From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
More Continuous Loops
What are they thinking???
Newt Gingrich: "Woo hoo! I'm king o' the world!…Woo hoo! I'm king o' the world!…"
Nancy Pelosi: "Yeah, just you wait, Newt...Yeah, just you wait, Newt…"
Mitt Romney: "No Christmas card for Bret Baier this year... No Christmas card for Bret Baier this year…"
Sen. Scott Brown: "No Christmas card for Elizabeth Warren this year... No Christmas card for Elizabeth Warren this year…"
Lt. John Pike: "I woulda gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for those darn kids… I woulda gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for those darn kids…"
Donald Trump: "Donald Trump…Donald Trump…Donald Trump…"
Santa Claus: "Rick Scott? Coal. … John Kasich? Coal. … Scott Walker? Coal. … Paul LePage? Coal. … Rick Snyder? Coal. …"
Herman Cain: "Damn, this couch is lumpy…Damn, this couch is lumpy…"
Bankster: "Bah, humbug!...Bah, humbug!..."
Jesus Christ: "Hey Fox News: Happy holidays!...Hey Fox News: Happy holidays!..."
Kossacks: "Yay! Meteor's back…Yay! Meteor's back…"
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Note: To err is human. To belch, divine.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Hanukkah, Festivus and Holiday: 14, 16, 18
Days `til the Bozeman Ice Climbing Festival: in Montana: 1
Factor by which a black Milwaukee driver is more likely to be, respectively, stopped and searched by city police than a white driver: 7:1 / 2:1
Percent chance that "those searches didn't lead to higher rates of seized weapons, drugs or stolen property": 100%
(Source: Atrios)
Age at which Yo-Yo Ma played cello for Presidents Kennedy and Eisenhower: 7
Patent number for the ultimate snowman: 8,011,991
Approximate number of years I've carried this same tube of ChapStik in my pocket: 6
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 180 (including 4 gogs and 1 holy hiney). Soul Protection Factor 16 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day File this under: No good deed goes unpunished…
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CHEERS to finding a good home for the 99%'ers. The foreclosure crisis has exposed the banksters at their heartless worst, and the federal government hasn't done enough to stand up to 'em. Enter the Occupy Our Homes movement, which yesterday made its presence known in a couple dozen cities:
In Minneapolis, protesters are trying to block the evictions of several area owners who fell behind on their mortgages because of illness or income loss. One homeowner they're trying to help is Bobby Hull, an ex-marine and a master plasterer and contractor who has lived in his home since 1968. Hull still has income and access to financial help from family members, just not enough to pay his bloated mortgage principal. […]
Today's demonstrations were just a warm-up for a major push starting in a few months, said Max Rameau, a housing activist with Take Back the Land, one of the organizations that has aligned itself with the Occupy Our Homes movement.
I'm sure the banks are thrilled to have all the extra attention. Kinda like the way a Fox viewer is thrilled to come in contact with facts.
CHEERS to the date which will "live in infamy." Today marks the 70th anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. As often happens with these kinds of calamities, it took a few moments for those stationed there that day to realize that something was seriously wrong:
Around 8 a.m. on Dec. 7, 1941, Army Private Francis Stueve sat down to breakfast with the rest of the 89th Field Artillery battalion, stationed at Pearl Harbor. “As quiet a day as you’ve ever seen,” Stueve remembers now. “Beautiful sunshine, nothing going on.”
Suddenly, not far from his seat in the dining hall: bang, bang, bang. “Somebody says, ‘It’s the Chinese New Year,’ ” he said. But then, a bullet broke through the glass window of the dining hall. Another flew just past Stueve and knocked the butter dish off the table.
As a nation, we snapped out of our post-12/7 shock in the blink of an eye and it was all downhill for Tojo and Yamamoto soon after. The USS Arizona Preservation Project has a tour of the wreckage, and some eerie photos. And this is sad: the survivors are so few and so old now that the Pearl Harbor Survivors Association is closing up shop at the end of the year. But they would be most happy if we young'uns would kindly never forget that day or those who were there. Happy to oblige.
P.S. We also won't forget this excerpt from Richard Clarke's book Against All Enemies that we always remind ourselves of on this day:
By the afternoon on [the] Wednesday [after Sept. 11], Secretary Rumsfeld was talking about broadening the objectives of our response and "getting Iraq." Secretary Powell pushed back, urging a focus on al Qaeda. Relieved to have some support, I thanked Colin Powell. "I thought I was missing something here," I vented. "Having been attacked by al Qaeda, for us now to go bombing Iraq in response would be like our invading Mexico after the Japanese attacked us at Pearl Harbor."
Great thing about Roosevelt: he had a brain...and could read a map.
CHEERS to drawing a rainbow-colored line in the sand. I make no bones about the fact that President Obama locked up my vote the moment he signed the death certificate for 'Don’t Ask, Don't Tell.' But if he wants to keep on keepin' on, I won't complain. Wowie Zowie:
In a historic address before the United Nations in Geneva, Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton called on all countries to respect the civil rights of LGBT individuals. The Secretary also announced new U.S. initiatives to support organizations working to protect gay people who are marginalized and targeted with violence.
Secretary Clinton's speech followed a memorandum issued Tuesday morning by President Obama, who in a multifaceted strategy directed federal agencies engaged abroad to defend LGBT rights. Both developments follow previous State Department and White House pronouncements supporting the global fight against anti-LGBT persecution.
This isn’t just smart and humane policy. For the fundamentalist preachers in this country and their political enablers who spend lots of time and money convincing African leaders to hate the gays and criminalize their existence, it's an ideological wedgie, swirlie and noogie all rolled into one. Couldn't happen to a more deserving crowd.
P.S. Meanwhile, the U.N. has a similar request of the United States: please stop brutalizing your country's peaceful protesters. And thank ye.
CHEERS to the Pine Tree State's mealy-mouthed "moderate." Maine Senator Susan Collins---that rare Republican who actually has the ability to look forward once in awhile---celebrates her 59th birthday today. We give her props for supporting stem cell research and working hard to repeal 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell." But there's no worthless "Gang of…" she won’t be a part of, and she says she's pro-choice but then votes for Supreme Court justices who are champing at the bit to overturn Roe v. Wade. But we don’t want to harsh her buzz too much---she's all excited because it's the one day a year when she gets to sit at the big kids' table in the cafeteria with Olympia Snowe. (Psst...salad fork's the short one.)
JEERS to redefining "sex drive." Well, ladies, I'm afraid this settles it:
Kamal Subhi, a former professor at the King Fahd University, and the Majlis al-Ifta’ al-A’ala, Saudi Arabia’s highest religious council, have issued a “scientific” report that the proposed lifting of the ban on women driving will result within ten years in “no more virgins” in the Kingdom as well as “a surge in prostitution, pornography, homosexuality and divorce.”
But not locust plagues or giant meteors crashing into the earth. Because that would be silly.
CHEERS to great inventions. The microwave oven, invented by Dr. Percy LeBaron Spencer (from the great state of Maine, no less), was patented on this date in 1945. We were going to use this as an opportunity to give a lecture on proper usage...but this is much cooler. Here, kitty kitty...
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Five years ago in C&J: December 7, 2006
CHEERS to colonizing the big cheese ball in the sky. Guess what, kids? NASA says we're going back to the moon! And this time we get to park our butts there in little love shacks". I hope that's within the Dominos/Netflix delivery area.
JEERS to Rummy madness. Oh, the blogs are seething after someone wrapped a gold medal around his neck without actually strangling him. But if you read the inscription carefully, you'll see it's only for finally winning a senior squash game. Without cheating. Much.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to a spunky lady playing a spunky lady. If you're a fan of the late great Molly Ivins and you live in the greater California area, here's something to clip out and paste on your fridge, courtesy of the Geffen Playhouse in L.A.:
Two-time Tony and Oscar nominee Kathleen Turner sizzles in Red Hot Patriot: The Kick-Ass Wit of Molly Ivins as the brassy Texan reporter whose liberal journalism skyrocketed her to the national stage. From writing Elvis Presley’s New York Times obituary to becoming the most widely-read selfproclaimed “pain in the ass to whatever powers come to be,” Ivins---often described as a modern-day Mark Twain---made rabid fans and enemies alike with her sharp-tongued humor and unabashed political criticism. Red Hot Patriot begins previews on January 3, 2012 with an official opening date of January 11.
More info here. And to celebrate the news, here's a clip I found last night by Molly that reveals that Newt Gingrich's weird obsession with the po' kids was alive and well back in 1994:
When Gingrich started muttering about putting millions of children in orphanages to be raised by a government he believes can't do anything right, some of my compatriots here on what passes for the left were chilled to the bone.
I believe he made those remarks after meeting with lobbyists from the gruel industry. Ain't he just the Dickens.
Have a nice Wednesday. Glad to have you on the team. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"Bill in Portland Maine is neurologically programmed to do dumb things."
---Dr. Victor Strasburger
University of New Mexico
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