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In Washington Wednesday, Gingrich told a crowd at the Republican Jewish Coalition forum that he’d nominate former Bush administration UN envoy John Bolton as Secretary of State.

TPM #1

It gets worse.

Asked by TPM to respond to Gingrich’s speech at the Republican Jewish Coalition Candidate Forum in Washington where he said flatly that Bolton would be his choice to run the nation’s foreign policy, Bolton’s office declined to say if he’d accept the appointment, if he’s discussed it with Gingrich or whether or not he’s endorsing Gingrich.

TPM #2

Chutzpah is announcing your secretary of state nominee before you are even nominated.

Extra chutzpah is nominating someone manifestly unfit for the position by reason of a lack of self-control.

But it takes Newt to announce that someone will fill a cabinet post in his somewhat improbable administration ... without even discussing the possibility with that person.

So, below the Orange Squiggle of Power, I hereby announce my cabinet appointees for the forthcoming blue aardvark administration, as America recovers from her long nightmare and realizes that only a sapient termite-eating quadruped can save us from our problems.

Position Appointee
Vice President, a.k.a. co-pilot God
State Ben Franklin
Treasury Money-changer whipping Jesus
Defense Winston Churchill
Justice Solomon
Interior Crazy Horse
Agriculture Persephone
Commerce Thin Buddha
Labor Hercules
Health Vishnu
Transportation Robert Goddard
Energy Albert Einstein
Education Socrates
Veteran's Affairs George Washington
Homeland Security Horatio
Chief of Staff Confucius
These people and / or entities will accept their positions, as I have decreed. For I am blue aardvark, mighty and powerful.

Hey, if it works for Newt ...

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