourage any kossack aware of Lenny's work to order the book and support the Occupy Movement directly in doing so. So this isn’t just about me as much as this diary may sound like it as I am just letting you know where I am coming from. I owe a debt to Lenny Flank and will forever be grateful.
Only because of his interest in the locked arms piece you see above on the cover am I able to financially support this movement in some way, even though I am not able to be in the trenches as much as I would like. I have been to my local Occupy and put the same published piece in the Occupy Houston Art fest. I am limited to this form of contribution, but now I realize that it’s not worthless, that it is quite significant, and that I can now actually lend some financial support to the 99% in some way.
The same goes for me in some ways. It’s worth my time and effort and there are many reasons. I mean, say you’re like me, a shy person in real life. Let’s say you have skills, but you have always had awkward social skills. Let’s say you get nervous and do not interview well like me, even if you read self help books and try to say things employers want to hear.
Does that mean that you are such a POS to society that you don’t deserve to make a living and be happy with what you want to do? Does that mean you are resigned to a future of no future where your parents worry, and rightfully so in some ways that you won’t have a future? It feels that way.
It gives me anger and anxiety. I can now actually see an army of people with that same fear and anxiety. And when I take it all in, it leads me to think that maybe I’m not so messed up like my parents think I am? I am not alone.
I get lectured all the time in the form of an infomercial by my parents. In the same vein we are all given that lecture by the leisure class that thinks they are royalty because of their economic royalties built up(they think all by themselves but they are wrong) by the social fabric of our taxes as Elizabeth Warren explained aptly. They tell us to stop whining and to stop complaining and to “just get a job.” In this society, if you are one who cannot sell yourself and kiss the right rings, you’re worthless, less than worthless regardless of your skills and you don’t deserve to live a happy life in what we call a capitalist society. No one ever tells you this when you are young.
In the end it comes down to what you are willing accept and how you plan to live your life. You can choose to find whatever it is to make yourself as happy as you are able to be given your situation. We have little to no power besides what we inherit through our family or loved ones these days more than at any other time in our history where the Labor movement was strong and was able to represent you instead of attaching itself to an almost useless party that does little or nothing for it, in the hope for self preservation that is probably anathema to this practice.
This is not to say that hard work doesn’t matter, but statically it matters less and less as wages have stayed flat and productivity has risen with all gains going to the 1% and even more so for the .1% Things may fall part for me in the near future and I may be destroyed if I get kicked out or one of my parents dies, but we are all taking risks. I know the risks and I would rather take them then destroy my soul. I believe as long as I am busy doing the work you see here, I am not completely wasting my time despite who might think so in my family or out there in our Oligarchical capitalist society.
Without risk there is no reward. Of course I’m not talking about Wall Street Casino risk where the losses are socialized to the taxpayer and the rule of law doesn’t apply to them as it would all of us. I mean willing to bet on yourself and in one’s ability to produce something tangible in order to float above water while fulfilling your self-worth as a person. And if nothing else, it's for that something to at least be remembered here when you die which is perhaps that the biggest reward of all.
However, it would really be nice that if we tried sometime, as the Stones song goes, we would get what we need. As I watch all the courageous Occupiers on all the live streams standing up to militaristic police departments in solidarity with public worker strikes happening in the U.K, I’m thinking maybe we will?
Until then I will keep on doing anything I can to support this movement and creating new pieces when I think of new ideas. And one really can't evict an idea whose time has come.