From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
A Visit from St. Prick
Twas the night before Wednesday, and all through the camp
Occupiers were settled under the glow of street lamps
Their banners were hung from their tent poles with care
Peaceable assembly is why they were there
Some slept quietly, some sawed logs,
A few were awake updating their blogs
They donned winter coats and warm winter hats
They slept on bubble wrap and flimsy foam mats
When out on the street there arose a great din
Like a band of thugs drunk on vodka and gin
The riot cops' knives were out in a flash,
Tearing open the tents, with a hack and a slash
The moon up above watched the police army grow
Illuminating the mayhem in the park down below.
When what to our bleary eyes should appear,
But Lieutenant John Pike, parachuting down in full riot gear
A goon with a goatee all scruffy and thick
We knew in a moment he must be St. Prick
More rapid than eagles the officers came,
Pike whistled, and shouted, and then he proclaimed:
"Hey hippies! Hey homeless! Hey students with debts!
Hey jobless! Hey grandmas! And you, Iraq vets!
Hands on your head! Up against the wall!
Now spread 'em wide! Spread 'em wide! Spread 'em wide all!"
And then, in a twinkling, I saw a great sight
The protesters sat and locked their arms tight
As I gathered my head, and was turning around,
Over strode Pike, fuming, with a bound
He was dressed for a war, from his head to his foot,
But the occupiers weren't scared, in fact they stayed put
A bundle of weapons he had clipped, holstered and hooked
He looked like Darth Vader, and he wanted them booked
He was chubby and plump, a sadistic old elf,
And he smirked as he strutted, so full of himself
Hoisting a spray can and turning his head,
He let them all know they had plenty to dread.
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work
Shooting pepper spray, point-blank, like a big effing jerk.
And laying his hand atop of his belt
For a fresh new canister his stubby fingers felt.
But seeing all the phone cams recording the melee
He thought twice about it, and he put it away
And I heard the peaceful crowd exclaim as the cops slunk out of sight,
"You can't evict an idea. But nice try---and goodnight."
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, December 8, 2011
Note: If you missed navajo's diary about an easy easy easy way to help send people of color to Netroots Nation next June, click here and then vote vote vote. Thx Thx Thx.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til winter and spring: 14 / 103
Days `til the Schooner Wharf Bar & Galley Lighted Boat Parade in Key West: 2
Number of U.S. metro areas in which the unemployment rate fell and rose, respectively, in October: 281 / 57
(Source: Labor Dept.)
Percent of the increase in corporate profit margins since 2001 that came from depressed wages: 3/4
(Source: Harper's Index)
Estimated number of births in the U.S. in 2010: 4 million
The last time the number of births was that low: 1999
(Source: Time)
Number of the four calling birds that no longer have a land line: 2
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
I'm in favor of all the election reforms being advocated by the goo-goos (short for good government groups), plus I am indebted to a blogger on DailyKos.com for the brilliant notion that George Soros should buy Diebold Co. The country's leading manufacturer of electronic voting machines is currently headed by a Bush Pioneer, which is enough to give anyone the creeps. Other liberal billionaires could buy the other voting-machine companies, and then they should be put into a public trust whose workings are open to everyone.
---November, 2004
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Welcome home
(Oh, and an update to yesterday's pic: the fired baggage worker from Reno-Tahoe International Airport got her job back!)
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CHEERS to holding the banksters' feet wingtips to the fire. I still can't believe how the administration tried like crazy to let those responsible for the foreclosure explosion off with barely a slap on the wrist. So my gratitude to states that are refusing to go along with it is off the charts. The latest to team up and go after the banksters: California and Nevada:
"The mortgage crisis is a manmade disaster that has taken a heavy toll on the country, but it saved its worst for California and Nevada," said [California Attorney General Kamala] Harris. "The mortgage crisis is a law-enforcement matter, and we will prosecute to hold accountable those who are responsible and also protect the homeowners who are targeted for fraud.
The deal comes as the two states pulled out of nationwide settlement talks with the banks and have aggressively pursued independent investigations into the practice known as robo-signing, in which banks and mortgages servicers were accused of rubber-stamping foreclosures without actually reviewing homeowners' documents.
And in other good news from out west: kudos also to the Los Angeles City Council for voting to assert that "corporate personhood" is an idea whose time has come…to go. More like this, please.
JEERS to teabaggerism in action. Maine Governor Paul LePage (R) unveiled his awesome plan for cutting spending, and everyone will have to sacrifice. And by everyone I mean everyone but the wealthy:
An estimated 65,000 Mainers are slated to lose heath coverage under the plan. The proposal would end MaineCare support for residential facilities for the mentally and physically disabled, labeled “private, non-medical institutions,” to save $47 million in state funds. The facilities often house senior citizens who no longer own a residence but don’t need nursing home care.
“These people have given up everything to get this level of care,” said Karen Higgins, executive director of the Phillips-Strickland House in Bangor, where 42 of the 48 residents rely on MaineCare. “They have no home to go back to.” […]
“I can’t believe this,” said John Hennessy, advocacy director for the 230,000-member Maine AARP. “Our members are devastated.”
So remember that, kids. When times are tough, be sure to take it out on the poor, elderly and mentally ill. But leave the rich alone because they're job creators! Although there is a bright side to the governor's plan: a free throw rug for Grandma's ice floe.
JEERS to looney loners. Thirty-one years ago today, on December 8, 1980, John Lennon was gunned down by Mark Chapman. I was 16 and getting ready for school when I heard the news that day (oh boy), and it's hard to fathom that I'm now seven years older than he was (40) when he was killed. What a waste. Lennon said that all you need is love, give peace a chance, war is over if you want it, and imagine all the people living life in peace. I'll go out on a limb here and suggest he was a dreamer, but not the only one. Just a hunch.
OOPS to the whole falling out of the sky thing. Bad news: One of our stealth drones crash landed in Iran, and word is they're going to send the carcass to China for…oh, what's the phrase…study and duplication. Good news: it's one of the drones that's nothing but balsa wood, rubber bands and a gerbil with binoculars.
JEERS to spitballs from the sputterers. Two GOP presidential candidates have come out swinging as hard as they possibly can. Rick Santorum slammed President Obama for announcing the death of Osama bin Laden, and Rick Perry blasted Obama for letting gay people serve openly in the military and stealing Christmas from babies. As a result, they're now perfectly poised to ride their single-digit approval rating to the White House. Late-breaking Update: Oops, sorry. I meant White Castle.
FEH to NAFTA. On December 8, 1993 the North American Free Trade Agreement was signed into law by President Clinton. It eliminates virtually all tariffs and trade restrictions between the U.S., Canada and Mexico. To celebrate, officials will commemorate its 18th anniversary by visiting U.S. manufacturing plants all across the country. And that country, of course, would be Mexico.
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Five years ago in C&J: December 8, 2006
CHEERS to the writing on the shower wall. Glenn LeCarl of the Naval Academy Alumni Association pens an editorial in Navy Times calling the military's Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Swish rule ridiculous:
In this time of war, the absurdity of discharging otherwise qualified military personnel, including those in critical fields, solely because of their LGBT identity, and discouraging thousands of others from seeking military service, is plain. Moreover, any official policy predicated on one group's inequality will not stand.
As of yesterday I only have 8 months before I turn 43, thus closing my enlistment window for good. So repeal the damn rule and let me in, guys---I'll even settle for the rank of colonel.
WHAAAA...? to strange bedfellows cuddling under the irony blanket. White House press secretary Tony Snow says, 'The one thing [the Iraq Study Group] thought was absolutely important was to rebuild a sense of national unity on this.' So let's check the reactions: Kos hates the ISG report because, to him, it means we're staying. Rush Limbaugh hates the ISG report because, to him, it means we're leaving. Get a room, you two.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to home entertainment: ideology edition. Ever wonder what the left and right watch when they're not watching cable news? Consumer research group Experian-Simmons aimed to find out, and it ain't all that surprising:
LIBERAL/DEMOCRAT FAVORITES:
- The Daily Show With Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report
- 30 Rock and Parks and Recreation
- The View
- Glee
- Modern Family
CONSERVATIVE/REPUBLICAN FAVORITES:
- Swamp Loggers
- The Bachelor
- Castle
- Mythbusters
- Only in America With Larry the Cable Guy
But there is unanimous agreement on one thing: the Cialis commercials are the worst.
Have a nice Thursday. Say hello to my new friend, Rudolph the Red Nosed AT-AT. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Fox's Bolling Attacks Cheers and Jeers As A "Communist, Socialist Manifesto"
---Media Matters
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