This was going to be a nice piece with humor. Then we had a baby. Now it's a short piece laying out some facts about this year's Army-Navy Game and setting up some space for appropriate chit chat during.
Myth: College Football is done but for the bowls
Fact: CBS at 1930Z features the most heated rivalry in all of sports
Myth: [Insert rivalry here] is better
Fact: If Navy were 11-0 right now, ranked #2 in the BCS, and beat LSU 73-0 to finish at 12-1 and BCS champions it would be a failed season.
Fact: Navy Freshmen say "Beat Army" at the top of their lungs over 50 times a day.
Fact: Army tries to say "Sink Navy", but their poorer conditioning program leaves them gasping after only '03 attempts.
Myth: Army's on the up and up
Fact: Navy's on the hot streak here.
Myth: The Black Knight always triumphs!
Fact: The Goat is old and gnarly (and he's never been to school)
Fact: He can take the bacon from the worn out Army mule
Fact: He's got no education and he's brimmin' full of fight
Fact: Bill will feast on Army Mule tonight!
Fact: The official Team Mascot of the US Naval Academy is actually the Midshipmen, not the Gnarly Goats
Legend: We stole a goat en route to the first Army-Navy game and thus Bill was born
Fact: Team Bill (the goat wranglers) have a cool challenge coin.
Myth: "Middies" is acceptable shorthand
Fact: "Middies" is an insult hurled intentionally by dirty Woops and unintentionally by the ignorant. "Mids" is always acceptable.
Myth: These are Soldiers and Sailors on the field.
Fact: "Midshipman" is a historic rank. "Cadet" is not. The only real military on the field are the Sailors.
Myth: It's a respectful rivalry on the field
Fact: It's a respectful rivalry OFF the field. On the field permanent, life-changing injury is a well known and accepted risk.
Myth: Close games are more exciting for the students
Fact: The 12th TD to put Navy up 84-3 is just as celebrated as the one that made it 7-0.
Fact: An acceptable score is laid out by the following scenario: Navy wins the toss, receives, returns for TD, converts for two. The ensuing kickoff is onside, Navy recovers, returns for a TD, converts for two. Repeat the preceding sentence until time has expired.
Myth: Army stands a chance
Fact: Roll up the score, Navy, Anchors Aweigh!